What goes up must come down
Spinning wheel...well, you get the idea.
Next weekend my friend J is having her bday party in my backyard. The theme of this party is "F*&# Grad School, I Want a Bouncy House." So she is renting a bouncy house of epic proportions (15' x 15') with rockets, a roof, and rain curtains (because we live in Seattle). She is celebrating getting older by pretending to be 8. I fully support this idea.
To get ready for this, I decided I had to make my back yard a tad less scary. It's been neglected for about a year and a half/two years. And smack dab in the middle of the thing has been this Tree Stump. The Stump was pulled out of the ground from the back corner of the yard about three years ago. And It has sat where it was yanked to since that time, for various and sundry reasons which I shall not rant about at this time. No, no I won't. Because that's not the point.
Any Way, the Stump was quite large. And heavy. And sticky-uppy and full of bugs. J came over yesterday, as I was pruning back some of the more frightening bushes and putting away tools that have sat on the patio for nigh onto two months for no reason other than I am lazy. And although the Stump was enough out of the way that we did not *have* to get rid of it in order to have her party, she thought that really, for my sanity, it was time the Stump got dealt with in some fashion. I do not have a chainsaw, but I do apparently have three hatchets. (No, I don't know why, but as J pointed out, I'm totally prepared for a zombie attack.) We tried wedging the hatchets into a couple of cracks in the stump and using leverage. And while this was loud and manly and heavy, it wasn't really going very fast. It would have worked eventually, J said. I mean, given time and energy enough, we could hack it apart with hatchets. (Miss Molly Mouse was a Hatchet Girl.) But it was slow. While we thought the Stump should just give in, it had other ideas. I eventually got ahold of a friend with a chainsaw, and with various other adventures, borrowed it. J handled it, as she has chainsawed before, and I am unreasonably afraid of moving blades. (It has to do with being naturally clumsy, I think.) Before we were manly we were girly, though, and read the instruction booklet. Because we are not boys, and we feel that someone wrote those instructions for a reason. And that reason is avoiding dismemberment. While I am ready for a zombie attack, I feel no need to precipitate one.
Then J was extremely manly, rocked that chainsaw like a hurricane, and hacked off bits of the Stump that were sticking out and pointy and gnarled, while my elderly neighbor looked on. ("You girls be careful now. Try not to die.") Once J had hacked off enough of the roots and pointy bits, we tried to roll it. We were able to move it over, but not roll it back to the back of the yard. Eventually my neighbor decided to come over and help us. He gave us just enough leverage to tumble the Stump back to the back of the yard, and while it is still a Stump, it is a Reduced Stump of Being Conquered, and I have pictures of J with the chainsaw (Mostly of her ass, but you know, those are funny, too) and being manly, and the Stump, it is less of a problem than it was.
Since J had also spent several hours doing other yard work for me (I felt a little guilty, but she said it was because I'm hosting her party, so OK) she was done, and went home. I mowed the lawn haphazardly (we did have an unseasonably nice day with the sunshine and the warmth) and got the long patches manageable, and put things away, and then collapsed into a long shower where I had to wash my hair free of debris and sap and sweat and what-have-you. Today my forearms are so sore from the clippers that typing is interesting. So I probably shouldn't be doing this, but it's so much more fun than work. I must stretch.
That Stump is heavy, man. J and I with all our strength were shoving at it, and saying "I'm using everything I've got!" And it just wouldn't budge. My neighbor's help was so much appreciated and completely necessary. No matter how manly we are, we weren't quite big enough together to get that thing rolling against itself. Seeing as how earlier, we'd been jumping up and down on it and it wouldn't budge, I suppose I shouldn't be surprised. If we hadn't been able to deal with it, I might have called it a jungle gym and let people jump around on it at her party.
Bouncy house ready, as far as the yard goes. Still some cleaning up of the patio to do, and of course the house itself. Next Saturday, there will be bouncing. Whee!
Other things this weekend - saw "Elizabeth, the Golden Age" which was so awesome I am overcome by the awesomeness of it all. Early Magic Map! Sweeping storm of doom! And Her Cateness in glory and fricking rocking the royal of all royals. I was all weepy through bits of it. Is it completely of the historical accuracy in all places? No. But the feel of it, oh, I just lost myself in moments. Go see it. Feel wonder and awe. Or wonder why I felt awe, I guess. No accounting for taste.
Also saw a lovely string concert at the Triple Door, with dinner, too. Brandenburg and Mendelssohn, sweet enough to break your heart. The first chair on the Mendelssohn was so sweet and funny and cute - he was giving a rundown on why he thinks the Mendelssohn Octect is a masterpiece, written by the then 16-year old composer. And then proceeded to whale on the piece until you could practically see his soul in his bow. And I got to see it. Treats abound. I hardly feel like I deserve such fun. But who's keeping track? Not me.
Best work now. So as to deserve further treats.