(no subject)
Wow... It has been almost two months I think since my last entry...
Hm...this summer has been... How to say... horrible haha. It is worst than last summer. It has had very few good times and too many bad times. We got the news about my grandma towards the middle of june. "She has cancer. She has anywhere from two weeks to two months to live." That's what was said... I thought... no way it's my grandma she is too tough to go that fast, that's impossible... second day... she could barely walk. First week...she was in so much pain. Second week...she needs a walker, someone to feed, bathe, dress, and help get her up and into bed. My mom and dad are working, my sister works, my aunt and uncle work, my grandpa works, danny is too young, so... Kristyn and I did it. We stayed there for... three weeks. It was the end her first month two days ago... she is in Hospice and barely hanging on. She doesn't eat, drink. She cant open her eyes, but she can hear us. So... I have been gone all summer. I have always delt with my friends grandparents passing away never mine, it has never effect me to the crying level or the depressed level or the angry level. My other grandma passes away in April and it sucked, yeah I cried but not as much as now because I never got to see her because we moved to AZ I miss her but this grandma...she means everything to me, I see her all the time, I always have. I can't imagine life without someone that has always been around. What about Christmas and Easter; those two holidays are centered around her because they are her favorite. I just can't stop thinking about what I'm supposed to do after she leaves. I have seen my friends maybe... three times this whole summer so I cannot wait until school starts. Im not even thinking about summer reading I haven't started don't have time, haven't thought about the volunteer shit, don't care. I'm just excited to be in school around everyone doing homework, class work, anything to keep my mind constantly doing something else so there is no room to think about her. Ugh... I don't know. I hate not being able to see or talk to certain people because when stuff like this happens your friends are the ones you go to I haven't been able to because I have been so busy with my grandma.
So... I have these next two weeks off but I have spent the entire weekend and last two days packing........ I hate packing!!!!!!!!!!! I love unpacking because then you can re-arrange things the way you want and kind of start all over. Like... if your room was set up one way and you had memories that you kind of want to get past... then re-arranging your room allows you to start all over again haha. Then you can kind of clean out old stuff , get rid of old pictures, notes, anything. I love unpacking but I had packing and load ugh it sucks, not to mention it's like a million degrees outside so running back and forth outside with heavy boxes, beds, dressers, yeah it sucks. Hm... I'm so excited for school haha, I didn't think I would ever say that but I can't wait. Okay... So... I looked at the ASA website and it says school starts August 10th but then some people are saying it starts the 13th they just didn't change it on the website which makes no sense to me haha so... if someone that actually knows could tell me that would be great because I don't wanna not show up for the first day of school. Sweet thanks. Hope everyone has had a great summer!!!!!
Hm...this summer has been... How to say... horrible haha. It is worst than last summer. It has had very few good times and too many bad times. We got the news about my grandma towards the middle of june. "She has cancer. She has anywhere from two weeks to two months to live." That's what was said... I thought... no way it's my grandma she is too tough to go that fast, that's impossible... second day... she could barely walk. First week...she was in so much pain. Second week...she needs a walker, someone to feed, bathe, dress, and help get her up and into bed. My mom and dad are working, my sister works, my aunt and uncle work, my grandpa works, danny is too young, so... Kristyn and I did it. We stayed there for... three weeks. It was the end her first month two days ago... she is in Hospice and barely hanging on. She doesn't eat, drink. She cant open her eyes, but she can hear us. So... I have been gone all summer. I have always delt with my friends grandparents passing away never mine, it has never effect me to the crying level or the depressed level or the angry level. My other grandma passes away in April and it sucked, yeah I cried but not as much as now because I never got to see her because we moved to AZ I miss her but this grandma...she means everything to me, I see her all the time, I always have. I can't imagine life without someone that has always been around. What about Christmas and Easter; those two holidays are centered around her because they are her favorite. I just can't stop thinking about what I'm supposed to do after she leaves. I have seen my friends maybe... three times this whole summer so I cannot wait until school starts. Im not even thinking about summer reading I haven't started don't have time, haven't thought about the volunteer shit, don't care. I'm just excited to be in school around everyone doing homework, class work, anything to keep my mind constantly doing something else so there is no room to think about her. Ugh... I don't know. I hate not being able to see or talk to certain people because when stuff like this happens your friends are the ones you go to I haven't been able to because I have been so busy with my grandma.
So... I have these next two weeks off but I have spent the entire weekend and last two days packing........ I hate packing!!!!!!!!!!! I love unpacking because then you can re-arrange things the way you want and kind of start all over. Like... if your room was set up one way and you had memories that you kind of want to get past... then re-arranging your room allows you to start all over again haha. Then you can kind of clean out old stuff , get rid of old pictures, notes, anything. I love unpacking but I had packing and load ugh it sucks, not to mention it's like a million degrees outside so running back and forth outside with heavy boxes, beds, dressers, yeah it sucks. Hm... I'm so excited for school haha, I didn't think I would ever say that but I can't wait. Okay... So... I looked at the ASA website and it says school starts August 10th but then some people are saying it starts the 13th they just didn't change it on the website which makes no sense to me haha so... if someone that actually knows could tell me that would be great because I don't wanna not show up for the first day of school. Sweet thanks. Hope everyone has had a great summer!!!!!