Why don't you just tell them you got the world's best blowjob and got tricked into marriage. It would almost sound better, you know.
Want two off your list? Technically Pleasance was my middle name. My birth name was Alice Pleasance Liddel. My mum and dad dropped the Liddel and went with Pleasance when we moved to the States to try and leave behind the publicity.
...I could edit to say that if you'd like. Because damn. DAMN. I think I even passed out. You're the best wife ever.
Oh really? I like Pleasance as your last name though. Hey, I have those name change papers. I figure if you're going to hyphenate, it's only far I do so too. Or I could just take yours. I really don't have any sentimental value to my name.
You're really going to change your name? See, this is why I adore you so much. Pleasance-Beachum? I would say Liddel but then I have to assure you there's nothing little about you, though your pinky toe is awfully tiny. Like miniscule. Damn evolution.
Also, my wedding band is currently gray green but I don't know what that means.
And my toes are adorable aren't they? Pleasance-Beachum is fine by me. Because heh you'll be APB. Seriously. That will never grow old. Here, I'm passing you the papers right now, wife of mine, because you are laying next to me, in nothing but a towel. Damn. Have I mentioned how hot you are?
Sign those, I filled them out already. I can have it processed Monday, and all the appropriate documentation will be re-sent to you.
Only the best for you! And you just have to worry about Pepper...have you heard of her, Pepper Potts? She's terrifying I think. I don't know. It's what people tell me. I think she's hilarious.
Nah. Although if I did get you arrested, I know the name of a great prosecutor..wait, that wouldn't help you at all. Sorry babe, SOL.
Nicknames ARE hard. It takes a while to think of ones..but no old man. I'm only..10 years older than you. That's nothing. Just a decade. God.
Honey, there are so many blonde hair, blue eyed, pale chicks down there. Lots of German descent. And Japanese. Did you know it's the largest Japanese population outside of Japan? We'll have to go one day.
Want two off your list? Technically Pleasance was my middle name. My birth name was Alice Pleasance Liddel. My mum and dad dropped the Liddel and went with Pleasance when we moved to the States to try and leave behind the publicity.
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Oh really? I like Pleasance as your last name though. Hey, I have those name change papers. I figure if you're going to hyphenate, it's only far I do so too. Or I could just take yours. I really don't have any sentimental value to my name.
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You're really going to change your name? See, this is why I adore you so much. Pleasance-Beachum? I would say Liddel but then I have to assure you there's nothing little about you, though your pinky toe is awfully tiny. Like miniscule. Damn evolution.
Also, my wedding band is currently gray green but I don't know what that means.
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And my toes are adorable aren't they? Pleasance-Beachum is fine by me. Because heh you'll be APB. Seriously. That will never grow old. Here, I'm passing you the papers right now, wife of mine, because you are laying next to me, in nothing but a towel. Damn. Have I mentioned how hot you are?
Sign those, I filled them out already. I can have it processed Monday, and all the appropriate documentation will be re-sent to you.
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So long as you don't actually have me arrested, I can live with it. You wouldn't, would you?
You know, I was trying to play off how geeky this was with us both right here and online. Way to ruin that, Sexy.
Hmmm? Sexy? Pumpkin? Old man? Nicknames are hard.
Do I have to sign in blood?
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Nah. Although if I did get you arrested, I know the name of a great prosecutor..wait, that wouldn't help you at all. Sorry babe, SOL.
Nicknames ARE hard. It takes a while to think of ones..but no old man. I'm only..10 years older than you. That's nothing. Just a decade. God.
..no? But if you want, you can. That'd be hot.
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I have heard of her. I am going to hide now.
You would so have me thrown in jail and pray for a prison movie scenario. Wet prison chicks chained to one another. Admit it.
A. Decade. Cradlerobberr. Better than a grave robber.
You would think so. Perv.
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Heh. It's all good. As long as you can win Tony to your side, she'll be easy.
And I would like to see that. We can start now, the shower looks big enough..
No cradlerobber. No robber of anything. Still thinking of a name for you.
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You sure? How do I win over him?
Got cuffs?
Alice? I like how you say it.
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Put him in your gay superhero movie and give him all merchandising rights. The man loves his name. Seriously.
I can get some.
A-lee-seh... I figure millions of Brazilians can't be wrong!
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It's not just a gay superhero movie. It's based on the life of two amazing men that I met.
Except the part where I'm pale and blonde with blue eyes.
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Oh, fair enough. Well, still. He wants in.
Honey, there are so many blonde hair, blue eyed, pale chicks down there. Lots of German descent. And Japanese. Did you know it's the largest Japanese population outside of Japan? We'll have to go one day.
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Good. He should help fund me.
Do remember I spent most of my life in America and never left the borders.
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He probably would. He's got the money. If not him, maybe Pepsi.
Oh right. I guess we have some travelling to do. Thank god I have joint custody of one of Starky's jets.
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