(epic) daily dose of bsg
THE MINISERIES!
Starbuck: you suck at cards and sometimes I doubt your commitment to Sparkle Motion!
Tigh: OH NO YOU DIDN'T. BITCH, YOU'RE GOING TO THE BRIG!
Six: I doubt your commitment to Sparkle Motion.
Baby: *dies of shame*
Adama: So humans are being idiots and taking away my awesome battlestar and really, sometimes I doubt their commitment to Sparkle Motion.
crowd: *GASP*
Gaius: OH WHY DIDN'T I DOUBT THIS UNBELIEVABLY BEAUTIFUL WOMAN'S COMMITMENT TO SPARKLE MOTION? WHY MUST I ALWAYS THINK WITH MY MASSIVELY HUGE PENIS?!
Roslin: *is awesome*
Doral: Not to be a killjoy or sow the seeds of dissent or anything, but I doubt her commitment to Sparkle Motion.
Adama: Lee, get back here! That is a strange ship and I do not trust the new president's commitment to Sparkle Motion!
Lee: SHE IS FULLY COMMITTED TO SPARKLE MOTION! SHUT UP! I'M NOT GOING BACK WITH YOU, MEANIE!
Roslin: Did the Commander say what I think he just said?
Six: Bad things will happen if God suspects you're not fully committed to Sparkle Motion.
Gaius: Says my invisible dead robot girlfriend. *eyeroll*
Tigh: Lady, I don't care about your fancy title. You're not seeing my boyfriend the Commander and I doubt your commitment to Sparkle Motion.
Roslin: Do I have to choke this bitch?
Lee: Can't we all just be friends? Or at least stop being mean to the hot lady in heels?
Adama: You're a robot!
Leoben: Yeah, but I doubt your commitment to Sparkle Motion.
Leoben: AND THAT IS PUNISHABLE BY DEATH.
Leoben: Mine is an evil laugh!
Adama: Nobody insults my commitment to Sparkle Motion!
Adama: *beats Leoben to death* Look who's not committed now!
Baltar: That guy over there? He is not committed to Sparkle Motion.
Doral: NOOOO! THAT WASN'T ME! I LOOOOVE SPARKLE MOTION! PLEASE BELIEVE ME!
Adama: Madame President, I'm sorry to say that I do not fully believe in your commitment to Sparkle Motion.
Roslin: Well Commander, I have doubts about your commitment to Sparkle Motion myself.
Adama: There's only one way to settle this. Get on this desk and we'll make some babies!
Tigh: So uh, we're in a war and you're one of the few tolerable-looking females left in existence and the Commander told me to make up with you and I guess we should be friends now.
Starbuck: Bitch, you still aren't committed to Sparkle Motion. Now leave so that I can have my masturbatory Adama picture time.
Tigh: Sometimes I doubt my commitment to Sparkle Motion
Cylons: We lost the humans, oh no! What are we going to do now?
Boomer: Don't worry guys, I have well-placed sources that say that the Fleet is not fully committed to Sparkle Motion. We'll find them.
SEASON ONE!
33
Starbuck: Hey bitchface!
Lee: You can't call the CAG a bitchface!
Starbuck: I'm not doing my awesome pilot-y duties! I don't have time to give you CAG lessons! Tell me that you doubt my commitment to Sparkle Motion and shove the stims down my throat!
Lee: *wimps out*
Starbuck: DO IT.
Lee: I DOUBT YOUR COMMITMENT TO SPARKLE MOTION AND I'M GONNA SHOVE THESE STIMS DOWN YOUR THROAT!
Starbuck: Yeah, that failed.
Water
Boomer: wtf?
Boomer: Galen, I'm worried about my commitment to Sparkle Motion!
Chief: NO DON'T SAY THAT!
Bastille Day
Zarek: I doubt this government's commitment to Sparkle Motion and I think I should rule it. So I've taken your awesome aide and some hostages and I'm roughing them up in protest. BWAHAHAHAHA!
Roslin: Oh no you didn't. Commander, send Starbuck over there to kick his ass.
bonus!
Cally: HE SAID HE DOUBTED MY COMMITMENT TO SPARKLE MOTION, SO I BIT HIS FRAKKING EAR OFF!
Act of Contrition
Starbuck: I had doubts about Zak's commitment to Sparkle Motion and I didn't say anything. He died because of me. *sniffle*
Adama: I HATE YOU.
Starbuck *explodes*
You Can't Go Home Again
Adamas: YOU CAN'T SAY THAT WE'RE NOT COMMITTED TO SPARKLE MOTION!
