(no subject)
Been a while since my last entry. Sorry about that. All of you know how things can be in the rough and tumble life of a high school teacher. I have dragged many, kicking and screaming, into the home stretch for their primary education. The claw marks on my arms are badges of courage, both for myself and for the young people who had the audacity to fight the system which has held them for so long.
I was taking a walk through the city three days ago when it occurred to me that I would enjoy having a cup of coffee. Bereft of other options within a reasonable distance, I stopped inside of a Starbucks.
I ordered my coffee and waited as the barista prepared my drink, not noticing when another man came in behind me. I stepped to the side so that he could place his own order, but when I looked up I noticed he was wearing a foam rubber JFK mask and had a very large bulge in his hoodie's right pocket. If he didn't have a gun, he was doing a good job faking it.
"Hey," I said to him, "are you trying to rob a coffee shop?"
The barista heard me say that, turned around, and froze stock still. The guy ignored me, but he proceeded to pull out his gun and gesticulate wildly, demanding that the cash register be opened and emptied. A real class act.
I noticed the barista had my order, so I asked her "How much is normal for a tip in this hell hole?"
The guy wheels on me, and shoves the barrel of his pistol up against my visor. Let me tell you: it's something everyone should experience at least once. Looking down the end of that barrel is like seeing the whole world condensed into steel and poured into the shape of death, a marvelous thing to be mulled over later. Really makes you feel alive, so long as you aren't dead.
He started to say something, but I don't remember what. "What," I asked, "you going to shoot me just so you can rob a coffee shop, Mr. Thief? Big man you are."
This was a mistake, and I could see it in the tensing of his wrist, but disaster was averted when the barista bashed him in the head with a coffee mug the size of my head and thick enough to be used for armor plating. He went down like a sack of wet grinds.
I stayed long enough to buy the novelty mug from her. Got it cheap, since it was chipped. I made this entry to tell you about this mug.
Who wants to bet I can't drink a gallon of coffee in an hour?
I was taking a walk through the city three days ago when it occurred to me that I would enjoy having a cup of coffee. Bereft of other options within a reasonable distance, I stopped inside of a Starbucks.
I ordered my coffee and waited as the barista prepared my drink, not noticing when another man came in behind me. I stepped to the side so that he could place his own order, but when I looked up I noticed he was wearing a foam rubber JFK mask and had a very large bulge in his hoodie's right pocket. If he didn't have a gun, he was doing a good job faking it.
"Hey," I said to him, "are you trying to rob a coffee shop?"
The barista heard me say that, turned around, and froze stock still. The guy ignored me, but he proceeded to pull out his gun and gesticulate wildly, demanding that the cash register be opened and emptied. A real class act.
I noticed the barista had my order, so I asked her "How much is normal for a tip in this hell hole?"
The guy wheels on me, and shoves the barrel of his pistol up against my visor. Let me tell you: it's something everyone should experience at least once. Looking down the end of that barrel is like seeing the whole world condensed into steel and poured into the shape of death, a marvelous thing to be mulled over later. Really makes you feel alive, so long as you aren't dead.
He started to say something, but I don't remember what. "What," I asked, "you going to shoot me just so you can rob a coffee shop, Mr. Thief? Big man you are."
This was a mistake, and I could see it in the tensing of his wrist, but disaster was averted when the barista bashed him in the head with a coffee mug the size of my head and thick enough to be used for armor plating. He went down like a sack of wet grinds.
I stayed long enough to buy the novelty mug from her. Got it cheap, since it was chipped. I made this entry to tell you about this mug.
Who wants to bet I can't drink a gallon of coffee in an hour?