(no subject)
I've finally cracked. Honest to God..
I started bawling after my mom basically told me there's no way in hell I can attend both my sister's wedding and LDC interviews.. so I have to choose one.
My relationship with my family sucks as it is and it'll only make it worse if I don't go to my sister's wedding. But it's not like my sister understands how much I'll be giving up if I give up LDC to go to her wedding.
The wedding's one day with my sister where I'm hoping our relationship will improve.. the interview could lead to six months of an irreplaceable opportunity ..
But my sister didn't even bother telling me about the wedding herself.. nor am I an important part in the ceremony at all.. on the other hand, the interview could lead to a devestating rejection..
How am I supposed to decide between two uncertain things.. one that would benefit my relations with one person, the other that would allow me to grow and do something for others and myself at the same time before I leave for college..
There IS no other chance to staff for LDC and my sister getting married and moving out could just be the final thing (post-divorce) to completely separate the family into three pieces.. the dad that doesn't speak to me anymore with his two precious daughters, my mom who can't wait for me to graduate and leave the house and her beloved son and daughter, and me. So what good would it be for me to give LDC up for that?
But what kind of sister doesn't attend her own sister's wedding?
I'm still crying. My head still hurts. And I'm sure this isn't that big of a deal to the rest of you and I'm sure it isn't, but this is just an overload of emotion pouring out that I've been keeping internal since the divorce. Bear with me.
I started bawling after my mom basically told me there's no way in hell I can attend both my sister's wedding and LDC interviews.. so I have to choose one.
My relationship with my family sucks as it is and it'll only make it worse if I don't go to my sister's wedding. But it's not like my sister understands how much I'll be giving up if I give up LDC to go to her wedding.
The wedding's one day with my sister where I'm hoping our relationship will improve.. the interview could lead to six months of an irreplaceable opportunity ..
But my sister didn't even bother telling me about the wedding herself.. nor am I an important part in the ceremony at all.. on the other hand, the interview could lead to a devestating rejection..
How am I supposed to decide between two uncertain things.. one that would benefit my relations with one person, the other that would allow me to grow and do something for others and myself at the same time before I leave for college..
There IS no other chance to staff for LDC and my sister getting married and moving out could just be the final thing (post-divorce) to completely separate the family into three pieces.. the dad that doesn't speak to me anymore with his two precious daughters, my mom who can't wait for me to graduate and leave the house and her beloved son and daughter, and me. So what good would it be for me to give LDC up for that?
But what kind of sister doesn't attend her own sister's wedding?
I'm still crying. My head still hurts. And I'm sure this isn't that big of a deal to the rest of you and I'm sure it isn't, but this is just an overload of emotion pouring out that I've been keeping internal since the divorce. Bear with me.