(no subject)
I realize its been an eternity since I last posted...however, shit happens.
I went and waw Sisterhood of the Traveling Pants. I wasn't expecting much from it because I had barely seen coming attractions. I just figured it to be like yaya. I went with Leyla and Britney. Overall, really good movie. The plot hit way too close to home though...
It's been so long. At least it sounds so long. Todays a year and four months my friend. Don't ask me why but that movie hit me like no other. Aside from last weekend's wedding ( which was suprisingly incredibly difficult for me), I can't recall the last time I naturally cried that much. I cried through practically the entire movie, and it took everything in me to choke back sobbing full force. I almost lost it several times, and yet "lightly crying" was my entire face covered in streaming tears.
I'm not sure what it was. Perhaps it was the combination of the close friendship the four friends had, just like my three girlfriends ( I think it added fuel to the fire that I miss all of them though and us all being together like we used to be..), combined w/all the dying in the story line. Especially Bridgets character. Call me overdramatic, but I identified with her way too much and how she felt. I don't care if its a character in a movie....the movie just made me really sad. She said something that hit home, "I can't be sad, because I realize how hard it is, and it hurts too bad."
Thats exactly me...Its been almost a year and a half and when I actually allow myself to feel something...on what rare occasion that is..its so hard. I miss my dad so much.I think part of me never left the denial phase. Part of me in the back of my head every day thinks....maybe there was some kind of mistake....maybe he'll walk through the door today and suprise me. Maybe hes not really gone...Gone is indefinite. And thats a extremely hard concept to grasp. A year and four months to the day and I continue to feel as though I'm just going through the motions and part of me is dead inside. Everyone has a dad and I don't. Mine's dead. There are times like now when I've never felt so alone in my life :( ....and I hate it.
I went and waw Sisterhood of the Traveling Pants. I wasn't expecting much from it because I had barely seen coming attractions. I just figured it to be like yaya. I went with Leyla and Britney. Overall, really good movie. The plot hit way too close to home though...
It's been so long. At least it sounds so long. Todays a year and four months my friend. Don't ask me why but that movie hit me like no other. Aside from last weekend's wedding ( which was suprisingly incredibly difficult for me), I can't recall the last time I naturally cried that much. I cried through practically the entire movie, and it took everything in me to choke back sobbing full force. I almost lost it several times, and yet "lightly crying" was my entire face covered in streaming tears.
I'm not sure what it was. Perhaps it was the combination of the close friendship the four friends had, just like my three girlfriends ( I think it added fuel to the fire that I miss all of them though and us all being together like we used to be..), combined w/all the dying in the story line. Especially Bridgets character. Call me overdramatic, but I identified with her way too much and how she felt. I don't care if its a character in a movie....the movie just made me really sad. She said something that hit home, "I can't be sad, because I realize how hard it is, and it hurts too bad."
Thats exactly me...Its been almost a year and a half and when I actually allow myself to feel something...on what rare occasion that is..its so hard. I miss my dad so much.I think part of me never left the denial phase. Part of me in the back of my head every day thinks....maybe there was some kind of mistake....maybe he'll walk through the door today and suprise me. Maybe hes not really gone...Gone is indefinite. And thats a extremely hard concept to grasp. A year and four months to the day and I continue to feel as though I'm just going through the motions and part of me is dead inside. Everyone has a dad and I don't. Mine's dead. There are times like now when I've never felt so alone in my life :( ....and I hate it.