Better...Still hard tho...
It's Sunday again! Yuck...oh well...truthfully I have been doing much better. I have been handling the Sunday-Tue thing much better. I did get to talk to him earlier today for a total of like 25 minutes so I am pretty good...I have been trying...I have been trying so hard not to keep the negative in about his dad...because it is not going to do me any good to keep it in what so ever...but yet it is still hard...no one says it isnt going to be hard and that its not going to hurt, I just have to learn not to let it bother me...which I have been doing...I have had a pretty good day tho...
I still do miss him though...I still wish I was able to call him for once and be like.."Hey sweetie. What'cha doin'?" but no. He has to sneak a call when his dad is sleeping or he has to wait till he is in bed and he has to be all quiet in case of his dad waking up and we can only say what we have to first then we can chat...just sucks...
I keep having nightmares about his dad though...I had one the other night that his dad was sleeping and I was over there and I was trying to leave but his dad came out and he was hurting Jed really bad...just I am so scared of this guy, I just now have been starting to realize how much power this guy has over us and he doesnt even know it.
Tomorrow is our 11th month anniversary and I dont even get to see him cause he's home. Its not so much the fact of not seeing him, it's just I CANT call him to say "Happy Anniversary." I have to wait for him to call, IF he even calls. :( It shouldnt be this way...
But I am VERY happy for what I do have with him and if I have to wait till we both turn 18 for us to be on our own, which is a little over a year away, then I am willing to wait! It will be worth the wait in the end!! Im thank god that I do have his as much as I do now...now I just wish I had some help forgetting about December 16th...its still on my mind a lot...:'(
I still do miss him though...I still wish I was able to call him for once and be like.."Hey sweetie. What'cha doin'?" but no. He has to sneak a call when his dad is sleeping or he has to wait till he is in bed and he has to be all quiet in case of his dad waking up and we can only say what we have to first then we can chat...just sucks...
I keep having nightmares about his dad though...I had one the other night that his dad was sleeping and I was over there and I was trying to leave but his dad came out and he was hurting Jed really bad...just I am so scared of this guy, I just now have been starting to realize how much power this guy has over us and he doesnt even know it.
Tomorrow is our 11th month anniversary and I dont even get to see him cause he's home. Its not so much the fact of not seeing him, it's just I CANT call him to say "Happy Anniversary." I have to wait for him to call, IF he even calls. :( It shouldnt be this way...
But I am VERY happy for what I do have with him and if I have to wait till we both turn 18 for us to be on our own, which is a little over a year away, then I am willing to wait! It will be worth the wait in the end!! Im thank god that I do have his as much as I do now...now I just wish I had some help forgetting about December 16th...its still on my mind a lot...:'(