(no subject)
Today I am working until 10 and then doing something...what I'm not exactly quite sure. Then because Im just too frickin cool I am going in to school at like 5:30 to finish up desktop publishing assignments and then going to cardio dance at 9:45. Keep in mind these are A.M. hours!!!! Yes, im psycho. Friday is my day with matt since we hardly EVER get to see each other! At four im going to go to the girls softball game...EVERYONE SHOULD GO! Then i get to wake up early YET again because i work at 5:45 a.m. on Saturday to work until noon. THen al and i are going to lunch and my contact lesson...yes! Sunday is basically devoted to dance. We have to make up the try out routine plus im learning trisha's individual routine from nationals for my try out at st. norberts.
Which brings me to something that has really been bothering me lately....these stupid dance try outs at st. norberts.......
A part of me really really really does NOT want to go down there and try out. Its like...dance has always been something I've loved and enjoyed doing, but theres never been any huge risk involved. And i know this is going against everything i've always said (always do one thing a day that scares you) but dance was something i've always excelled at here. I'm scared to go somewhere and put myself out there and be rejected. I've never been rejected from dance and i'm so scared that this will change that. I know its a stupid analogy (s.p?)but i told Al this and i guess it kinda works so here we go....
Its kind of like when you first realize that you love someone. And your so scared to say something for fear that they dont love you that much back. Its nice to just sit back and dwell in the glory of simply FEELING that way that way you dont have to be scared.
THats how i feel about this. LIke i love dance for what it is not for being on a team or my some how proving it. I dont knwo if this even makes any sense
THe other thing too is that i have NO idea what they're looking for. With pretty much any other sport...If you have the skills you have them...its pretty universal. But with dance....i dunno. THey could be looking for more of a jazz/hip hop based team. THey could be looking for a very technically trained team. Or they could simply be a team that bases off of looks alone. YOu just never know what to expect and thats the scary thing. It's lik eyou walk in there and they pick absolutely every aspect of you apart. I dont know if i want that kind of criticism right now.
Anyway...I was talking to Jake W. about it and he helped to kind of put some things into perspective but....yeah...its still just a very scary situation and I'm not too fond of it! lol
JOHN MAYER
this will all make perfect sense someday
i'll be ok....
this will all maker perfect sense someday
theres got to be a reason for the rain
all my bills have all gotten paid
i shaked the bet, i broke the bet
this could have been a slow song
a laundry list of all the wrongs
but at the end of the day
this is my beautiful disaster piece Ive made
and it goes, and i quote, and i never would lie:
this will all make perfect sense someday
i'll be ok....
this will all maker perfect sense someday
theres got to be a reason for the rain
i don't understand the numbers
but my faith is in the math
and the odds are all that they believe
(inaudible)
and to all the hearts i've broken
and the ones that once broke mine
i've got suspicions all will be forgive in time
all you gotta do is call them up and say:
this will all make perfect sense someday
i'll be ok....
this will all maker perfect sense someday
theres got to be a reason for the rain
and if it ever gets bad, i mean really bad
i'll move to Nova Scotia and forget the life i had
be up at nine each morning down by the shore
collecting things that fell off boats in storms
look here, so i might never but its nice to know the options there
the options there...
this will all make perfect sense someday
i'll be ok....
this will all maker perfect sense someday
theres got to be a reason for the rain
a reason for the rain, a reason for the rain
the reason for the rain, for the rain
and is it a habit i keep biting my lip in the same place
Which brings me to something that has really been bothering me lately....these stupid dance try outs at st. norberts.......
A part of me really really really does NOT want to go down there and try out. Its like...dance has always been something I've loved and enjoyed doing, but theres never been any huge risk involved. And i know this is going against everything i've always said (always do one thing a day that scares you) but dance was something i've always excelled at here. I'm scared to go somewhere and put myself out there and be rejected. I've never been rejected from dance and i'm so scared that this will change that. I know its a stupid analogy (s.p?)but i told Al this and i guess it kinda works so here we go....
Its kind of like when you first realize that you love someone. And your so scared to say something for fear that they dont love you that much back. Its nice to just sit back and dwell in the glory of simply FEELING that way that way you dont have to be scared.
THats how i feel about this. LIke i love dance for what it is not for being on a team or my some how proving it. I dont knwo if this even makes any sense
THe other thing too is that i have NO idea what they're looking for. With pretty much any other sport...If you have the skills you have them...its pretty universal. But with dance....i dunno. THey could be looking for more of a jazz/hip hop based team. THey could be looking for a very technically trained team. Or they could simply be a team that bases off of looks alone. YOu just never know what to expect and thats the scary thing. It's lik eyou walk in there and they pick absolutely every aspect of you apart. I dont know if i want that kind of criticism right now.
Anyway...I was talking to Jake W. about it and he helped to kind of put some things into perspective but....yeah...its still just a very scary situation and I'm not too fond of it! lol
JOHN MAYER
this will all make perfect sense someday
i'll be ok....
this will all maker perfect sense someday
theres got to be a reason for the rain
all my bills have all gotten paid
i shaked the bet, i broke the bet
this could have been a slow song
a laundry list of all the wrongs
but at the end of the day
this is my beautiful disaster piece Ive made
and it goes, and i quote, and i never would lie:
this will all make perfect sense someday
i'll be ok....
this will all maker perfect sense someday
theres got to be a reason for the rain
i don't understand the numbers
but my faith is in the math
and the odds are all that they believe
(inaudible)
and to all the hearts i've broken
and the ones that once broke mine
i've got suspicions all will be forgive in time
all you gotta do is call them up and say:
this will all make perfect sense someday
i'll be ok....
this will all maker perfect sense someday
theres got to be a reason for the rain
and if it ever gets bad, i mean really bad
i'll move to Nova Scotia and forget the life i had
be up at nine each morning down by the shore
collecting things that fell off boats in storms
look here, so i might never but its nice to know the options there
the options there...
this will all make perfect sense someday
i'll be ok....
this will all maker perfect sense someday
theres got to be a reason for the rain
a reason for the rain, a reason for the rain
the reason for the rain, for the rain
and is it a habit i keep biting my lip in the same place