(no subject)
im back from my trip to NY. it was an incredibly emotional weekend. and all i want to do is just sit here. i dont want to do anything or go out and talk to people. i feel so damn lethargic and depressed. all i want to do is go back there
on the whole way home. i found myself just getting so fucking pissed thinking about how far away i live. seriously, who does that? I mean i understood when my dad was in the navy and had to move a lot. but we were always a day or day and a half drive away from family. but why oregon? of all the places in this damn country. tehy seriously choose the state allll the way across the damn country. and not only that. but they have one kid? so they give me no siblings OR family to grow up with...sometimes i just get so mad when i sit down and think about it. its like this whole time they didnt really think about how it would effect me.
i hate going there and feeling like a "guest" and then leavig and saying goodbye. it shouldnt feel like that. it didnt use to feel like that.
it also seems i cant seem to like things that are easy. all my ideas and feelings are so complicated. im just not easy am i?
on the whole way home. i found myself just getting so fucking pissed thinking about how far away i live. seriously, who does that? I mean i understood when my dad was in the navy and had to move a lot. but we were always a day or day and a half drive away from family. but why oregon? of all the places in this damn country. tehy seriously choose the state allll the way across the damn country. and not only that. but they have one kid? so they give me no siblings OR family to grow up with...sometimes i just get so mad when i sit down and think about it. its like this whole time they didnt really think about how it would effect me.
i hate going there and feeling like a "guest" and then leavig and saying goodbye. it shouldnt feel like that. it didnt use to feel like that.
it also seems i cant seem to like things that are easy. all my ideas and feelings are so complicated. im just not easy am i?