Update from Canada
Being around families is hard. Being around other people's families can be harder.\ i never know quite what to do or what is my place when they are arguing.\
i have spent way more money on parking in toronto than i have on bought goods.
i also went to see that surgeon i was talking about before. he was really cute. in either a faggy or a metrosexual kind of way. really good suit. i really like him. he didn't care that i was more in the middle and not a "man trapped in a woman's body." i was really nervous about that. he didn't care that i don't want to do hormones. and he doesn't require a therapists letter that says that i am fucked in the head because of my gender. he basically said that his trans parents are the most knowledgeable patients he has because we come in having done so much research already. he doesn't need a stupid letter. we know what we are doing.
but reality also hit me when i looked at his before and after pictures. i am \not going to look like brad pitt. not that i ever really thought that i would but i do have dreams about what a flat chest will look like. but with those scars and my flab, it won't look like how it looks in my head. no matter who i go to. andt hat's sad to me. not sad enough to not go through with it because it would be fantastic not to bind any more. but just sad that i'll never look the way i want to. but then again, who ever does?\
i'll take what i can get. and i'll still feel better in t-shirts even if i don't feel any better naked. : )
ps this keyboard sucks.
i have spent way more money on parking in toronto than i have on bought goods.
i also went to see that surgeon i was talking about before. he was really cute. in either a faggy or a metrosexual kind of way. really good suit. i really like him. he didn't care that i was more in the middle and not a "man trapped in a woman's body." i was really nervous about that. he didn't care that i don't want to do hormones. and he doesn't require a therapists letter that says that i am fucked in the head because of my gender. he basically said that his trans parents are the most knowledgeable patients he has because we come in having done so much research already. he doesn't need a stupid letter. we know what we are doing.
but reality also hit me when i looked at his before and after pictures. i am \not going to look like brad pitt. not that i ever really thought that i would but i do have dreams about what a flat chest will look like. but with those scars and my flab, it won't look like how it looks in my head. no matter who i go to. andt hat's sad to me. not sad enough to not go through with it because it would be fantastic not to bind any more. but just sad that i'll never look the way i want to. but then again, who ever does?\
i'll take what i can get. and i'll still feel better in t-shirts even if i don't feel any better naked. : )
ps this keyboard sucks.