"I won't be far from where you are if ever you should call..."
I clearly don't blog very often, but I was talking to some of the girls here earlier about how good blogging/keeping a journal is to process one's own thoughts, so I thought... "what they hey... "
One advantage to living in college is that heaps of people share their itunes libraries over the network, and you get unlimited listening variety. It's great! Today I've been enjoying Missy Higgins' music.
Her song "Where I Stood" got me a-thinking. I used to listen to that song an aweful lot. It struck a cord with me because when I sang it, the lyrics echoed exactly what my heart was feeling. This would have been 6 or 7 months ago now, and I remember thinking as I listened to it that I couldn't imagine getting beyond how I felt at that moment. I realise I'm speaking in vaguaries, but anyone who went through that time with me knows what I'm talking about. Suffice to say that there comes a point in some relationships (I guess in any kind of relationship) where your identity becomes so tangled in another person, that something has to give - either the relationship or who you are. In my case, I had allowed the other party to so take the place of God to the point where when Missy Higgins sings "I don't know who I am without you, all I know is that I should," it made my heart ache with loss.
The point of my writing that is not to talk about that situation, but how wonderful God has been to me. I hadn't heard that song in so long, that it took me back for a moment to that time and I realise how God was so merciful in not just removing me from that situation completely against what I wanted. I prayed so hard that he wouldn't do what he did, but he knew best, and now not too long later I can see how it really was the best thing he could ever have done for me.
That just blows my mind that he has brought me round so far in such a short space of time. What a gracious God we have!