Stupid thought processes - you go away now!
It has been an ... eventful past few days. I am sleep-deprived to boot, but am not tired, so bed would not equate to sleep.
On Friday evening I was on messenger chatting away. Planning to head to bed, because I was tired. And if I stuck around longer, it would do that tricky thing where it jumps 2 hours and it's Too Late. Then I got an earnest IM from a friend. Now, I'm glad he came to me and all, and I'd always prefer someone to come to me, than, well, not. But, yeah. He was in a REAL bad state/place.
He asked me if I knew how he could get himself committed. Yea-ah. I don't really want to get into the whole dealio. But we've chatted about our respective mental health issues in the past, so Precedence was set. I was confident I could go to bed and he would be alive in the morning. And I told him to txt/call me in the morning - just that extra you-have-something-to-do. I have a long list of Things To Ensure Before Leaving A Potentially Suicidal Person Alone With Their Selves. I checked off most of them.
He was a bit better in the morning (ain't that the way most of the time?). We'll likely catch up this weekend - were going to on Sunday, but he remembered he had to do some family thing (up in Ballarat? Bendigo? One of the Victorian B towns. lol).
Sunday was watering at my Granny's. There are stage 3a (or 3b? I don't remember) water restrictions in Melbourne. Can water on Sunday and Wednesday mornings for 2 hrs if your house is an odd-number. Dad showed up. Granny was chatty. When I left I forgot to turn off the trickling-on-tree tap in the morning. This led to angry!Granny telling me off as only a German (who lived through the war) can. Though she's Estonian My Granny can be scary if she wants to be, ok? Trust me on this.
I was NOT up for this shit. Like I did it on purpose?! I was already pondering ignoring my phone as she's the only one who calls my land line. I was like, Ok. I won't do it again. I figure she's going to turn it off. ... A valid assumption to make, no? No. No it wasn't. A couple hours later I get an angry phone call on my mobile, because I've gone to do laundry. My Granny asking when someone is going to come to turn off the tap. For fuck's sake!
I throw my just-finished-drying laundry into my car, straight to my Granny's. Thankfully can just jump out of the car as the tap is in the front. And I'm home.
Another few hours later my phone rings. Granny wants to know why I didn't come inside. /o\ I remain silent for most of this conversation. Tells me I could have saved my Dad a trip (bins go out Sunday night). Was I coming back? NO! NO I WAS NOT!
Monday I go for a walk down to the pet store for some HAPPY time with Polly and Jimmy. Another phone call to my mobile. My Dad. Granny had a fall. Being alone, she was on the floor for some hours. 2-4 by my calculation.
She's now in hospital. No breaks. Tested the heart and it was fine. They wanted to discharge her Monday night. Today they say she has an infection in her arm (it was badly swollen on Monday). They did not find this Monday. Yeaah... Cabrini PRIVATE Hospital = shithouse. Have had nothing but trouble with them.
Couldn't sleep last night. Last time I looked at the time on my phone it was 3:44am. Set alarm to 7. Didn't stir until 7:30. Rolled over and it was after 8. Somehow managed to drag myself out of bed and to Granny's - SUCH a dangerous drive, being that tired. Ran into Dad 9:30 who was picking up some of her tablets. He told me about the shit that was the problems. He's pretty badly tired, too. Also not sleeping well. Having to try and deal with all this. So much for a good BREAK from work - he goes back on Monday.
Granny will go to respite care sometime over the next few days, probably. Hopefully. Mitsy (Granny's cat who me and Dad have been looking after) will go into the vet's cattery tomorrow. I don't think Granny will be able to go home. I want to find her a new home now. She knows something's up, too. I went and had dinner to keep her company this evening. She curled up on my shoes.
Also, my exam is in three weeks. 9:30am 27th January. I haven't been able to bring myself to start studying. And the fear and stress and anxiety is building already. I feel so alone and as though I have no support.
I am not well. Also, I seem to have a Cough.
