Have you ever noticed that jealousy and bitterness come hand in hand?
Along with a bunch of other emotions I'm sure. I tried so hard after Eric left this morning to not let this tiny thing bother me. It would never bother any other girlfriend in this world, and yet, there it was, inching it's way under my skin.
Then finally, there it was, I got filled with jealousy. Then finally broke down and started crying thinking it meant more than it really did. I even thought up my journal entry with lots of mean words and angry insults to through around. But I know I don't mean them. I don't. I love Eric and I try to have a lot of understanding, but even I can't be that understanding all the time.
Especially when I get jealous. It's a chain. I get jealous, so then I get hurt, and when I get hurt about something, I get angry to hide that hurt. But I can't just keep getting angry. I'm hurt and I know it. I've finally just got to let that out and tell the world that "HEY, I'M NOT SOME FUCKING SUPER MACHINE WOMAN WHO CAN TAKE ANYTHING WITHOUT EVER FEELING HURT BY IT"
So, here goes.
Lisa, I hope you're fucking happy. Not only did you RUIN my spring break, but this morning REALLY HURT MY FEELNGS. Eric NEVER takes me to school in the morning because it's "out of his way"...oh but he jumped up and left early this morning so he could go get you from way over by Eisenhower. I feel REAL fucking special right now. ~Monica
Then finally, there it was, I got filled with jealousy. Then finally broke down and started crying thinking it meant more than it really did. I even thought up my journal entry with lots of mean words and angry insults to through around. But I know I don't mean them. I don't. I love Eric and I try to have a lot of understanding, but even I can't be that understanding all the time.
Especially when I get jealous. It's a chain. I get jealous, so then I get hurt, and when I get hurt about something, I get angry to hide that hurt. But I can't just keep getting angry. I'm hurt and I know it. I've finally just got to let that out and tell the world that "HEY, I'M NOT SOME FUCKING SUPER MACHINE WOMAN WHO CAN TAKE ANYTHING WITHOUT EVER FEELING HURT BY IT"
So, here goes.
Lisa, I hope you're fucking happy. Not only did you RUIN my spring break, but this morning REALLY HURT MY FEELNGS. Eric NEVER takes me to school in the morning because it's "out of his way"...oh but he jumped up and left early this morning so he could go get you from way over by Eisenhower. I feel REAL fucking special right now. ~Monica