Depression & Anxiety
There seems to be no reason that I can think of that leaves me feeling this blue. I have lots to be thankful for. I have a terrific, loving and supportive partner. I am a member of a rock band where I play keyboards. I get to live in a nice condo with a back yard and a small above ground pool. We have a pair of folding bikes that I tale rides on around the neighborhood.
I have been diagnosed with bipolar depression and have felt this way many more times than I can count. I started feeling these depressions when I was about 14 or 15 and they got worse as I attended college in the early 70's. Of course then there were no ant-depression medications and my melancholia was treated by "talk therapy". Mostly I would be told to engage in activities and try to control my mind set and mood with positive thinking. I read many self help books as well. When I was in NYC for my first few years I participated in Primal type therapy. It wasn't the real thing but I got to release a lot of energy and yelled and screamed a lot...as did everyone else in the room.
I am under the care of a psychiatrist at the AHP center and am currently taking Effexor in low 75mg doses. Tomorrow I will see him and am going to ask if going on a anti-anxiety medication might take the edge off just a bit. Plus I want to ask him if going back on Lithium may be the answer. I was doing fine on Lithium for about 12 years ...it just had some bad side effects. I lost four of my lower molars due to roots desolving.
I really miss singing with a vocal group like the Starry Knights. My band is only instrumental and I only get to sing 96 tears and House of the Rising sun. It's gratifying, but I long to sing in tight harmony again in a quartet. It's the kind of sound that makes people notice and I miss the cheers and whoops and applause we used to get. Not every venue was as welcoming but 85% of the time it was a real rush.
It's been next to impossible to fing singers in the area who want to sing in a doo-wop group. Lord knows ....I have tried.
I have been diagnosed with bipolar depression and have felt this way many more times than I can count. I started feeling these depressions when I was about 14 or 15 and they got worse as I attended college in the early 70's. Of course then there were no ant-depression medications and my melancholia was treated by "talk therapy". Mostly I would be told to engage in activities and try to control my mind set and mood with positive thinking. I read many self help books as well. When I was in NYC for my first few years I participated in Primal type therapy. It wasn't the real thing but I got to release a lot of energy and yelled and screamed a lot...as did everyone else in the room.
I am under the care of a psychiatrist at the AHP center and am currently taking Effexor in low 75mg doses. Tomorrow I will see him and am going to ask if going on a anti-anxiety medication might take the edge off just a bit. Plus I want to ask him if going back on Lithium may be the answer. I was doing fine on Lithium for about 12 years ...it just had some bad side effects. I lost four of my lower molars due to roots desolving.
I really miss singing with a vocal group like the Starry Knights. My band is only instrumental and I only get to sing 96 tears and House of the Rising sun. It's gratifying, but I long to sing in tight harmony again in a quartet. It's the kind of sound that makes people notice and I miss the cheers and whoops and applause we used to get. Not every venue was as welcoming but 85% of the time it was a real rush.
It's been next to impossible to fing singers in the area who want to sing in a doo-wop group. Lord knows ....I have tried.