I am going to take a sleeping tablet and hopefully, maybe get some sleep tonight.
On Friday evening I was on messenger chatting away. Planning to head to bed, because I was tired. And if I stuck around longer, it would do that tricky thing where it jumps 2 hours and it's Too Late. Then I got an earnest IM from a friend. Now, I'm glad he came to me and all, and I'd always prefer someone to come to me, than, well, not. But, yeah. He was in a REAL bad state/place.
He asked me if I knew how he could get himself committed. Yea-ah. I don't really want to get into the whole dealio. But we've chatted about our respective mental health issues in the past, so Precedence was set. I was confident I could go to bed and he would be alive in the morning. And I told him to txt/call me in the morning - just that extra you-have-something-to-do. I have a long list of Things To Ensure Before Leaving A Potentially Suicidal Person Alone With Their Selves. I checked off most of them.
He was a bit better in the morning (ain't that the way most of the time?). We'll likely catch up this weekend - were going to on Sunday, but he remembered he had to do some family thing (up in Ballarat? Bendigo? One of the Victorian B towns. lol).
Sunday was watering at my Granny's. There are stage 3a (or 3b? I don't remember) water restrictions in Melbourne. Can water on Sunday and Wednesday mornings for 2 hrs if your house is an odd-number. Dad showed up. Granny was chatty. When I left I forgot to turn off the trickling-on-tree tap in the morning. This led to angry!Granny telling me off as only a German (who lived through the war) can. Though she's Estonian My Granny can be scary if she wants to be, ok? Trust me on this.
I was NOT up for this shit. Like I did it on purpose?! I was already pondering ignoring my phone as she's the only one who calls my land line. I was like, Ok. I won't do it again. I figure she's going to turn it off. ... A valid assumption to make, no? No. No it wasn't. A couple hours later I get an angry phone call on my mobile, because I've gone to do laundry. My Granny asking when someone is going to come to turn off the tap. For fuck's sake!
I throw my just-finished-drying laundry into my car, straight to my Granny's. Thankfully can just jump out of the car as the tap is in the front. And I'm home.
Another few hours later my phone rings. Granny wants to know why I didn't come inside. /o\ I remain silent for most of this conversation. Tells me I could have saved my Dad a trip (bins go out Sunday night). Was I coming back? NO! NO I WAS NOT!
Monday I go for a walk down to the pet store for some HAPPY time with Polly and Jimmy. Another phone call to my mobile. My Dad. Granny had a fall. Being alone, she was on the floor for some hours. 2-4 by my calculation.
She's now in hospital. No breaks. Tested the heart and it was fine. They wanted to discharge her Monday night. Today they say she has an infection in her arm (it was badly swollen on Monday). They did not find this Monday. Yeaah... Cabrini PRIVATE Hospital = shithouse. Have had nothing but trouble with them.
Couldn't sleep last night. Last time I looked at the time on my phone it was 3:44am. Set alarm to 7. Didn't stir until 7:30. Rolled over and it was after 8. Somehow managed to drag myself out of bed and to Granny's - SUCH a dangerous drive, being that tired. Ran into Dad 9:30 who was picking up some of her tablets. He told me about the shit that was the problems. He's pretty badly tired, too. Also not sleeping well. Having to try and deal with all this. So much for a good BREAK from work - he goes back on Monday.
Granny will go to respite care sometime over the next few days, probably. Hopefully. Mitsy (Granny's cat who me and Dad have been looking after) will go into the vet's cattery tomorrow. I don't think Granny will be able to go home. I want to find her a new home now. She knows something's up, too. I went and had dinner to keep her company this evening. She curled up on my shoes.
Also, my exam is in three weeks. 9:30am 27th January. I haven't been able to bring myself to start studying. And the fear and stress and anxiety is building already. I feel so alone and as though I have no support.
I am not well. Also, I seem to have a Cough.
I am going to take a sleeping tablet and hopefully, maybe get some sleep tonight.