mmm depressing posts, my favorite....

[francnfrtr]

I was really upset last night. I've never felt so much emotion at one time in my life. I was crying, laughing, angery, upset, and the likes...it was to the point where my whole body was just shaking uncontrolably.
I shouldn't let things build up like this. But I don't know how to talk about them. And I would talk about them with Aaron, since a part of it has to do with him, but I can't bring myself to do it. Another large part of it is just the emotional support I give other people. I try to eleviate their pain by taking it on myself. It's ridiculous. I just need to live for me. Really. I spoke to Aaron about what was partially on my mind and he gave me some good advice I suppose, but I didn't even want to touch on the rest of it.
I just want people to be at the same level as I am, but I think I have only met one other person who is there... and maybe I should talk to you. I know I should talk to you. I want to talk to you.
*sigh*
But I can't bring myself to talk to anyone.
I just feel so.... heh
Maybe that's something I need to figure out.

All I really want to do is to just "be"
I am so tired of all of this bullshit
I want to affirm life
I want to live
I just wish I didn't have to feel so alienated, and maybe we all do.
Self-reflection
I think I know what I'll be doing this weekend...heh