Rosetta STONED
Alrighty, then ... picture this if you will.
It began at 2 AM (while eating an entire box of Krispy Kremes, at my need-to-know post just outside Area 51, contemplating the whole "chosen people" thing) a flaming, stealth banana split the sky, like wide open.
I never expected to see it in a place like this.
I do believe I spilled a diet soda or something right on my Birkenstocks.
Then he yelled at me.
Holy fucking shit!
Then the X-Files beings (who were like some kind of blue-green Jackie Chan with Isabella Rossellini lips & breath that reeked) did a wicked jump there while making the sound "a-banana-da-banana." That's when I opened up my bug-eyes, my gaping jaw, and my sweaty L. Ron Hubbard upper lip. And all I could think was, "I hope Uncle Martin here doesn't notice that I pissed my fuckin' pants."
(So alive in this way)
Like an apparition, He had me crying out,
"Fuck me, it's gotta be deadhead chemistry. The bottom got on the top of me. Got me seein' E-motherfuckin'-T!"
After calming me down with some orange slices and some fetal spooning, E.T. revealed to me his singular purpose. He said, "You are the Chosen One, the One who will deliver the message. A message of hope to those who choose to hear it and a warning to those who do not."
Me. The Chosen One?
They chose me, and I didn't graduate from fuckin' high school. I'd better listen.
Then he looked right through me with somniferous almond eyes. (Don't even know what that means, must remember to write it down).
This is surreal, like the time they floated away. See, my heart is pounding cause this shit never happens to me.
I can't breathe right now!
It was so real, like I woke up in Wonderland. Also a bit terrifying.
I don't wanna be all alone when I tell this story.
And can anyone tell me why?
Will I ever be coming down?
Finally, it's my lucky day
See, my heart is racing cause this shit never happens to me
I can't breathe right now!
You believe me, don't you? Please believe what I just said! This wasn't all in my head.
See, they took me by the hand and invited me right in. Then they showed me something.
I don't even know where to begin.
Strapped down on my bed, feet cold, eyes red. I'm out of my head.
Am I alive? Am I dead?
Can't remember what they said!!!
God damn, shit the bed!
Overwhelmed as one would be, placed in my position. Such a heavy burden now to be the One. Born to bear and read you all the details of our ending, to write it down for all the world to see.
But I forgot my pen
Shit the bed again ...
Typical.
Strapped down on my bed, feet cold and eyes red.
I'm out of my head
Am I alive? Am I dead?
Sunkist and Sudafed, Gyroscopes and infared won't help (brain dead).
Can't remember what they said!
God damn, shit the bed
I can't remember what they said to me!!!
Can't remember what they said to make me out to be a hero
Don't know, won't know
God damn, shit the bed!
It began at 2 AM (while eating an entire box of Krispy Kremes, at my need-to-know post just outside Area 51, contemplating the whole "chosen people" thing) a flaming, stealth banana split the sky, like wide open.
I never expected to see it in a place like this.
I do believe I spilled a diet soda or something right on my Birkenstocks.
Then he yelled at me.
Holy fucking shit!
Then the X-Files beings (who were like some kind of blue-green Jackie Chan with Isabella Rossellini lips & breath that reeked) did a wicked jump there while making the sound "a-banana-da-banana." That's when I opened up my bug-eyes, my gaping jaw, and my sweaty L. Ron Hubbard upper lip. And all I could think was, "I hope Uncle Martin here doesn't notice that I pissed my fuckin' pants."
(So alive in this way)
Like an apparition, He had me crying out,
"Fuck me, it's gotta be deadhead chemistry. The bottom got on the top of me. Got me seein' E-motherfuckin'-T!"
After calming me down with some orange slices and some fetal spooning, E.T. revealed to me his singular purpose. He said, "You are the Chosen One, the One who will deliver the message. A message of hope to those who choose to hear it and a warning to those who do not."
Me. The Chosen One?
They chose me, and I didn't graduate from fuckin' high school. I'd better listen.
Then he looked right through me with somniferous almond eyes. (Don't even know what that means, must remember to write it down).
This is surreal, like the time they floated away. See, my heart is pounding cause this shit never happens to me.
I can't breathe right now!
It was so real, like I woke up in Wonderland. Also a bit terrifying.
I don't wanna be all alone when I tell this story.
And can anyone tell me why?
Will I ever be coming down?
Finally, it's my lucky day
See, my heart is racing cause this shit never happens to me
I can't breathe right now!
You believe me, don't you? Please believe what I just said! This wasn't all in my head.
See, they took me by the hand and invited me right in. Then they showed me something.
I don't even know where to begin.
Strapped down on my bed, feet cold, eyes red. I'm out of my head.
Am I alive? Am I dead?
Can't remember what they said!!!
God damn, shit the bed!
Overwhelmed as one would be, placed in my position. Such a heavy burden now to be the One. Born to bear and read you all the details of our ending, to write it down for all the world to see.
But I forgot my pen
Shit the bed again ...
Typical.
Strapped down on my bed, feet cold and eyes red.
I'm out of my head
Am I alive? Am I dead?
Sunkist and Sudafed, Gyroscopes and infared won't help (brain dead).
Can't remember what they said!
God damn, shit the bed
I can't remember what they said to me!!!
Can't remember what they said to make me out to be a hero
Don't know, won't know
God damn, shit the bed!