I'm a homewrecker and I want to become a mime.
I have less than a month here. I've never been so sad... so scared... so everything at one time... in my entire life. In the last month, this place has become my home. These people have become my family. I don't know what I am going to do.
Kara came up. I had a great time introducing her to the people I have been chillin with. It was awesome/weird to see a familiar face. I think she was a little disapointed that we couldn't do as much as she wanted. She also put me in place about our dad. That was a necessary discussion... but an unexpected one... I kind of forgot I have a life at home that's fairly broken. But atleast I have two amazing sisters to stand by me... that reminds me, HAPPY FUCKING BIRTHDAY ANNIE!!!!! My older sis is 25 today. I'm sad I can't be there for the quarter mark.
Wednesday night was absolutely ridiculous.
Ana went missing.
Boys were crying and coming to me for help.
Chicken with cheese made me orgasm.
I turned everyone I could find into a chain smoker.
I went up to a guy and said:
"Hey, are you engaged?"
"Yea."
"That's a shame."
For some unknown reason.... Later, he told me if I asked him again, he wouldn't say yes. I don't know what the fuck that's suppose to mean. This is why I'm a homewrecker.
I roasted some peanuts.... and I learned a lot about peanuts too... see NikChik's.
I grinded on Nikki Waskie.
Screamed "Time of Your Life"
Collapsed on Emily Zimmerman and sang "The Fifty Nifty United States" song... in perfect alphabetical order.
I ran to the linc in the rain.
The white duck returned in Zombie form.
Thursday morning I had a presentation. On cerebral palsy. I got in front of everyone, and had to excuse myself to the bathroom so I could puke because I was THAT nervous. My hands were shaking so bad, I thought I was going to throw up again in front of everyone, but I somehow managed to survive. 5 minutes into my presentation I realized I only made it through 1/8 of my speech.... and I only had 5 minutes to go. Everyone had a powerpoint except me and Cassie. After that performance I decided I wanted to become a mime.
To drown my sorrows and ease my pain, I played a lil power hour with the Seeeesters, Nikki, Maria, and Kris. With Lauren as our timer.... DRINK! Except it wasn't normal power hour.... it was power hour with Bacardi.
And that leads me to Thursday night.
-Barry the dummie from Bristol
-Franco a.k.a. Alex who I threatened to kill and light on fire. I told him he gives all Alexs a bad name. He read my palm and told me I was deep. I punched him in the crotch a few times with a cucumber. He told Nikki she had hairy armpits, so I pushed him a few times and threw a cucumber at his head. Then I played a lil harmonica for him. Sarah asked him "Whats your name?" and he said "Don't disrespect me." He dropped the n-word and I told him if he does that one more time I'm going to shoot him. And fuck up his face. Paulie saw me and Franco together and he stormed off. Damn you Franco.
-Gave ginger mikey a kiss on the cheek. Stole his signature hat momentarily.
-Told ginger dan that I can't dance with him because Aislyn would be mad.
-Had an alley way experience Im not sure if I want to talk about.
-"WHO ARE YOU? WHAT ARE YOU LOOKING FOR?" "I'm looking for Mic and Im pretty sure he lives up in that window." "MIC DOESN'T LIVE HERE, GET OUT OF HERE!" 10 minutes later. "WHAT ARE YOU STILL DOING HERE?"
-"Hey did you take some of my beer?" "God, no. Come on seriously. I told you I replaced your beer with a Carlson." "But I had more than one beer missing." "Come on Daniel, please."
-Sexually molested Joshie on the dance floor w/waskie for our last HOORAH.
-Dipped a harmonica in beer and then played (or attempted to play) "Hurricane" by Bob Dylan.
-Gave Emily Zimmerman a lap dance.
-Gave Kimberly a lap dance.
-Showed Emily Zimmerman "my snatch."
-Showed her my bootay.
-All while playing the harmonica.
-Ate cucumbers dipped in hummus.
-Noticed that Nikki's hummus is missing.
-Made dummie love to Barry in the rain.
-"We look so homosexual right now." "Not as homosexual as ****, I think we could be having sex right now and wouldn't be as homosexual as ****. Look!"
-"Yea, well, you have a loose vagina. Take that."
-"im going to chase this vodka with vegetable oil." "I'll do it after you."
-"Rolled cigarettes are so much better."
-"Yea, baby" proceeded by a saxophone break down, and the ultimate song cut off short.
-Motivating diet speeches in the bathroom
-"Just pee on my pee." "Foti, is that you?"
-"My nose is bleeding." "Yea, I just puked."
-begged Pete for lamb.
-Did an Irish jig.
-"Hello, hello. How's it going guys? You playing a lil power hour? Is that just diet pepsi?"
"THERES RUM IN THERE BITCH!"
-"I hate you I had to have hand sex with Dobson!"
Central Michigan Nasty Returns.
Fell asleep next to Paulie. Slept through my class today. Tara will be here at 8 o'clock tonight.
"When that boy talks.... all I can hear is 'sex' 'hot' 'sex' 'hot' 'bang you' 'shag you' 'sex' 'lovin it' 'sex' 'hot' 'sex' 'hot' 'bang you' 'shag you' 'sex' 'lovin it' 'sex' 'hot' 'sex' 'hot' 'bang you' 'shag you' 'sex' 'lovin it' 'sex' 'hot' 'sex' 'hot' 'bang you' 'shag you' 'sex' 'lovin it' "
True Story.