Roslin: I'm not saying that. I'm saying that you're IDIOTS.
Litmus
Inspector: Chief, I doubt your commitment to Sparkle Motion.
Chief: I am totally committed to Sparkle Motion.
Inspector: I seriously doubt the Chief's commitment to Sparkle Motion.
Adama: That's bullshit. The Chief is totally committed.
Inspector: You're making me doubt your commitment too.
Adama: I don't like this tribunal any more. Pack your belongings and go home. You're out. Auf Wiedersehen. See you later, decorator.
Six Degrees of Separation
Six: If you are not fully committed to Sparkle Motion, God will smite you.
Baltar: Pshaw, God. I fart in his general direction.
Other Six: I'M GONNA DESTROY YOUR LIFE.
Baltar: WAIT, WAIT! I REPENT! I'M TOTALLY COMMITTED TO SPARKLE MOTION!
Baltar: Sparkle Motion is AWESOME.
Flesh and Bone
Starbuck: Okay, Cylon. I doubt your commitment to Sparkle Motion.
Leoben: You're pretty. I don't care.
Starbuck: Yeah, well I doubt your God's commitment to Sparkle Motion.
Leoben: NOBODY IS ALLOWED TO SAY THAT ABOUT GOD!
Starbuck: Bitch, if you say your god likes Sparkle Motion so much, I'll just let you drown and see if your god is too busy with Sparkle Motion to care.
Leoben: *drowns*
Leoben: I doubt Adama's commitment to Sparkle Motion.
Roslin: Frak.
Roslin: That cylon is sowing dissent and confusion! He has no commitment to Sparkle Motion! THROW HIM OUT THE AIRLOCK!
Leoben: Kara tried to hold my hand! AIRLOCKS ARE AWESOME!
Tigh Me Up, Tigh Me Down
Roslin: I doubt Ellen's commitment to Sparkle Motion and Adama's commitment to Sparkle Motion and do the frakking blood test already!
Adama: Bitch, I already doubted Ellen's commitment to Sparkle Motion! Now I doubt your commitment too!
Ellen: HEY, I LOVE SPARKLE MOTION.
Tigh: YEAH, SHE TOTALLY DOES.
Ellen: And I suspect both of you, too!
Lee: Can't we all just get along?
Group: NO!
Baltar: These bitches be crazy.
The Hand of God
Lee: Daddy, I'm seriously doubting my commitment to Sparkle Motion right now.
Adama: Don't do that. You'll do fine pilot-y maneuvers. You're my son.
Adama: And if you do happen to fail, use this to light yourself on fire.
Colonial Day
Roslin: We're all not dead! My government is awesome.
Zarek: I doubt her commitment to Sparkle Motion! I want to be Vice President to keep her in line!
Roslin: Sorry random guy that we introduced in this episode and won't ever see again, your commitment to Sparkle Motion just isn't strong enough to win you the Vice Presidency. I'm dropping you.
Roslin: Dr. Baltar, I may have my personal doubts about your commitment, but you look pretty. You're my new VP.
Baltar: Uh, super!
Roslin: I WIN.
Kobol's Last Gleaming Part 1: the opener
Boomer: I'M SO TIRED OF SECRETLY DOUBTING MY COMMITMENT TO SPARKLE MOTION. *SOB*
Kobol's Last Gleaming Part 1: the meaty stuff
Billy: So, uh, Madame President. I might possibly have a few tiny doubts about your commitment to Sparkle Motion, even though I still totally love you more than chocolate and pie and chocolate pie. You're all hopped up on the hallucinogens...
Roslin: Thank you for sharing your wrong opinion, Billy. I still love you. Now go and fetch Starbuck so that I can finish my evil plan.
Billy: Okay. Do you want some water? A hug?
Starbuck: DON'T TELL ME THAT ADAMA IS NOT COMMITTED TO SPARKLE MOTION. He's my surrogate daddy and if you weren't the President, I'd totally slap you for that.
Roslin: I have proof that Commander Adama is not committed to Sparkle Motion. Go ask him.
Starbuck: Heeey, big daddy. When are we going to get to see Sparkle Motion?
Adama: Well, it's a complex problem with no definite timeframe and secret and blah blah blah don't ask me this again.
Starbuck: YOU LIED TO ME YOU LYING LIAR! *jumps away*
KOBOL'S LAST GLEAMING PART 2
Gaius and his invisible girlfriend!
Six: God loves your commitment to Sparkle Motion, Gaius, so he told me to show you this awesome part of Canada the sacred home of the old Gods.
Six: Look Gaius, it's a baby!
