da real shiznit.
So. Thus endeth a series of days in which all is funky - weird - unhappy - fun - bizarre and a whole series of other assorted metaphors that just are too many to list here. ::sigh:: My classes are over - I have had little to no contact with my friends for the most part...and it's not thru lack of trying but a general series of odd events that seem to be conspiring against your intrepid hero - namely moi. My general mood is somewhere between frustated and optimistic...I can't keep an emotional balance of late - but I think I can get back to a bit of serenity over the next 2 weeks - I can make everything happen and it's a good thing - yet I feel limited as well by circumstance and miscommunication.
My social bearings are a bit off - I HAVE been hanging out with friends - but something's off. I feel as if I'm not doing enough or my focus isn't where it should be. I have - in the past weeks been as direct and as honest as any person can get - I have tried to keep positive - and have been seeking out solutions every day - yet, I have not made any real forward movement in the things that are important to me. Why? I don't know...my only real answer is to keep going forward - constantly adapting - constantly evolving - making changes, big or small - EVERY DAY.
I'm gonna say this...try as I might, I can't shake this need for someone to share this with...I KNOW that I don't need someone to "complete" me....but I feel as is something's so very wrong with someone not being there. As if this is some vital essence in my own evolution as well as my lifespath. I have had a few "serious" relationships in my life...and every time when I was in the relationship it felt as if pieces had been put into play - like some ethereal link had been patched to my soul - it's just that then - the pieces didn't fit right - otherwise I would still be in one of those relationships...::grin::
My social bearings are a bit off - I HAVE been hanging out with friends - but something's off. I feel as if I'm not doing enough or my focus isn't where it should be. I have - in the past weeks been as direct and as honest as any person can get - I have tried to keep positive - and have been seeking out solutions every day - yet, I have not made any real forward movement in the things that are important to me. Why? I don't know...my only real answer is to keep going forward - constantly adapting - constantly evolving - making changes, big or small - EVERY DAY.
I'm gonna say this...try as I might, I can't shake this need for someone to share this with...I KNOW that I don't need someone to "complete" me....but I feel as is something's so very wrong with someone not being there. As if this is some vital essence in my own evolution as well as my lifespath. I have had a few "serious" relationships in my life...and every time when I was in the relationship it felt as if pieces had been put into play - like some ethereal link had been patched to my soul - it's just that then - the pieces didn't fit right - otherwise I would still be in one of those relationships...::grin::