[Life/Random] Observations of my fellows.
This is written for my Sociology of Sexuality and Gender class. I posted it here and on D.A, I wont post it in a trans or pride community because I do not trust them not to bitch me out.
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I have observed whilst being part of different pride groups or transsexual communities that even among those misunderstood by the rest of society and judged upon our adhering to scripting and gender codes; we still push those around us to the same standards. As a Female to Male Transsexual I have known for a long time I am doing nothing to fight against the scripts of hegemonic masculinity, the beliefs of what masculine behaviors and actions should be (Dictionary 3.0.) If I wished to fight against these scripts a better option would be to remain female in sex but gender myself male. If for no other reason than I was not born male I must further adhere to these codes then a cis-gender, a person born to the correct gender and sex, male would have to!
We continually evaluate each other upon these behaviors and appearances, even when we know ourselves that we would not wish the same treatment. I am guilty of doing this in the past to a few other female to male transsexuals I have met, and such preconceived notions can turn into hostility. The idea of the peer arena, where others evaluate your gendered performance, and critique and judge each other does not end with the advancement into adulthood. It is more common among adolescence but their remains that ingrained notion in people that if they make others look worse than they are, they will look better in others eyes. To this end thoughts run that they are not taking their transition as seriously as I am, or that they are not as devoted.
This is why I usually do not enter or stay in groups or communities that deal with issues in my own life; we are constantly obsessed with describing, analyzing and reacting to other people’s choices of sexuality and personal life as Michel Foucault wrote. The idea that someone’s sexuality should exist behind a closed door cannot really happen when we emerge ourselves in their affairs. We bring our notions of what is right and correct with us from before our transition even while we try to wage war on the scripts and gendered ideologies that we are trying to change! How can we change things if we ourselves are still judging each other on the notions kept by the essentialist lenses, that there are two genders and they are fundamentally different?(Dictionary 3.0.) To judge someone else’s transition from their born gender to their wanted gender is to open that door for the same treatment. As groups trying to bring messages we have been drawn to each other but stand apart, still calling judgments on those who we should be standing beside because no others will have us. If a minority cannot stand together how can it expect to stand up to the majority and enact these plans for change?
Based on society, media and what we have been taught we make the distinction between what is ‘normal’ and ‘abnormal’ sexual behavior. And it is this that we take up in arms against those who are at all different from ourselves even if they themselves are trying to escape heternormativity, the norms expected of each gender (Dictionary 3.0.) There is an increasing range of what is considered feminine and masculine, and transsexuals should be able to fall under these categories as well as cis-gendered individuals. A female to male transsexual should not have to have a buzz cut, wear baggy jeans and have facial hair to be acknowledged as a male, although this is easier said than done in practice of course. Just because this particular female to male is wearing makeup today and tight pants shouldn’t mean that oh! They have gone back upon their decision and wish to now remain female, or a male to female who is wearing slacks and a baggy t-shirt has changed their mind upon that decision as well. Though to counter my own point I will say however that many transsexuals I have met or heard from are far more sensitive then I in regards to gender pro-nouns and bullying.
I have the self confidence because of the support in my life not to be crushed when one person says to me that ‘you will never be male’. I know that many do not have this self confidence and support system, and they are the ones that the peer arena hurts the most. They who have their hearts crushed by complete strangers who are ill informed or simply just out to hurt, who think that anyone who says anything toward transsexuals in misunderstanding and not in flattery is being trans-phobic. We judge each other and we judge everyone else, and in standing together we need to get some thicker skin.
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I have observed whilst being part of different pride groups or transsexual communities that even among those misunderstood by the rest of society and judged upon our adhering to scripting and gender codes; we still push those around us to the same standards. As a Female to Male Transsexual I have known for a long time I am doing nothing to fight against the scripts of hegemonic masculinity, the beliefs of what masculine behaviors and actions should be (Dictionary 3.0.) If I wished to fight against these scripts a better option would be to remain female in sex but gender myself male. If for no other reason than I was not born male I must further adhere to these codes then a cis-gender, a person born to the correct gender and sex, male would have to!
We continually evaluate each other upon these behaviors and appearances, even when we know ourselves that we would not wish the same treatment. I am guilty of doing this in the past to a few other female to male transsexuals I have met, and such preconceived notions can turn into hostility. The idea of the peer arena, where others evaluate your gendered performance, and critique and judge each other does not end with the advancement into adulthood. It is more common among adolescence but their remains that ingrained notion in people that if they make others look worse than they are, they will look better in others eyes. To this end thoughts run that they are not taking their transition as seriously as I am, or that they are not as devoted.
This is why I usually do not enter or stay in groups or communities that deal with issues in my own life; we are constantly obsessed with describing, analyzing and reacting to other people’s choices of sexuality and personal life as Michel Foucault wrote. The idea that someone’s sexuality should exist behind a closed door cannot really happen when we emerge ourselves in their affairs. We bring our notions of what is right and correct with us from before our transition even while we try to wage war on the scripts and gendered ideologies that we are trying to change! How can we change things if we ourselves are still judging each other on the notions kept by the essentialist lenses, that there are two genders and they are fundamentally different?(Dictionary 3.0.) To judge someone else’s transition from their born gender to their wanted gender is to open that door for the same treatment. As groups trying to bring messages we have been drawn to each other but stand apart, still calling judgments on those who we should be standing beside because no others will have us. If a minority cannot stand together how can it expect to stand up to the majority and enact these plans for change?
Based on society, media and what we have been taught we make the distinction between what is ‘normal’ and ‘abnormal’ sexual behavior. And it is this that we take up in arms against those who are at all different from ourselves even if they themselves are trying to escape heternormativity, the norms expected of each gender (Dictionary 3.0.) There is an increasing range of what is considered feminine and masculine, and transsexuals should be able to fall under these categories as well as cis-gendered individuals. A female to male transsexual should not have to have a buzz cut, wear baggy jeans and have facial hair to be acknowledged as a male, although this is easier said than done in practice of course. Just because this particular female to male is wearing makeup today and tight pants shouldn’t mean that oh! They have gone back upon their decision and wish to now remain female, or a male to female who is wearing slacks and a baggy t-shirt has changed their mind upon that decision as well. Though to counter my own point I will say however that many transsexuals I have met or heard from are far more sensitive then I in regards to gender pro-nouns and bullying.
I have the self confidence because of the support in my life not to be crushed when one person says to me that ‘you will never be male’. I know that many do not have this self confidence and support system, and they are the ones that the peer arena hurts the most. They who have their hearts crushed by complete strangers who are ill informed or simply just out to hurt, who think that anyone who says anything toward transsexuals in misunderstanding and not in flattery is being trans-phobic. We judge each other and we judge everyone else, and in standing together we need to get some thicker skin.