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Comments 16

bsg_aussiegirl May 14 2010, 12:13:22 UTC
Cut and paste the last paragraph here. *still sobbing*

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frakcancer May 14 2010, 12:18:00 UTC
*still sobbing*

Well, it is a water challenge...

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pandj1958 May 14 2010, 18:29:29 UTC
*sniff* This is lovely. Its heartbreaking, but its beautifully heartbreaking.

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aka_plynn May 14 2010, 18:51:33 UTC
Maybe I'm just personalizing this too much, but the line: Something in your body was always waiting for this moment.

really hit me like a truck as someone with a major, major family history of cancer. It does feel inevitable at times, and I've always thought how absolutely unsurprised I'd be, too.

Oh Laura. Bill won't freeze. He'll seethe and churn. Mr. Internalized Emotion. I'm curious: is this the perspective of pre-Epiphanies Laura, or S4 Laura?

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bugsfic May 15 2010, 18:39:37 UTC
Oh Laura. Bill won't freeze. He'll seethe and churn. Mr. Internalized Emotion. I'm curious: is this the perspective of pre-Epiphanies Laura, or S4 Laura?

I think this story really highlights the issue of reading second and first person. It's not the 'truth' it's the character's POV and can be flawed. Which is a fancy way of saying, I love fics that make me think. Laura's view vs my own biased view vs 'reality,' all warring in a couple hundred words.

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aka_plynn May 15 2010, 20:09:55 UTC
Totally. This is a great example, which is why I asked "which" Laura's perspective it was intended to be.

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frakcancer May 15 2010, 21:23:00 UTC
really hit me like a truck as someone with a major, major family history of cancer.

Uh huh. For people with major family histories, sometimes when the diagnosis comes it's more like "OK, the other shoe just dropped" instead of "oh, shit."

I had meant this to be pre-Epiphanies, but there's a lot of S4 Laura in this, though not as much Bill. Maybe after he toughened up in the mutiny? Nah--he's still a squishy.

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lacklusterfic May 15 2010, 01:06:17 UTC
I always come here wanting to tell you exactly how and why your work moves me so deeply, and I can never quite find the right words. This piece is one of your most emotionally compelling because it's so rational, so cold: a paradox?

"Always waiting for this moment": the last repetition of this sentiment really gave me the shivers. It's so Season 4.0 Laura, but as you say, that particular Laura was always there, latent.

Normally I don't like second-person narrative, but I think it works here particularly well. Laura's so coolly analytical, she can separate herself from herself:The crystals of self precipitate out and all that is left is your people. All that was fluid about you is gone, as you will soon be gone.

This piece was a real tour de force; it'll be a while, I think, before I read anything else as beautifully unsettling as this.

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frakcancer May 17 2010, 18:43:42 UTC
This piece is one of your most emotionally compelling because it's so rational, so cold: a paradox?

If it's a paradox, it's the paradox of Laura, the leader so cold and rational she can put aside her own approaching death for her people, can airlock a man without blinking, can kidnap a child, yet who wants suicide bombings to stop, who keeps a slip of paper with the name of her failures.

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redrockcan May 15 2010, 04:14:19 UTC
Wow more wonderful images. Loved many lines but in particular "Your soul is mostly ice" and "A prophet serves, she does not cry." So amazing all the phases that Laura goes through. And I love the last line, to me she had done all she could and was ready for the end. Wonderful use of water in all its forms. Very moving.

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frakcancer May 17 2010, 18:47:28 UTC
In some ways water is a metaphor for how similar yet difference Bill and Laura are. She's met her life tragedies by turning to ice, clear as glass and a solid barrier guarding her core. Bill's turned to water, flowing the paths of least resistance and refusing to change direction once going, wearing away resistance drip by drip until the flood rushes in.

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