Re: I guess you bastards practice crowd psychologypnyby23September 2 2008, 19:36:18 UTC
This is not "crowd psychology" and do you mean group mentality? Yes you do.
Look, Nicky, it's what you do to the English language. You molest it, you touch it in ways that a frat boy groping a drunken freshman on her first weekend at college would find disturbing. You need to take a grammar course at whatever community college is closest to you. And I don't mean in the future, I mean now. RUN TO A SCHOOL and ask them to teach you about simple functional grammar. Nouns, verbs, simple sentence structure, the proper use of tense. How to use possessive statements. Look, you're a god awful writer. And that's what offends me. You are very very bad.
But being that I'm a wonderful person, I'm going to help you. I'm going to show you the problems in your writing style. That why I'm so nice.
Firstly, let us talk about your flow. When writing you seem to jump a few words ahead of your point, this forced the audience to stop and go back to read what you wrote trying to understand it. This is bad. The object while writing is to ensure that people who are not you, can follow your narrative. If I'm being forced to go back and re-read something you wrote, I'm no longer following the narrative. If you'd like I can email you with an example from your work. I'd hate to post my critique here as you would think that is plagiarism. (note that in the original draft I used the placeholder statement "it" instead of the description "The critique" I did this so that you would be sure what "it" was. This is exactly what I'm talking about when it comes to your writing style. While the idea of "it" was obvious to me I did not assume that it would be obvious to the reader. So I made the change to ensure an ease of narrative flow.
Also, For the record I've consulted my legal team (It has many Jews) and they've informed me that plagiarism would involve a willful desire on my part to profit from your work and to take the credit from you. So this would in fact not be plagiarism.
Second, your use of grammar is something awful. I'd like to help you in this field but I don't really know where to start. I suggest purchasing a book on basic grammar. This is a link to a FREE book on english grammar, http://www.englishinstitute.co.uk/intro.html, I think this will really help you in getting your word order straight. As well as that funny verb tense issue you seem to be having.
These are the two major problems I've found in your work from a purely mechanical standpoint. I think that by working on these issues you'll discover just how much fun the English language is when you treat her nicely. Thank you.
All this anger and so little talentpnyby23September 4 2008, 15:29:48 UTC
Look, Nickeypoo, I'm just trying to help because of how uncomfortably bad you are. Yes, somebody might have bought your horrible self published work. But, are you writing to get paid or to create something that you can be proud of on more than a financial level? Nicky, a writer doesn't write to get paid, they write to tell stories. Not just stories about how much you're going to kick someone's ass who was mean to you. That sort of self serving masturbatory fantasy went out of style with Dante. Is that the best you can do?
And I have to say I see you doing this alot Nicky; I come to you in the spirit of friendship offering a helping hand and you curse at me. I never once cursed at you during my critique. And yet this vitriol you show. Well, it hurts me Nickypoo. Where does all this rage come from? A man with an IQ as stunningly mediocre as your 98 must know that such behavior will only alienate people. Don't you want friends? People to help you? Care about you? It must be so lonely being you Nicky. I want to help you be a better person, not an angry misanthrope living with his matriarchs hating all other women for the numerous rejections they must have fostered upon him.
I know you hate girls Nicky. You called me a dyke without ever knowing me. It's a hateful word. Why do you do this. All your talk of piss and rage. Did a girl pee on you? Is that what this is? Maybe,that's what you want? I'm not going to judge you. It's ok. You're just a frustrated young man in need of a hug. Just admit it Nicky, your mother resented you didn't she?
Now, I'm willing to help you become a passable writer. I think... I mean I really believe that with hard work and effort you can even win a prize. I know you like to self publish and I think this site is one where your work is really going to be appreciated. http://www.kidpub.com/
I believe in you Nicky. You can kick the crap out of those little.... no, wait, I'm sorry, I just read the stuff there. Don't try. You're not there yet. Those little kids are waayyyy better than you.
Look, Nicky, it's what you do to the English language. You molest it, you touch it in ways that a frat boy groping a drunken freshman on her first weekend at college would find disturbing. You need to take a grammar course at whatever community college is closest to you. And I don't mean in the future, I mean now. RUN TO A SCHOOL and ask them to teach you about simple functional grammar. Nouns, verbs, simple sentence structure, the proper use of tense. How to use possessive statements. Look, you're a god awful writer. And that's what offends me. You are very very bad.
But being that I'm a wonderful person, I'm going to help you. I'm going to show you the problems in your writing style. That why I'm so nice.
Firstly, let us talk about your flow. When writing you seem to jump a few words ahead of your point, this forced the audience to stop and go back to read what you wrote trying to understand it. This is bad. The object while writing is to ensure that people who are not you, can follow your narrative. If I'm being forced to go back and re-read something you wrote, I'm no longer following the narrative. If you'd like I can email you with an example from your work. I'd hate to post my critique here as you would think that is plagiarism. (note that in the original draft I used the placeholder statement "it" instead of the description "The critique" I did this so that you would be sure what "it" was. This is exactly what I'm talking about when it comes to your writing style. While the idea of "it" was obvious to me I did not assume that it would be obvious to the reader. So I made the change to ensure an ease of narrative flow.
Also, For the record I've consulted my legal team (It has many Jews) and they've informed me that plagiarism would involve a willful desire on my part to profit from your work and to take the credit from you. So this would in fact not be plagiarism.
Second, your use of grammar is something awful. I'd like to help you in this field but I don't really know where to start. I suggest purchasing a book on basic grammar. This is a link to a FREE book on english grammar, http://www.englishinstitute.co.uk/intro.html, I think this will really help you in getting your word order straight. As well as that funny verb tense issue you seem to be having.
These are the two major problems I've found in your work from a purely mechanical standpoint. I think that by working on these issues you'll discover just how much fun the English language is when you treat her nicely. Thank you.
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And I have to say I see you doing this alot Nicky; I come to you in the spirit of friendship offering a helping hand and you curse at me. I never once cursed at you during my critique. And yet this vitriol you show. Well, it hurts me Nickypoo. Where does all this rage come from? A man with an IQ as stunningly mediocre as your 98 must know that such behavior will only alienate people. Don't you want friends? People to help you? Care about you? It must be so lonely being you Nicky. I want to help you be a better person, not an angry misanthrope living with his matriarchs hating all other women for the numerous rejections they must have fostered upon him.
I know you hate girls Nicky. You called me a dyke without ever knowing me. It's a hateful word. Why do you do this. All your talk of piss and rage. Did a girl pee on you? Is that what this is? Maybe,that's what you want? I'm not going to judge you. It's ok. You're just a frustrated young man in need of a hug. Just admit it Nicky, your mother resented you didn't she?
Now, I'm willing to help you become a passable writer. I think... I mean I really believe that with hard work and effort you can even win a prize. I know you like to self publish and I think this site is one where your work is really going to be appreciated. http://www.kidpub.com/
I believe in you Nicky. You can kick the crap out of those little.... no, wait, I'm sorry, I just read the stuff there. Don't try. You're not there yet. Those little kids are waayyyy better than you.
Reply
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