Dropping
Voulez vous couchez avec moi ce soir?
Voulez vous couchez avec moi?
Yes, Yes, Yes, Yes and Yes. Ahh too be young again.
To experience it all over for the first time and to shiver uncontrolably the first time not ready not wanting. Maybe the first time for everything should be bad should be hard, should be difficult. I have known a lot of people that there first times were great they were happy and when things changed they had no idea what to do. It's so easy to go through life and have everything work out but does that really happen that often. Generally the people that hold hard onto things that are just doing them harm are the people that have nothing left to live for and nothing left to hold onto to. Nothing left to hold onto is a scary thought I certainly know that I have been there before. My bed is empty it broke the other day maybe it was a metaphor I am glad that no one was in it because someone would have been hurt. I am glad that I am not with someone because at some point i know I would hurt them as things are way too hard for me now and I can not have anyone else counting on me right now infact I really need someone that I can coount on to take care of my stuff and take some of this weight off my back. I have decided to grow out my hair and my beard as i have NO prospects that are going to work out and I don't want anyone to be twisted and turned by my whirlwind effects. I like to run the ball I usually run right at the people that are trying to tackle me, for whatever reason that makes it so hard for them to actually do it. If I was to avoid them I would leave too many gaps and holes that I could be hit in. When you run at someone the direct force of your body is generally too much from them to take. I was more of a Barry Sanders in High School I would run from one side of the field to the other just to gain 5 yards. I loved to run the ball and loved to get hit. Each blow would make me feel more alive and the cheerleaders always had a little something something for the boys in blue at the end of the game anyways... Love and hate treat me wrong put me right back where I belong. I really think that this work shit is too much and that my future is something that I cannot hold as it is too soft and fragile. I am going to the doctors on Wednesday not for you and not for me but because no father should have to bury his son and I am not going to be the one that tells him he needs to. It is so many things that go through ones head and so many things that could be done. So many options I wish I could help people but so many people aren't ready to be helped. I wish i could be important for people without taking everything personally but I am a person that thinks that everything is directed against me and for that reason everything I think and that happens I take on a personal level. Why have I always thought that everyone is out to get me you did it to me long ago? And she did it to me years and years ago. I read everything because I didn't know how to read and now I don't know where I should stop reading maybe I should just stop reading all together and open my exposed heart to just take and receive. I can't stop reading though I can't really read as good as I need to to strive. I treat people good when they are important to me or... try to.... sorry mom and josh and sometimes sam I guess you can't always get my best treatment. I do care about you but waste too much energy on other people I am trying to take care of surely you understand? But i am realistic and know probably not. Make up your mind Bryan. Make up your mind. What it is you want. I love the controversial conversations that go on too many people just don't understand and don't know but I can't be the one to tell them I can't expose myself there is nothing to read when its spoken word though even inside the words there are items to read. I feel that me looking into things at a elevated level is all about my past hurt. I have experience a lot and be little a lot of people because of it I guess I am an elitist but not on purpose and I am definately the most experience person and knowledgable person I know in almost anything I can think of though I don't want to be. It feels so good being taller than people but sometimes I want to be short which works because I am such an average lame ass height. I have never been good enough at anything to be the best, I got no superlatives in high school and it still bothers me today. Everyone knew me I was involved in everything and I was good at everything but not enough to be noticed. I am one of the post powerful, influential and deceptive people I know but really what is that worth will anyone care when I die will anyone remember me when I die will anyone say that was too bad we could have used him here longer. Ya.... probably not maybe its me actually there is no maybe about it, It is this giant chip on my shoulder telling me that I cant trust anyone that keeps me from being like everyone else. This giant weight on my back saying that I need to be the best or I am the worst. And this wall around my heart that wont let me experience anything ever again.
END
Voulez vous couchez avec moi?
Yes, Yes, Yes, Yes and Yes. Ahh too be young again.
To experience it all over for the first time and to shiver uncontrolably the first time not ready not wanting. Maybe the first time for everything should be bad should be hard, should be difficult. I have known a lot of people that there first times were great they were happy and when things changed they had no idea what to do. It's so easy to go through life and have everything work out but does that really happen that often. Generally the people that hold hard onto things that are just doing them harm are the people that have nothing left to live for and nothing left to hold onto to. Nothing left to hold onto is a scary thought I certainly know that I have been there before. My bed is empty it broke the other day maybe it was a metaphor I am glad that no one was in it because someone would have been hurt. I am glad that I am not with someone because at some point i know I would hurt them as things are way too hard for me now and I can not have anyone else counting on me right now infact I really need someone that I can coount on to take care of my stuff and take some of this weight off my back. I have decided to grow out my hair and my beard as i have NO prospects that are going to work out and I don't want anyone to be twisted and turned by my whirlwind effects. I like to run the ball I usually run right at the people that are trying to tackle me, for whatever reason that makes it so hard for them to actually do it. If I was to avoid them I would leave too many gaps and holes that I could be hit in. When you run at someone the direct force of your body is generally too much from them to take. I was more of a Barry Sanders in High School I would run from one side of the field to the other just to gain 5 yards. I loved to run the ball and loved to get hit. Each blow would make me feel more alive and the cheerleaders always had a little something something for the boys in blue at the end of the game anyways... Love and hate treat me wrong put me right back where I belong. I really think that this work shit is too much and that my future is something that I cannot hold as it is too soft and fragile. I am going to the doctors on Wednesday not for you and not for me but because no father should have to bury his son and I am not going to be the one that tells him he needs to. It is so many things that go through ones head and so many things that could be done. So many options I wish I could help people but so many people aren't ready to be helped. I wish i could be important for people without taking everything personally but I am a person that thinks that everything is directed against me and for that reason everything I think and that happens I take on a personal level. Why have I always thought that everyone is out to get me you did it to me long ago? And she did it to me years and years ago. I read everything because I didn't know how to read and now I don't know where I should stop reading maybe I should just stop reading all together and open my exposed heart to just take and receive. I can't stop reading though I can't really read as good as I need to to strive. I treat people good when they are important to me or... try to.... sorry mom and josh and sometimes sam I guess you can't always get my best treatment. I do care about you but waste too much energy on other people I am trying to take care of surely you understand? But i am realistic and know probably not. Make up your mind Bryan. Make up your mind. What it is you want. I love the controversial conversations that go on too many people just don't understand and don't know but I can't be the one to tell them I can't expose myself there is nothing to read when its spoken word though even inside the words there are items to read. I feel that me looking into things at a elevated level is all about my past hurt. I have experience a lot and be little a lot of people because of it I guess I am an elitist but not on purpose and I am definately the most experience person and knowledgable person I know in almost anything I can think of though I don't want to be. It feels so good being taller than people but sometimes I want to be short which works because I am such an average lame ass height. I have never been good enough at anything to be the best, I got no superlatives in high school and it still bothers me today. Everyone knew me I was involved in everything and I was good at everything but not enough to be noticed. I am one of the post powerful, influential and deceptive people I know but really what is that worth will anyone care when I die will anyone remember me when I die will anyone say that was too bad we could have used him here longer. Ya.... probably not maybe its me actually there is no maybe about it, It is this giant chip on my shoulder telling me that I cant trust anyone that keeps me from being like everyone else. This giant weight on my back saying that I need to be the best or I am the worst. And this wall around my heart that wont let me experience anything ever again.
END