BAM...
Bleh BAM sucked..well the actual BAM was good but for me it sucked..For me, not To me. >< Grr I thought I had more friends but after tonight I see their true feelings. Of the people that went to BAM didn't I look unhappy? Didnt I look bothered by something? The only person that noticed WAS Ashkan and his was the only Yearbook I was asked to sign and that I did sign. Ya well tonight I feel left out more then I ever did. I also asked people to go watch things with me because I didnt want to be alone but nobody wanted to come with me so I went out all alone feeling like I looked stupid. Grr.. Just makes me mad but what can I do...Oh also another thing that pisses me off..
Whenever I'm attending an event and Tina isnt with me everyone that knows Tina has to ask me "Wheres Tina?". Well after being asked so many fucking times I think her name is spelled Crystal?.. When she asked I just had to give a really bad mean look to her. Grr I was so fucking angry most of the time. Ashkan made attempts to calm me down several times but nobody else even bothered! Grr the thing that pisses me off when people ask if Tina is there is that.. What about me? I'm here! Does it matter whos with me? I'm ALONE anyways!! F....Rr.rrr....!!!!!!!! Grr what made things worst was that I had to stay an extra hour because I couldnt find Derick and spent half an hour walking everywhere looking for him and that got me really tired. My legs hurt a bit right now but whatever who cares. If I lose my legs at least people will start caring..right? On Tuesday when the people came by to honor and remembe the two people who died in the Vietnam War.. I thought that if I died somewhere somehow would people care about me? Would I get a memorial? I bet no because well.. I dont know that many people and the people that I do know dont bother to care too much. Well ya know what Fuck You! Go To Hell! Leave Me Alone! .. And Just Die To Leave Me Be, Leave Me In Peace. You dont want to know how solitude and rejection combined feels like. You dont want to know the pain I felt in one night that I paid for some happiness. The only uppoint to the night was watching the band Kyle was in. Hotel California, Call of Ktulu, Stairway to Heaven. I wish Ron was there. The first and last songs are his favorites. Last year I went with Ron and it was great. This year I went with people who left me alone and it wasnt so great. Bleh.. Leave me along I've cried enough.
Whenever I'm attending an event and Tina isnt with me everyone that knows Tina has to ask me "Wheres Tina?". Well after being asked so many fucking times I think her name is spelled Crystal?.. When she asked I just had to give a really bad mean look to her. Grr I was so fucking angry most of the time. Ashkan made attempts to calm me down several times but nobody else even bothered! Grr the thing that pisses me off when people ask if Tina is there is that.. What about me? I'm here! Does it matter whos with me? I'm ALONE anyways!! F....Rr.rrr....!!!!!!!! Grr what made things worst was that I had to stay an extra hour because I couldnt find Derick and spent half an hour walking everywhere looking for him and that got me really tired. My legs hurt a bit right now but whatever who cares. If I lose my legs at least people will start caring..right? On Tuesday when the people came by to honor and remembe the two people who died in the Vietnam War.. I thought that if I died somewhere somehow would people care about me? Would I get a memorial? I bet no because well.. I dont know that many people and the people that I do know dont bother to care too much. Well ya know what Fuck You! Go To Hell! Leave Me Alone! .. And Just Die To Leave Me Be, Leave Me In Peace. You dont want to know how solitude and rejection combined feels like. You dont want to know the pain I felt in one night that I paid for some happiness. The only uppoint to the night was watching the band Kyle was in. Hotel California, Call of Ktulu, Stairway to Heaven. I wish Ron was there. The first and last songs are his favorites. Last year I went with Ron and it was great. This year I went with people who left me alone and it wasnt so great. Bleh.. Leave me along I've cried enough.