in with the new
been a while since i last gave my journal any lovin', so i figured it was due for some kind of update on my life and other things. i have to laugh, looking at some of my old entries and seeing how dramatic and over-emotional i was about everything that was going on. well, i guess i'll start with saying i'm no longer living in canada anymore. on june 24th i made the move back over to my small hometown island of bermuda, where my family all resides. it's not a permanent move, it's only for about a year or so, with the purpose of working while living with my mom in order to save up some money. while i was living in canada, i was really struggling with my money and wasn't capable of saving up or affording the things i want. so now i'm just working a simple office job in bermuda. i hate it. i hate living with my mom and siblings. i hate the lack of privacy and independence. and i hate the freaking heaaaat. yes, the island's beautiful, the beaches are nice, and it certainly beats the canadian winters, but everything else is pretty much hell and i want to get off this island as soon as i'm able to do so. as for what comes next once i reach that point, i'm not entirely sure... of course, having moved back to bermuda, i've taken a hiatus on the whole acting thing. i had to leave my agent, who i was already on rocky terms with, and there's not much of an acting industry in bermuda so i can't even really work on it. ideally i'd love to move out to los angeles, but i don't have american citizenship and it's really difficult for new talent to go and work there. so, i'm kind of stuck with the only option of going back to vancouver. one reason that i would love to go back is because i have a fresh new boyfriend who i left behind there, one who i didn't get to spend much time with before i left. of course, i know you're not supposed to move anywhere for a guy, but it's so hard to fight those feelings. if i do go back though, i'm not sure what i would do for work. i don't really want to go back and work at the restaurant, because i built a bit of a reputation there... one i'm not too proud of, and there are certain people there that i could live with never seeing again. i would probably try and find an office job, but with my lack of qualifications i'm not sure how easy that would be. i really just need to focus on what i'd like to do for a career. i don't think i want to focus solely on acting, as it isn't going as well as i had intended, so i'd like to find something else that will provide me with a steady, reliable income.
so, life's pretty uneventful at the moment. i'm still into anime... which is surprising, as i'm always on and off with it. it seems like whenever i don't have much going on in real life, i tend to fall heavily back into it, and then as soon as my life picks up again, i feel like i'm ready to abandon anime altogether... haha. funny how that works out. but i'm 22 now, going on 23 this year, and i feel like i should be more established by now. people keep saying i'm still young, but i don't really feel it. perhaps i would feel more okay if i was in school and actually working towards something, but i'm not. i've been thinking that maybe i should go and apply to a university or something, but i don't even know where to start. my parents are more focused on my brother and sister now, so i feel all alone in any endeavors i decide to take. it sucks. i wish i could just go back in time and tell my younger self to get the hell up off her lazy ass and actually care about education and her future, because it's so much harder to get into it later on in the game.
anyway, i think that's enough rambling for now. on a much lighter and exciting note, breaking bad premieres tonight! i'm super stoked about it, i've been waiting so long for this day to come.
so, life's pretty uneventful at the moment. i'm still into anime... which is surprising, as i'm always on and off with it. it seems like whenever i don't have much going on in real life, i tend to fall heavily back into it, and then as soon as my life picks up again, i feel like i'm ready to abandon anime altogether... haha. funny how that works out. but i'm 22 now, going on 23 this year, and i feel like i should be more established by now. people keep saying i'm still young, but i don't really feel it. perhaps i would feel more okay if i was in school and actually working towards something, but i'm not. i've been thinking that maybe i should go and apply to a university or something, but i don't even know where to start. my parents are more focused on my brother and sister now, so i feel all alone in any endeavors i decide to take. it sucks. i wish i could just go back in time and tell my younger self to get the hell up off her lazy ass and actually care about education and her future, because it's so much harder to get into it later on in the game.
anyway, i think that's enough rambling for now. on a much lighter and exciting note, breaking bad premieres tonight! i'm super stoked about it, i've been waiting so long for this day to come.