We Can Survive This - Part 4
Title: We Can Survive This
Rating: PG for this part I think.
Pairing: Addison/Derek.
Spoilers: None AU.
Word Count: 1248
Part 4
Derek Shepherd stood on the doorstep of their brownstone, which had been home for the past thirteen years, wondering what would be the best way to surprise her, just going in or ringing the doorbell and waiting for her to answer. He soon decided on the second option, but stood there a few minutes longer, thinking of everything that had happened, it was hard not to, being here for the first time since that night. He tries to block it out, however as he knows that if they are going to work this out, then he will really have to try and do that. He really did want to give them a proper chance to make things work, and he was going to try his hardest and they were going to talk about things, that was one of their main problems; communication… and they needed to sort that out for things to really work out between them.
He takes a deep breath and reaches out and presses on the doorbell, it rings and about a minute later Addison is answering the door. “That was quick I only just ordered…” she looks up shocked as she sees who is standing there. “Derek!”
“Hey…” She just stares at him for a few more seconds, still in shock that he has really come back.
“Well are you going to let me in then or what?” She snaps out of her trance.
“Yeah, yeah sure.” She tells him before heading into the house, leaving Derek to come in and shut the door behind him. She turns to face him. “Thank you for coming back, Derek. Even if we try and things don’t work out.. That’s not how I wanted things to end between us. That whole night it never should have happened.”
“No it shouldn’t have done… but I’m glad I’m back, that’s not how I wanted us to end either. Not that I want us to end, but if it happened that’s not how I would want things to end between us. I didn’t even give you a chance to talk about what happened. I was too angry, and too upset, but I’m ready to talk now Addie.”
“Ok, I’m ready too. I was ready to talk about it on the night but I’m even more ready now I’ve had time to think about things. Do you want a drink?”
“Erm, yeah I think a drink would be a good thing to have with this conversation. I know that we have a bottle of Scotch…”
“Yeah we do, good idea.” They go to the front room and she gets the bottle of Scotch out of the drinks cabinet and pours them both a very generous measure. She hands one to him and they sit down facing each other.
“I think that you should talk first, and I’ll listen and I’ll try not to interrupt and if I want to ask anything I will after you’ve finished… I think that would work.” He tells her before taking a sip of his Scotch.
“Ok. I can do that.” She pauses and looks at him, she the continues to speak. “So here goes… things haven’t been so great between you and me in the past few years, since Danny died. We were there for each other at first, but then we started to work more and more, I guess we, well I know I did, worked because at least we were nearly always saving a life, even though Danny’s couldn’t be saved, it feels good to save someone else’s life. But then after a while, I really started to miss you, I tried talking to you about it, I planned nights for us to see each other, but you stood me up most of the time and even when you didn’t, you were so indifferent that may as well have not even been there. Mark well he just always seemed to be around and he was great to talk to, a great friend to me. What happened it was never meant to, we didn’t plan it. He came over and I was upset and he was there for me and the next thing I knew, we were kissing, it’s all a bit of a blur. I just didn’t want to hurt anymore. I just wanted it all to disappear. I know it was stupid, I really wasn’t thinking. I’m so sorry Derek, you can’t imagine how much. It meant nothing to me and I still can’t believe I did it. I’m so sorry.” She stops talking and brushes the tears away that are running down her face. She knocks back her drink in one gulp.
“I’m sorry too, Addie. I’m sorry it took this for me to notice you. But in a way maybe I’m sort of glad it happened too. If it hadn’t I’d probably still be ignoring you and I don’t want that. I love you and I should be spending time with you, I want to spend time with you. It really hurt so badly seeing you with him, my wife and my best friend. I felt like my heart had been ripped out of my chest and stamped all over, but realizing how badly I’ve treated you these past few years, that hurts me so much more. I’m so sorry, Addison.” Tears spill over his cheeks and he wipes them with his hand, before knocking his Scotch back.
“I know you are.” She swallows to stop her tears from falling. “I’m so glad your back and I’m glad we talked. We haven’t had a proper conversation in over a year.”
“I know, I really hope we can make this work, Addie I really do. Talking is a good start, I think we should do that at least twice a week, maybe more at first, and marriage counselling and family counselling with Lucy.”
“Yeah, I think all those things are a great idea. Did Lucy know you were coming she went out just before you got her saying she had to go and see a friend.”
“Yes she did. I guess she thought that we needed some time alone to talk about things. But is it ok if I call her now, I’ve really missed her.”
“Yeah sure. I think we’ve talked enough for now.” She smiles at him. “Thanks again for coming home, Derek. I know it’s going to be hard. But nothing worthwhile is ever easy.”
“Yeah you’re so right about that!”
The doorbell rings and Addison goes and gets some money. “That should be my Chinese. I thought it was them when you arrived.”
He laughs slightly and says “Ok then, well I’ll just call Lucy and tell her to come home.”
Addison goes to the door and goes through to the kitchen with her Chinese. “Do you want some? They always give you way too much for just one person to eat.” She calls through to him.
“Yeah sure. I’m starving!” He comes through to the kitchen. “I’ll help you put it out.”
“So what time is Lucy coming back?”
“She said she would be here in about 15 minutes”
“Great! I bet you can’t wait. I’ve had almost a week with her, but you haven’t seen her in a while. Since she went away.”
“Yeah I’ve really missed her. I’m glad that she’s going to Columbia. It will be good to be a family again.”
She smiles at him. “Yes, it really will be!”