recovery
well, i think i'm recovering really well from my recent heart-break. (i don't know if i can even call it that since we were never together... but it felt like one, so i will.) i went in this monday morning feeling mostly like my normal self, which was surprising for me, since it usually takes me quite a long time to get over things. then the worst thing happened: i find out my instructor for that day called in sick, so, lo and behold - the heart-breaker was the one substituting. coincidence, i know. that caught me completely off guard, since it was so sudden and i still didn't feel entirely ready to face him quite yet, but i had no choice in the matter. it took me a lot to look at him, but i forced myself as much as i could. every time he glanced at me though, i swear i flinched each time. eventually i got more comfortable and it didn't bother me so much anymore, so i started smiling again and cracking a few jokes here and there. when he called for break, he actually came over to give me props and said 'glad to have you back,' which i assume he was refering to my normal self. it wasn't much, but it at least showed that he had been thinking about me and the situation, and felt the need to give closure to it. even though i wasn't entirely back, i still acted like i was, since i don't want to appear weak in front of him. it would be a lie to say that i'm still not affected by it - i am, but i'm generally pretty good at hiding it.
anyway, tomorrow is our last day before our 2-week break. i was supposed to travel home to bermuda during it, but i didn't get my passport renewed in time so that's not happening anymore. pretty bummed out about it, but oh well, i know i'll probably have a chance sometime after the course is done - which will be only 7 more weeks after the break! it's coming up so fast, and i really have to prepare myself... there is ALOT of shit that i need to plan during and after, so i really gotta get cracking. although it would have been nice to go to bermuda this summer, it's probably kind of good that i'm not, since now i'll have time to actually work on school and other plans. we've just started looking for demo reel scenes, and then our headshots will be due sometime soon after the break, and just a whole load of other stuff. i also want to start searching for a new place to live after school is done - whether it's by myself or with some classmates, i dunno, but i really need a new place where i can feel more comfortable. and then i'll need to work on getting an agent and a job once the course is done also... which is another huge chore. lots of stuff to do in such a short amount of time, but i'm still excited! just hopefully all will work out well in the end.
anyway, tomorrow is our last day before our 2-week break. i was supposed to travel home to bermuda during it, but i didn't get my passport renewed in time so that's not happening anymore. pretty bummed out about it, but oh well, i know i'll probably have a chance sometime after the course is done - which will be only 7 more weeks after the break! it's coming up so fast, and i really have to prepare myself... there is ALOT of shit that i need to plan during and after, so i really gotta get cracking. although it would have been nice to go to bermuda this summer, it's probably kind of good that i'm not, since now i'll have time to actually work on school and other plans. we've just started looking for demo reel scenes, and then our headshots will be due sometime soon after the break, and just a whole load of other stuff. i also want to start searching for a new place to live after school is done - whether it's by myself or with some classmates, i dunno, but i really need a new place where i can feel more comfortable. and then i'll need to work on getting an agent and a job once the course is done also... which is another huge chore. lots of stuff to do in such a short amount of time, but i'm still excited! just hopefully all will work out well in the end.