And the pendulum swings back and forth my dear
Lately, I have been a writer who is writing, and that is a good writer to be. But I know what it's like when the story isn't working, when the writing isn't working, and when you (I) feel like you have to give up or go mad, or maybe both.
I mention this because my favoritest author in the history of authordom has been swinging that pendulum (or hammer, or being hammered by the pendulum) (Pendulumed by the hammer?) on the second half of her recent novel, and finding herself unable to go on. Yikes. I mean, it's bad enough at my stage, where I feel like a failure, but it's not like anyone has paid me money and is patiently or otherwise tapping their feet, waiting for me to finish. Robin McKinley announced on her website that the second Pegasus book (possibly entitled Ebon) will *not* becoming in fall of 2012, but rather, um, sometime in 2014. And, er, also now it's going to be three books all together. Also-also, while she's picking herself up from the nth basement of writer hell, she's going to have to take a break from writing those two parts/books until she can figure out how to write them, and is therefore writing a different book for now. That needs to be done post-haste, because she has to turn it in in January (this coming) and by the way has anyone seen her writer-happiness because she would like it to come home now.
Oy.
As a consumer of her fiction, I am simultaneously distraught that the next part of the story is delayed, and overjoyed at a New! Unexpected! McKinley novel that should be coming out spring of 2013. I could wail that I NEED TO KNOW WHAT HAPPENS! But I can also, as a writer, understand that the story went kerblooey and got too big and decided that it wanted a new look and brand new characters and sets of clothes for them and back stories and also there's this new country and a set of religious figures and the mythology to go with them, and can you please add some pirates. PS learn about ancient sailing. And who ordered the revolution? With extra death and destruction and a side of personal discovery. As I say, er, from, ahem, personal experience. The Ette's song "The Pendulum" (from which I titled this post) sounds to me like it's the story speaking to me - "I could be your friend or I could just go and break you. And I think you'd better make what you want clear." Stories are like weather - they don't really care if you're bleeding out your ears: they're going to keep smacking you on that rock as long as you stand outside and take it. But no one was waiting for me to finish that novel, and so when mine went kerblooey like that, I ended up abandoning it in the midst of despair, with the small, slight hope that some day I will go back and try and make it work. But different. Poor R. M. has to finish this/these novels at some point, and right now she can't. I can only hope that her writer-happiness returns with this current work, and that when she comes back to the Pegasus world, she can do so with a lighter heart and maybe a firmer and more controllable story council. Or at least conciliatory. Because I LOVE Pegasus and I am (when I think about it) desperate to know what happens to everyone. Hanging on cliffs gets a little worrisome after awhile.
But on my own writing front, I am making progress. The current novel, the not-red-riding-hood-not-a-werewolf novel, is plugging along. By the time I get to World Fantasy in (oy some more) a week-ish, I am aiming for approximately 25,000 words, or about half of my first draft. Yes, if you have been paying attention, this is, er, half of my projected output from a month or so ago. No, I will not be meeting that 50,000 word mark. No, the first draft is not finished. I ... just don't write that fast. Currently. Perhaps ever. But I DO write. Lately. And I have an outline I'm happy with, and scenes that I think are working action-wise and plot-wise, even if I need to rewrite and fix dialogue and make sentences not so clunky. But the words are in there. And I keep writing more. Yay.
My new goal is to have that 50,000 word mark by the end of December, and a complete first (zero) draft that I can share with first (second?) readers. Then revise until I have a workable, send-out-able draft by spring. This is something I think I can manage. 30,000 words in one month is too high for me at my current output. But I think I can do 12,500. And when I FINISH this project, I can start thinking about what to do about it, and the next project, and the last project, but for now I'm just going to be happy that my writer-happiness is hanging about, and I can make words show up on paper and on screen, and still like myself in the morning. Ms. McKinley, from the fringes of amateur writinghood, I sympathize, and I salute you for soldiering on. I will take your example to heart and keep on keeping on, too.
I mention this because my favoritest author in the history of authordom has been swinging that pendulum (or hammer, or being hammered by the pendulum) (Pendulumed by the hammer?) on the second half of her recent novel, and finding herself unable to go on. Yikes. I mean, it's bad enough at my stage, where I feel like a failure, but it's not like anyone has paid me money and is patiently or otherwise tapping their feet, waiting for me to finish. Robin McKinley announced on her website that the second Pegasus book (possibly entitled Ebon) will *not* becoming in fall of 2012, but rather, um, sometime in 2014. And, er, also now it's going to be three books all together. Also-also, while she's picking herself up from the nth basement of writer hell, she's going to have to take a break from writing those two parts/books until she can figure out how to write them, and is therefore writing a different book for now. That needs to be done post-haste, because she has to turn it in in January (this coming) and by the way has anyone seen her writer-happiness because she would like it to come home now.
Oy.
As a consumer of her fiction, I am simultaneously distraught that the next part of the story is delayed, and overjoyed at a New! Unexpected! McKinley novel that should be coming out spring of 2013. I could wail that I NEED TO KNOW WHAT HAPPENS! But I can also, as a writer, understand that the story went kerblooey and got too big and decided that it wanted a new look and brand new characters and sets of clothes for them and back stories and also there's this new country and a set of religious figures and the mythology to go with them, and can you please add some pirates. PS learn about ancient sailing. And who ordered the revolution? With extra death and destruction and a side of personal discovery. As I say, er, from, ahem, personal experience. The Ette's song "The Pendulum" (from which I titled this post) sounds to me like it's the story speaking to me - "I could be your friend or I could just go and break you. And I think you'd better make what you want clear." Stories are like weather - they don't really care if you're bleeding out your ears: they're going to keep smacking you on that rock as long as you stand outside and take it. But no one was waiting for me to finish that novel, and so when mine went kerblooey like that, I ended up abandoning it in the midst of despair, with the small, slight hope that some day I will go back and try and make it work. But different. Poor R. M. has to finish this/these novels at some point, and right now she can't. I can only hope that her writer-happiness returns with this current work, and that when she comes back to the Pegasus world, she can do so with a lighter heart and maybe a firmer and more controllable story council. Or at least conciliatory. Because I LOVE Pegasus and I am (when I think about it) desperate to know what happens to everyone. Hanging on cliffs gets a little worrisome after awhile.
But on my own writing front, I am making progress. The current novel, the not-red-riding-hood-not-a-werewolf novel, is plugging along. By the time I get to World Fantasy in (oy some more) a week-ish, I am aiming for approximately 25,000 words, or about half of my first draft. Yes, if you have been paying attention, this is, er, half of my projected output from a month or so ago. No, I will not be meeting that 50,000 word mark. No, the first draft is not finished. I ... just don't write that fast. Currently. Perhaps ever. But I DO write. Lately. And I have an outline I'm happy with, and scenes that I think are working action-wise and plot-wise, even if I need to rewrite and fix dialogue and make sentences not so clunky. But the words are in there. And I keep writing more. Yay.
My new goal is to have that 50,000 word mark by the end of December, and a complete first (zero) draft that I can share with first (second?) readers. Then revise until I have a workable, send-out-able draft by spring. This is something I think I can manage. 30,000 words in one month is too high for me at my current output. But I think I can do 12,500. And when I FINISH this project, I can start thinking about what to do about it, and the next project, and the last project, but for now I'm just going to be happy that my writer-happiness is hanging about, and I can make words show up on paper and on screen, and still like myself in the morning. Ms. McKinley, from the fringes of amateur writinghood, I sympathize, and I salute you for soldiering on. I will take your example to heart and keep on keeping on, too.