(no subject)
Blah. I've been thinking a lot lately about some weird things.
First off, today I came home in the beginning of 7th hour because I didn't feel good at all. Great. I got Marisa & Erica's sickness. boo hoo.
Anyways, what if all of the things in life, the feelings, places, things, people and even life itself were all made as just a distraction from something greater that we are not to know about. What if life was one big distraction? Which got me to thinking. About a month ago, I think I really got my heart broken. When I say think. I mean think. I don't know how I should be feeling about anything that I go through because of what I have on life. Was this heartbreak all just something to keep me distracted from something else, or was it true feeling. Now when I look at him, it's amazing. I know it was real feeling but I don't quite know how to react to it. the feelings. To me, feelings before were just thoughts and I thought they couldn't control anything you do. Oh but I was wrong. I guess in the past month or so I've matured in a sense that has made me a better person who appreciates the happier times of my days. I now feel bad when I'm bitchy or rude to absolutely anyone. For those 'people' I've been mean to all my life, I try to avoid them because it would just be awkward to talk to them because it would end up making me mad. I know I can't make everyone happy, but it would be nice if I could.
"What if it were all a dream? These people, places, & feelings, all just something created to keep us from knowing what should be known?"
--- someone who I'm very close to wrote that. someone you would never think would even think about writing something like that. I guess you have to look beyond the opposite of the person you see on the outside to see who they really are because in the end, nobody is who you think they are. That's what makes me mad. When people judge people by what they wear or how they act in public. The way someone acts in public is defiently not always who you think they are. You can miss out on awesome people when you judge them because they paint their nails black and happen to put aboutl 3 lbs. of eyeliner each day. Thats what sucks about the world. Judgement. I hate when people at school judge me. "Oh, its the preppy stupid blonde. She gets anything she wants and she has it all made. Mr. Shymanski will get her out of any trouble she's in" Bull fucking shit. If anything, he puts more pressure on me to do better. So fuck off bitches. a;erotj aperlkj.
Well.. I'm really sick, and this entry took a lot of thought, so I'll try and update when I have some time. Tomorrow's Friday and hopefully I'll be feeling better, and another good thing is I don't hve practice. It's like the first time in 2 years and I was trying to find out a way to miss practice tomorrow and come to find we don't have it. Wonderful. :-).
Shower time and probablly to call Taylor, like always.
x3xo
me