Once again

Sep 25, 2007 18:52

Well, here we go again. I don't get it. I seriously don't get it. It's like, I can attract people to me somehow, but they lose interest so fucking fast. I really hate it. We started dating about a week ago, a few days more, and I got this bad vibe from her the other night. And I know bad vibes, I can read them pretty well. So after talking to her today and having her act weird as hell and half-ass our cute little rituals, I'm just waiting for the talk. Whatever she wants to say: "I'm not ready for a relationship", "I have too much going on", whatever, I've heard it all before.

I learned from my past mistakes, though. I've made sure not to get to attached to this one. Even if I do like her more than any other girl I've had anything with, and that's no lie. I haven't put everything into it, I've held back to see what happens. And still, it seems I'm just sub-par or some shit. I'm not jumping to conclusions here, I'm just preparing myself is all. If this does go down, I'll be ready for it this time. No fucking high hopes this time, no damn looking into the future. Here and now is it. And if it's over, then all I've lost is here and now.

Of course, I could be wrong about all of this. It could be nothing, or it could be something far more minor, something that can be worked out. But I doubt it. It never has been, so why start now?
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