Kara came up. I had a great time introducing her to the people I have been chillin with. It was awesome/weird to see a familiar face. I think she was a little disapointed that we couldn't do as much as she wanted. She also put me in place about our dad. That was a necessary discussion... but an unexpected one... I kind of forgot I have a life at home that's fairly broken. But atleast I have two amazing sisters to stand by me... that reminds me, HAPPY FUCKING BIRTHDAY ANNIE!!!!! My older sis is 25 today. I'm sad I can't be there for the quarter mark.
Wednesday night was absolutely ridiculous.
Ana went missing.
Boys were crying and coming to me for help.
Chicken with cheese made me orgasm.
I turned everyone I could find into a chain smoker.
I went up to a guy and said:
"Hey, are you engaged?"
"Yea."
"That's a shame."
For some unknown reason.... Later, he told me if I asked him again, he wouldn't say yes. I don't know what the fuck that's suppose to mean. This is why I'm a homewrecker.
I roasted some peanuts.... and I learned a lot about peanuts too... see NikChik's.
I grinded on Nikki Waskie.
Screamed "Time of Your Life"
Collapsed on Emily Zimmerman and sang "The Fifty Nifty United States" song... in perfect alphabetical order.
I ran to the linc in the rain.
The white duck returned in Zombie form.
Thursday morning I had a presentation. On cerebral palsy. I got in front of everyone, and had to excuse myself to the bathroom so I could puke because I was THAT nervous. My hands were shaking so bad, I thought I was going to throw up again in front of everyone, but I somehow managed to survive. 5 minutes into my presentation I realized I only made it through 1/8 of my speech.... and I only had 5 minutes to go. Everyone had a powerpoint except me and Cassie. After that performance I decided I wanted to become a mime.
To drown my sorrows and ease my pain, I played a lil power hour with the Seeeesters, Nikki, Maria, and Kris. With Lauren as our timer.... DRINK! Except it wasn't normal power hour.... it was power hour with Bacardi.
And that leads me to Thursday night.
-Barry the dummie from Bristol
-Franco a.k.a. Alex who I threatened to kill and light on fire. I told him he gives all Alexs a bad name. He read my palm and told me I was deep. I punched him in the crotch a few times with a cucumber. He told Nikki she had hairy armpits, so I pushed him a few times and threw a cucumber at his head. Then I played a lil harmonica for him. Sarah asked him "Whats your name?" and he said "Don't disrespect me." He dropped the n-word and I told him if he does that one more time I'm going to shoot him. And fuck up his face. Paulie saw me and Franco together and he stormed off. Damn you Franco.
-Gave ginger mikey a kiss on the cheek. Stole his signature hat momentarily.
-Told ginger dan that I can't dance with him because Aislyn would be mad.
-Had an alley way experience Im not sure if I want to talk about.
-"WHO ARE YOU? WHAT ARE YOU LOOKING FOR?" "I'm looking for Mic and Im pretty sure he lives up in that window." "MIC DOESN'T LIVE HERE, GET OUT OF HERE!" 10 minutes later. "WHAT ARE YOU STILL DOING HERE?"
-"Hey did you take some of my beer?" "God, no. Come on seriously. I told you I replaced your beer with a Carlson." "But I had more than one beer missing." "Come on Daniel, please."
-Sexually molested Joshie on the dance floor w/waskie for our last HOORAH.
-Dipped a harmonica in beer and then played (or attempted to play) "Hurricane" by Bob Dylan.
-Gave Emily Zimmerman a lap dance.
-Gave Kimberly a lap dance.
-Showed Emily Zimmerman "my snatch."
-Showed her my bootay.
-All while playing the harmonica.
-Ate cucumbers dipped in hummus.
-Noticed that Nikki's hummus is missing.
-Made dummie love to Barry in the rain.
-"We look so homosexual right now." "Not as homosexual as ****, I think we could be having sex right now and wouldn't be as homosexual as ****. Look!"
-"Yea, well, you have a loose vagina. Take that."
-"im going to chase this vodka with vegetable oil." "I'll do it after you."
-"Rolled cigarettes are so much better."
-"Yea, baby" proceeded by a saxophone break down, and the ultimate song cut off short.
-Motivating diet speeches in the bathroom
-"Just pee on my pee." "Foti, is that you?"
-"My nose is bleeding." "Yea, I just puked."
-begged Pete for lamb.
-Did an Irish jig.
-"Hello, hello. How's it going guys? You playing a lil power hour? Is that just diet pepsi?"
"THERES RUM IN THERE BITCH!"
-"I hate you I had to have hand sex with Dobson!"
Central Michigan Nasty Returns.
Fell asleep next to Paulie. Slept through my class today. Tara will be here at 8 o'clock tonight.
"When that boy talks.... all I can hear is 'sex' 'hot' 'sex' 'hot' 'bang you' 'shag you' 'sex' 'lovin it' 'sex' 'hot' 'sex' 'hot' 'bang you' 'shag you' 'sex' 'lovin it' 'sex' 'hot' 'sex' 'hot' 'bang you' 'shag you' 'sex' 'lovin it' 'sex' 'hot' 'sex' 'hot' 'bang you' 'shag you' 'sex' 'lovin it' "
True Story.