Still clinging
Mom has been in Pineview for a week now. Last Friday, she was awake and aware for the first time since Tuesday afternoon.
I had to tell her that there were a multitude of tumors in her brain.
That there was bleeding in her brain that could not be stopped surgically.
And it was me that told her that she no longer had months. And cried with her as she begged me to say it wasn't true.
I could not bring myself to tell her that she would not see my eldest's sweet 16 (November 9th is her birthday). Or dance at my Allie's wedding. Or even see Halloween.
At this point with things, she may still be here for Halloween, but since Tuesday of this week she's been sleeping, alternating her anti-anxiety meds with pain meds, and the occasional anti-seizure med. Oh, and the cortical steroid that's keeping the swelling in her brain down to some degree.
I don't think she's actually eaten anything since Sunday of last week.
I've found myself having stopped praying for her to get better, but instead to just let go. Am I wrong to do that?
I had to tell her that there were a multitude of tumors in her brain.
That there was bleeding in her brain that could not be stopped surgically.
And it was me that told her that she no longer had months. And cried with her as she begged me to say it wasn't true.
I could not bring myself to tell her that she would not see my eldest's sweet 16 (November 9th is her birthday). Or dance at my Allie's wedding. Or even see Halloween.
At this point with things, she may still be here for Halloween, but since Tuesday of this week she's been sleeping, alternating her anti-anxiety meds with pain meds, and the occasional anti-seizure med. Oh, and the cortical steroid that's keeping the swelling in her brain down to some degree.
I don't think she's actually eaten anything since Sunday of last week.
I've found myself having stopped praying for her to get better, but instead to just let go. Am I wrong to do that?