soul food is so good : )
oh, i had soul food today : ) it was wonderful. it was actual soul food-- it fed my spirit. it was so sweet. i had the most encouraging conversation with a new friend. it was amazing. I saw the Lord in her in so many ways. I love it when i meet people who are just so wise, and they offer to share their heart. She did, and it was amazing. I love it when i can find people who are passionate--and whatever it is they are passionate about, to see them come alive. i saw Lauren come alive when she was talking about jesus, and it was amazing. we sat for hours just chewing up how good the Lord is.
Right now i am in a "I dont know" stage. and thats okay. It is completely normal for a girl my age to not know where she is going; i know its completley normal for a freshman to change their degree like a bazillion times. i know that most people even after they have a degree dont know what they are doing with their life. i know this. however, when i entered college, i knew what i was going to do. i knew what my major was, i had it all planned out. oh, how quickly i learned when Jesus turned my world upside down that his plan is so much more exciting than the plan i have for my life.
i do know that i want to go. i want to the middle east, maybe africa. i want to serve. i want to be led by jesus. what all that entails, i dont know. i dont know when. i dont know if college is before or after or even there at all. i dont know where. i dont know how.
but the desire is on my heart. i feel like isiah when he cried out "Here I am LORD! Send me!" I am here lord, willing and waiting. But i do know that the Lord placed the desire on my heart, and for a reason. he will provide a way, i am to just be willing. Isnt it so sweet to be in waiting for the Lord?
I remember the first time i went to camp. I was in fifth grade and i was going to a 4H camp in the mountains.. hours away from home. i was so excited. i was a bit nervous. i remember just counting down the days. i was so excited. it was so hard just waiting. i wasnt doing anything else that summer but preparing to go to that camp. i packed my bag like a week before i was leaving i was so anxious. i knew it was coming. it was solid. i was just in waiting.
how sweeter it is with jesus. I know its coming. He is coming. He will provide a way, and oh, how amazing it will be. i am just counting down the days.i am excited, nervous, anxious.. its coming, i assure you. right now, i am just packing my bags. getting ready
its so joyful to lay something down to the Lord. i had been struggling for so long with direction here at college. But to just lay down my life, its like holding on to sand.. if i try to grip it, or hold it too tight-- it will just go right through my fingers.. if i scoop it up.. and just hold my hands out.. there it is.. hand it over to jesus, and o! the joy that comes with it. I cant even explain how amazing it is to see it and love it and leave it.. to rejoice in it, to live it, but to give it to jesus, and leave it there. ah, it beautiful and lovely
Life has been tough. some may have known that. But the Joy that comes with the restoration from Christ is indescribable. and worth every hardship. Its scary, beautiful, lovely and exciting all in one. Only jesus can mix all the emotions into a perfect formula that soothes the soul..
rejoice!
"In his heart a man plans his course, but the Lord determines his steps." Proverbs 16:9