Baltar: Oh, I am so committed to Sparkle Motion right now. I have no more commitment issues.
Baltar: Now we should do it on the nearest horizontal surface. How about this floor? OMNOMNOMNOMNOM.
the crazy babymaking machines!
Not-Boomer: I'm pregnant! I love you!
Helo: Bitch, I doubt your commitment to Sparkle Motion.
Starbuck: I'M GONNA KILL YOU, FAKE NOT-BOOMER!
Helo: WAIT NO, DON'T DO IT! I WAS LYING WHEN I SAID I DOUBTED HER COMMITMENT TO SPARKLE MOTION! I DON'T KNOW HOW IT'S BIOLOGICALLY POSSIBLE, BUT SHE IS CARRYING MY BABY!
soon-to-be-former President Roslin!
Adama: You turned Starbuck against me, crazy fool. I SERIOUSLY DOUBT YOUR COMMITMENT TO SPARKLE MOTION.
Roslin: OH REALLY? COME AND GET ME, BITCH.
Roslin: Frak.
Leland Adama!
Lee: Wait a second, Roslin is way hotter than you. NOW I DOUBT YOUR COMMITMENT TO SPARKLE MOTION! EAT MY METAL!
Tigh: Oh no you didn't.
Lee: How come everybody wants to see me in bondage? At least my biceps look pretty. This SUCKS.
Lee: Daddy noooooooooooooooes!
Boomer
Adama: You're the only pilot I have that I can trust to be fully committed to Sparkle Motion.
Boomer: I won't let you down. I triple super pinky promise with whipped cream.
Basestar: *explodes*
Boomer: Wooo! I'm awesome! I'm awesome! I don't care that there were like 17 of me on that Basestar!
Adama: That was awesome! Come on and give me a hug!
Boomer: Actually, you lose. MY CYLON SIDE DOESN'T CARE ABOUT YOUR PUNY SPARKLE MOTION. *shoots*
Boomer: WAIT, I SHOULDN'T HAVE DONE THAT! Frak, I knew I was right to doubt my commitment to Sparkle Motion!
Adama: Curse your sudden yet inevitable betrayal.
*gurgle*
and one final note from the management
Billy will never ever doubt your commitment to Sparkle Motion, because Billy loves you. Unless you're a traitor, and then Billy will not hesitate to report your traitorious ass.
Starbuck: you suck at cards and sometimes I doubt your commitment to Sparkle Motion!
Tigh: OH NO YOU DIDN'T. BITCH, YOU'RE GOING TO THE BRIG!
Six: I doubt your commitment to Sparkle Motion.
Baby: *dies of shame*
Adama: So humans are being idiots and taking away my awesome battlestar and really, sometimes I doubt their commitment to Sparkle Motion.
crowd: *GASP*
Gaius: OH WHY DIDN'T I DOUBT THIS UNBELIEVABLY BEAUTIFUL WOMAN'S COMMITMENT TO SPARKLE MOTION? WHY MUST I ALWAYS THINK WITH MY MASSIVELY HUGE PENIS?!
Roslin: *is awesome*
Doral: Not to be a killjoy or sow the seeds of dissent or anything, but I doubt her commitment to Sparkle Motion.
Adama: Lee, get back here! That is a strange ship and I do not trust the new president's commitment to Sparkle Motion!
Lee: SHE IS FULLY COMMITTED TO SPARKLE MOTION! SHUT UP! I'M NOT GOING BACK WITH YOU, MEANIE!
Roslin: Did the Commander say what I think he just said?
Six: Bad things will happen if God suspects you're not fully committed to Sparkle Motion.
Gaius: Says my invisible dead robot girlfriend. *eyeroll*
Tigh: Lady, I don't care about your fancy title. You're not seeing my boyfriend the Commander and I doubt your commitment to Sparkle Motion.
Roslin: Do I have to choke this bitch?
Lee: Can't we all just be friends? Or at least stop being mean to the hot lady in heels?
Adama: You're a robot!
Leoben: Yeah, but I doubt your commitment to Sparkle Motion.
Leoben: AND THAT IS PUNISHABLE BY DEATH.
Leoben: Mine is an evil laugh!
Adama: Nobody insults my commitment to Sparkle Motion!
Adama: *beats Leoben to death* Look who's not committed now!
Baltar: That guy over there? He is not committed to Sparkle Motion.
Doral: NOOOO! THAT WASN'T ME! I LOOOOVE SPARKLE MOTION! PLEASE BELIEVE ME!
Adama: Madame President, I'm sorry to say that I do not fully believe in your commitment to Sparkle Motion.
