My grandmother is getting to the same place as Mrs. PNOG, and it's only getting harder. She continuely calls my youngest niece by the wrong name (Cynthia, when her name is Gretchen, and there is no Cynthia in our family), she's forgetting her medicine, what she did they day before, etc. It's heartbreaking.
I've read in several different places that the best thing (and kindest thing!) you can do for someone who has dementia when it comes to dealing with forgetting deaths of loved ones is to NOT keep reminding them about the deaths, because it's like experiencing the initial shock and grief every single time. This might not work for someone with mild dementia, but for someone with severe dementia it's better to not tell the absolute truth, but instead to say something like, "Oh, he's not here right now, but you'll see him again soon".
If I were you I would remove the memorial card, and just see if it makes any difference. If she doesn't ask about it, and seems to deal with the loss better, so be it. If she asks about it, you could ask her if it was misplaced, moved, etc, to see if it being gone really bothers her. If she gets even more upset, it can be easily 'found'.
I've read in several different places that the best thing (and kindest thing!) you can do for someone who has dementia when it comes to dealing with forgetting deaths of loved ones is to NOT keep reminding them about the deaths, because it's like experiencing the initial shock and grief every single time. This might not work for someone with mild dementia, but for someone with severe dementia it's better to not tell the absolute truth, but instead to say something like, "Oh, he's not here right now, but you'll see him again soon".
If I were you I would remove the memorial card, and just see if it makes any difference. If she doesn't ask about it, and seems to deal with the loss better, so be it. If she asks about it, you could ask her if it was misplaced, moved, etc, to see if it being gone really bothers her. If she gets even more upset, it can be easily 'found'.
It's a tough situation. :( *BIG HUGS*
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