wow
haven't been on here in ages. started reading back thru old stuff & realized that i've changed since this journal began - w/ out even realizing it. it's crazy that person can change w/ out seeing the changes but it happens.
tonite
i
sit
here
passing
time
not
eating
:)
it's a hobby. gotta have sumthin to do, right? i'm running low on tums so i gtg buy sum more asap.
i'm trying to quit binging & purging on my own. i know i shud tell my dr & get his help but i honestly don't feel like i'm able to trust him so's i'm gonna do this own my own. i realized a couple weeks ago that i've been binging and purging off and on for five years. what started as a JUST THIS ONE TIME thing just went on & on & on & on! i kept making excuses to do it JUST ONE MORE TIME which would always lead to ANOTHER - i don't know if i've damaged my heart, but i do know my stomach, throat, & teeth are fuxked from it - & i think my dr suspects something cuz he grabbed my hands to inspect my knuckles last time i was there. my dentist is definitely suspecting & coming just short of calling me out. either way i'm wanting to stop cuz it was just meant to cope with the binging but it didn't work. i'll stick w/ si plz.
tonite
i
sit
here
passing
time
not
eating
:)
it's a hobby. gotta have sumthin to do, right? i'm running low on tums so i gtg buy sum more asap.
i'm trying to quit binging & purging on my own. i know i shud tell my dr & get his help but i honestly don't feel like i'm able to trust him so's i'm gonna do this own my own. i realized a couple weeks ago that i've been binging and purging off and on for five years. what started as a JUST THIS ONE TIME thing just went on & on & on & on! i kept making excuses to do it JUST ONE MORE TIME which would always lead to ANOTHER - i don't know if i've damaged my heart, but i do know my stomach, throat, & teeth are fuxked from it - & i think my dr suspects something cuz he grabbed my hands to inspect my knuckles last time i was there. my dentist is definitely suspecting & coming just short of calling me out. either way i'm wanting to stop cuz it was just meant to cope with the binging but it didn't work. i'll stick w/ si plz.