F1 Grand Prix
I loathe Formula 1 Grand Prix motor racing with a passion. It's not a mild dislike arising from the terrible waste of the earth's resources just so that a bunch of men can prove to each other how big their penises are, although I do actually believe that. It's an extreme hatred.
I grew up with a woman (my mother) who had a pathological need to control the television and what got shown on it. If she didn't like it, it didn't get shown. I was 18 before I saw an episode of "Top of the Pops", for example, and I have never seen an episode of "Dallas" all the way through. I was 19 before I ever saw a "Carry On" film (and now love them to bits, incidentally).
One thing my mother LOVED to watch (note the capital letters) was Formula 1 motor racing. I have a long-bearing memory of being stuck indoors on a Sunday afternoon, normally because it was raining or because of some other hindrance, being forced to watch lots of engines on wheels going round and round in circles. I just don't see the point in it.
Now I'm living with a man who LOVES Formula 1 motor racing, and when the race is on, nothing else is allowed to happen. In a small house, that's something of a hindrance. Last month my father invited us out to lunch one Sunday and Davyd had to be surgically removed from the television so that we could go. And the afternoon activity of visiting with and spending time with family that I don't often have a chance to do was done on my own, so that Davyd could watch the race before he saw any news.
How did I end up with someone so similar to my mother in televisual tastes? Is it as a result of having being brought up by Lady Telefascist that I now attract people who have a built-in remote control physically attached to their palm? If Davyd is in the house, the television is on. Even if he's spending the day upstairs selling holidays. It's an indicator when I get home that he's there somewhere, hiding in the shadows. If the TV isn't on, Davyd's not there. When the TV IS on, when I get home, I still have to shout just to make sure - he has been known to leave it chattering away to itself while he goes up the shops, as if the cat requires up-to-the-minute information on the latest cricket scores.
And the other problem associated with this is, if there is something that I want to watch that Davyd doesn't like, he will go out of his way to prevent me from watching it. As he works from home, that's very easy for him to do. "Have I Got News For You" and "Time Team" are rare luxuries that, before I met Davyd, I wouldn't miss a single episode of. Nowadays I'm lucky to catch them on rare moments that I have managed to prise the remote control from Davyd's sticky grasp. Apart from showing his obvious dislike of them whenever I flick to them, even if he's doing something else and not even watching the TV, he says "but they're always repeated on UK Gold", ignoring the fact that it's the UK Gold version that I'm putting on because I generally missed the original, and UK Gold will one day stop showing it.
So I spend lots of time on the computer. I have traced my Buckinghamshire ancestors back to 1010AD, I have got my time on minesweeper down to 86 seconds for Expert and my record for the number of games I have completed in a row on Freecell is 46.
Maybe I ought to invest in a TV for the bedroom?
I grew up with a woman (my mother) who had a pathological need to control the television and what got shown on it. If she didn't like it, it didn't get shown. I was 18 before I saw an episode of "Top of the Pops", for example, and I have never seen an episode of "Dallas" all the way through. I was 19 before I ever saw a "Carry On" film (and now love them to bits, incidentally).
One thing my mother LOVED to watch (note the capital letters) was Formula 1 motor racing. I have a long-bearing memory of being stuck indoors on a Sunday afternoon, normally because it was raining or because of some other hindrance, being forced to watch lots of engines on wheels going round and round in circles. I just don't see the point in it.
Now I'm living with a man who LOVES Formula 1 motor racing, and when the race is on, nothing else is allowed to happen. In a small house, that's something of a hindrance. Last month my father invited us out to lunch one Sunday and Davyd had to be surgically removed from the television so that we could go. And the afternoon activity of visiting with and spending time with family that I don't often have a chance to do was done on my own, so that Davyd could watch the race before he saw any news.
How did I end up with someone so similar to my mother in televisual tastes? Is it as a result of having being brought up by Lady Telefascist that I now attract people who have a built-in remote control physically attached to their palm? If Davyd is in the house, the television is on. Even if he's spending the day upstairs selling holidays. It's an indicator when I get home that he's there somewhere, hiding in the shadows. If the TV isn't on, Davyd's not there. When the TV IS on, when I get home, I still have to shout just to make sure - he has been known to leave it chattering away to itself while he goes up the shops, as if the cat requires up-to-the-minute information on the latest cricket scores.
And the other problem associated with this is, if there is something that I want to watch that Davyd doesn't like, he will go out of his way to prevent me from watching it. As he works from home, that's very easy for him to do. "Have I Got News For You" and "Time Team" are rare luxuries that, before I met Davyd, I wouldn't miss a single episode of. Nowadays I'm lucky to catch them on rare moments that I have managed to prise the remote control from Davyd's sticky grasp. Apart from showing his obvious dislike of them whenever I flick to them, even if he's doing something else and not even watching the TV, he says "but they're always repeated on UK Gold", ignoring the fact that it's the UK Gold version that I'm putting on because I generally missed the original, and UK Gold will one day stop showing it.
So I spend lots of time on the computer. I have traced my Buckinghamshire ancestors back to 1010AD, I have got my time on minesweeper down to 86 seconds for Expert and my record for the number of games I have completed in a row on Freecell is 46.
Maybe I ought to invest in a TV for the bedroom?