mhm relate to me.
okay have you ever felt like you never could say no? like i just found out today how hard it was to say no to someone you like/ love so much. Or, just to someone who is a idol to you. That you can say no JUST NOT to them you know? even though you know that what they are doing or what you're doing is bad. But you think hell this person loves me they wound't ever want to hurt me or get me in trouble with drugs or whatever. They just want to have fun. And, that's what scares me... i think that. That they are so much a idol to you that you are so blind to see that WHAT they are doing is wrong and bad. And, you would say yes to the bad things just to get them closer to you. That, it's the only way from them to like you. Or, you're afraid that they might find someone cooler and replace you. Well, these are my exact thoughts stupid i know. But presure does get the best of me alot. but can any of you relate or come close? :/ i'm sure you can.
And i've also noticed about how scared i am of sexual parts of relationships. That i will have to make out all the time for someone to keep me. I for real do not want to. I am going to talk to my counselor about it for my past experiences and really going edgy on me and they are effecting my relationships. I get so scared when a guy talks dirty to me. But, then i think he is my bf he is suppose to do that gwen you idiot. So, is he suppose to make me uncomfortable? I just want to feel safe in my skin and with him. I try to tell a guy of my experience so maybe they will understand to not presure me with sex. For some people, it may be hard to keep thier virginity but for me i'm scared to even give it away it's a never-ending battle. I don't want a relationship to e the cooking brownie mom that loves to have sex. I want to have a EMOTIONAL connection to know someone loves me. Not 'i love you' lets go screw gwen. I'm not trying to make fun of ANYONE relationship and how it works i'm just stating that..thats not my type of relationship. Maybe, it's also the fact that i'm scared of growing up and where it may take me. OR WHAT IF? i do get so physically connected that i can't stop myself and I get pregnant?? For i'm not dumb i relieze i'm rather built in the chest and alittle skinny somewhat and i can get alot of guys. Guys, that some of my friends dream of getting. I just want a guy who IS attractive BUT not physically hormonal ALL the time. I find so much cute guys that just..have sex sex sex on the brain. Oh yeah i hear people say 'oh well, girls have the controlling part of the relationship. THAT is not always true for me it's usually the guy who controls and I deal. I hate being bossy so yeaaaaaaaah.. anyways plz don't mind my rant.
all i ask for is geniune help and just relating or to get your same issues out on here like me. ^_^ i love you all.
OH AND PS: thanks for ALL the support you guys been giving me..i appreciate it SO much. < 33
And i've also noticed about how scared i am of sexual parts of relationships. That i will have to make out all the time for someone to keep me. I for real do not want to. I am going to talk to my counselor about it for my past experiences and really going edgy on me and they are effecting my relationships. I get so scared when a guy talks dirty to me. But, then i think he is my bf he is suppose to do that gwen you idiot. So, is he suppose to make me uncomfortable? I just want to feel safe in my skin and with him. I try to tell a guy of my experience so maybe they will understand to not presure me with sex. For some people, it may be hard to keep thier virginity but for me i'm scared to even give it away it's a never-ending battle. I don't want a relationship to e the cooking brownie mom that loves to have sex. I want to have a EMOTIONAL connection to know someone loves me. Not 'i love you' lets go screw gwen. I'm not trying to make fun of ANYONE relationship and how it works i'm just stating that..thats not my type of relationship. Maybe, it's also the fact that i'm scared of growing up and where it may take me. OR WHAT IF? i do get so physically connected that i can't stop myself and I get pregnant?? For i'm not dumb i relieze i'm rather built in the chest and alittle skinny somewhat and i can get alot of guys. Guys, that some of my friends dream of getting. I just want a guy who IS attractive BUT not physically hormonal ALL the time. I find so much cute guys that just..have sex sex sex on the brain. Oh yeah i hear people say 'oh well, girls have the controlling part of the relationship. THAT is not always true for me it's usually the guy who controls and I deal. I hate being bossy so yeaaaaaaaah.. anyways plz don't mind my rant.
all i ask for is geniune help and just relating or to get your same issues out on here like me. ^_^ i love you all.
OH AND PS: thanks for ALL the support you guys been giving me..i appreciate it SO much. < 33