Roslin: Well Commander, I have doubts about your commitment to Sparkle Motion myself.
Adama: There's only one way to settle this. Get on this desk and we'll make some babies!
Tigh: So uh, we're in a war and you're one of the few tolerable-looking females left in existence and the Commander told me to make up with you and I guess we should be friends now.
Starbuck: Bitch, you still aren't committed to Sparkle Motion. Now leave so that I can have my masturbatory Adama picture time.
Tigh: Sometimes I doubt my commitment to Sparkle Motion
Cylons: We lost the humans, oh no! What are we going to do now?
Boomer: Don't worry guys, I have well-placed sources that say that the Fleet is not fully committed to Sparkle Motion. We'll find them.
SEASON ONE!
33
Starbuck: Hey bitchface!
Lee: You can't call the CAG a bitchface!
Starbuck: I'm not doing my awesome pilot-y duties! I don't have time to give you CAG lessons! Tell me that you doubt my commitment to Sparkle Motion and shove the stims down my throat!
Lee: *wimps out*
Starbuck: DO IT.
Lee: I DOUBT YOUR COMMITMENT TO SPARKLE MOTION AND I'M GONNA SHOVE THESE STIMS DOWN YOUR THROAT!
Starbuck: Yeah, that failed.
Water
Boomer: wtf?
Boomer: Galen, I'm worried about my commitment to Sparkle Motion!
Chief: NO DON'T SAY THAT!
Bastille Day
Zarek: I doubt this government's commitment to Sparkle Motion and I think I should rule it. So I've taken your awesome aide and some hostages and I'm roughing them up in protest. BWAHAHAHAHA!
Roslin: Oh no you didn't. Commander, send Starbuck over there to kick his ass.
bonus!
Cally: HE SAID HE DOUBTED MY COMMITMENT TO SPARKLE MOTION, SO I BIT HIS FRAKKING EAR OFF!
Act of Contrition
Starbuck: I had doubts about Zak's commitment to Sparkle Motion and I didn't say anything. He died because of me. *sniffle*
Adama: I HATE YOU.
Starbuck *explodes*
You Can't Go Home Again
Adamas: YOU CAN'T SAY THAT WE'RE NOT COMMITTED TO SPARKLE MOTION!
Roslin: I'm not saying that. I'm saying that you're IDIOTS.
Litmus
Inspector: Chief, I doubt your commitment to Sparkle Motion.
Chief: I am totally committed to Sparkle Motion.
Inspector: I seriously doubt the Chief's commitment to Sparkle Motion.
Adama: That's bullshit. The Chief is totally committed.
Inspector: You're making me doubt your commitment too.
Adama: I don't like this tribunal any more. Pack your belongings and go home. You're out. Auf Wiedersehen. See you later, decorator.
Six Degrees of Separation
Six: If you are not fully committed to Sparkle Motion, God will smite you.
Baltar: Pshaw, God. I fart in his general direction.
Other Six: I'M GONNA DESTROY YOUR LIFE.
Baltar: WAIT, WAIT! I REPENT! I'M TOTALLY COMMITTED TO SPARKLE MOTION!
Baltar: Sparkle Motion is AWESOME.
Flesh and Bone
Starbuck: Okay, Cylon. I doubt your commitment to Sparkle Motion.
Leoben: You're pretty. I don't care.
Starbuck: Yeah, well I doubt your God's commitment to Sparkle Motion.
Leoben: NOBODY IS ALLOWED TO SAY THAT ABOUT GOD!
Starbuck: Bitch, if you say your god likes Sparkle Motion so much, I'll just let you drown and see if your god is too busy with Sparkle Motion to care.
Leoben: *drowns*
Leoben: I doubt Adama's commitment to Sparkle Motion.
Roslin: Frak.
Roslin: That cylon is sowing dissent and confusion! He has no commitment to Sparkle Motion! THROW HIM OUT THE AIRLOCK!
Leoben: Kara tried to hold my hand! AIRLOCKS ARE AWESOME!
Tigh Me Up, Tigh Me Down
Roslin: I doubt Ellen's commitment to Sparkle Motion and Adama's commitment to Sparkle Motion and do the frakking blood test already!
Adama: Bitch, I already doubted Ellen's commitment to Sparkle Motion! Now I doubt your commitment too!
Ellen: HEY, I LOVE SPARKLE MOTION.
Tigh: YEAH, SHE TOTALLY DOES.
Ellen: And I suspect both of you, too!
Lee: Can't we all just get along?
Group: NO!
Baltar: These bitches be crazy.
