wit at war
Exchanges of insults and threats can be quite funny (though not, perhaps, to the protagonists). The best exchange I ever heard of was the very economical letters sent between two Irish chieftains, one of whom believed himself of higher rank than the other:
"Pay me the tribute you owe. Or else..."
"I owe you no tribute. And if..."
Next to this comes the exchange between a King of Poland and a nobleman in revolt. The nobleman had the impudence to write to the King personally, informing him that he had put a prize of 20,000 crowns (I think) on his head. Back came the answer: "I am glad that you still think so highly of my head, for I assure you that since you dared to rebel, I would not give a brass farthing for yours."
"Pay me the tribute you owe. Or else..."
"I owe you no tribute. And if..."
Next to this comes the exchange between a King of Poland and a nobleman in revolt. The nobleman had the impudence to write to the King personally, informing him that he had put a prize of 20,000 crowns (I think) on his head. Back came the answer: "I am glad that you still think so highly of my head, for I assure you that since you dared to rebel, I would not give a brass farthing for yours."