Contemplation
So sitting around doing nothing sure does leave a certain distinct taste in your mouth... And its not sweet and no its not that either... Instead its very sour... And why im not sure... I mean everything is good or at least im given the impression that it is... but for some reason I feel the same way as a few nights ago... And I was feeling that even yesterday... Now dont get me wrong yesterday was great... But when you have something on your mind just looming over your shoulder like this its kinda hard not to acknowledge it... What is this feeling you ask?... The feeling that youre just being kept around and yet you still stay... Against your better judgement... And youve known this now for a while... But you keep getting reassured that youre not being kept around, youre not being pushed back, youre not losing importance... But for some reason you still feel like you are... You still feel like shit... Actions speak louder than words... But in truth youre actions confuse me... They have and still do... I try to tell you this and I keep getting the same spiel over and over again... I try to understand whats going on... I try to be the good guy... But for some strange reason the good guy loses... Dont tell me that he doesnt... Because he does... And he currently is... This feeling, this taste in my mouth is not cool... You keep saying you have to stop but you keep going anyway... I am continuing to doubt my importance in this dance that we keep performing... And it hurts to say that... But honestly that is what I feel... Im going to stop before I become more "frustrated" than I already am... Ill be around if anyone "needs" me...