ugh
i hate the smell of funeral homes. Its bad enough that your there to see away someone that ment something to you. And then that smell. and the music. and the crying. and the people. and everything about it just sucks. the lighting is so dark and depressing. everything is. alan being gone is terrible. the thought that i'm never going to physically see him or have conversation with him ever again is mortifying. it was closed casket. i wish it was open so i could see his face again. i'm not one to deal well with death.
Raki is sick. really sick. i just got back from seeing her at the barn. Tal stayed. i couldn't stop crying. i had to leave. i don't think today could get any more depressing. well, i'm sure it could but i hope that it doesn't. you never realize how important things are until you lose them. so from now on i will realize.
my cats with me. shes the best. i love her.
Raki is sick. really sick. i just got back from seeing her at the barn. Tal stayed. i couldn't stop crying. i had to leave. i don't think today could get any more depressing. well, i'm sure it could but i hope that it doesn't. you never realize how important things are until you lose them. so from now on i will realize.
my cats with me. shes the best. i love her.