The Hand of God
Lee: Daddy, I'm seriously doubting my commitment to Sparkle Motion right now.
Adama: Don't do that. You'll do fine pilot-y maneuvers. You're my son.
Adama: And if you do happen to fail, use this to light yourself on fire.
Colonial Day
Roslin: We're all not dead! My government is awesome.
Zarek: I doubt her commitment to Sparkle Motion! I want to be Vice President to keep her in line!
Roslin: Sorry random guy that we introduced in this episode and won't ever see again, your commitment to Sparkle Motion just isn't strong enough to win you the Vice Presidency. I'm dropping you.
Roslin: Dr. Baltar, I may have my personal doubts about your commitment, but you look pretty. You're my new VP.
Baltar: Uh, super!
Roslin: I WIN.
Kobol's Last Gleaming Part 1: the opener
Boomer: I'M SO TIRED OF SECRETLY DOUBTING MY COMMITMENT TO SPARKLE MOTION. *SOB*
Kobol's Last Gleaming Part 1: the meaty stuff
Billy: So, uh, Madame President. I might possibly have a few tiny doubts about your commitment to Sparkle Motion, even though I still totally love you more than chocolate and pie and chocolate pie. You're all hopped up on the hallucinogens...
Roslin: Thank you for sharing your wrong opinion, Billy. I still love you. Now go and fetch Starbuck so that I can finish my evil plan.
Billy: Okay. Do you want some water? A hug?
Starbuck: DON'T TELL ME THAT ADAMA IS NOT COMMITTED TO SPARKLE MOTION. He's my surrogate daddy and if you weren't the President, I'd totally slap you for that.
Roslin: I have proof that Commander Adama is not committed to Sparkle Motion. Go ask him.
Starbuck: Heeey, big daddy. When are we going to get to see Sparkle Motion?
Adama: Well, it's a complex problem with no definite timeframe and secret and blah blah blah don't ask me this again.
Starbuck: YOU LIED TO ME YOU LYING LIAR! *jumps away*
KOBOL'S LAST GLEAMING PART 2
Gaius and his invisible girlfriend!
Six: God loves your commitment to Sparkle Motion, Gaius, so he told me to show you this awesome part of Canada the sacred home of the old Gods.
Six: Look Gaius, it's a baby!
Baltar: Oh, I am so committed to Sparkle Motion right now. I have no more commitment issues.
Baltar: Now we should do it on the nearest horizontal surface. How about this floor? OMNOMNOMNOMNOM.
the crazy babymaking machines!
Not-Boomer: I'm pregnant! I love you!
Helo: Bitch, I doubt your commitment to Sparkle Motion.
Starbuck: I'M GONNA KILL YOU, FAKE NOT-BOOMER!
Helo: WAIT NO, DON'T DO IT! I WAS LYING WHEN I SAID I DOUBTED HER COMMITMENT TO SPARKLE MOTION! I DON'T KNOW HOW IT'S BIOLOGICALLY POSSIBLE, BUT SHE IS CARRYING MY BABY!
soon-to-be-former President Roslin!
Adama: You turned Starbuck against me, crazy fool. I SERIOUSLY DOUBT YOUR COMMITMENT TO SPARKLE MOTION.
Roslin: OH REALLY? COME AND GET ME, BITCH.
Roslin: Frak.
Leland Adama!
Lee: Wait a second, Roslin is way hotter than you. NOW I DOUBT YOUR COMMITMENT TO SPARKLE MOTION! EAT MY METAL!
Tigh: Oh no you didn't.
Lee: How come everybody wants to see me in bondage? At least my biceps look pretty. This SUCKS.
Lee: Daddy noooooooooooooooes!
Boomer
Adama: You're the only pilot I have that I can trust to be fully committed to Sparkle Motion.
Boomer: I won't let you down. I triple super pinky promise with whipped cream.
Basestar: *explodes*
Boomer: Wooo! I'm awesome! I'm awesome! I don't care that there were like 17 of me on that Basestar!
Adama: That was awesome! Come on and give me a hug!
Boomer: Actually, you lose. MY CYLON SIDE DOESN'T CARE ABOUT YOUR PUNY SPARKLE MOTION. *shoots*
Boomer: WAIT, I SHOULDN'T HAVE DONE THAT! Frak, I knew I was right to doubt my commitment to Sparkle Motion!
Adama: Curse your sudden yet inevitable betrayal.
*gurgle*
and one final note from the management
Billy will never ever doubt your commitment to Sparkle Motion, because Billy loves you. Unless you're a traitor, and then Billy will not hesitate to report your traitorious ass.