(no subject)
Tonight I put on make-up and dressed up for no reason; i guess it made me feel alittle better. I made my eyes look pretty with turquise eyeliner and purple eyeshadows...And I put on, and actually wore real lipstick for the first time... wild voilet with a little cherry red..and lip gloss to finish. I put on a black tank top and a long black skirt with my Aquamarine birth-stone hanging from the black suede choker around my neck. I wished you could have seen me. I felt beautiful. I decided to wear my hair up, which I usually never do. Up in a tight high bun I felt like a pretty dancer...Because that's how I used to wear my hair for June Claire dancing recitals. Tonight went okay, until the character in the movie I was watching was sweet-talked to by his wife. They started to kiss and he rolled ontop of her and held her with a passion that is so achingly familiar..I felt the anxiety and pain rise up inside me again. This morning I had cried, but tomorrow i wont.. because I want to be strong for once. for me. for you. One day at a time. But I wont forget, because a heart doesn't stop remembering. & I wont stop feeling or believing, because feelings like this never fade and a heart is never wrong.