Sometimes you've got to face the facts...
I wish I could run away from the pressure, I wish I could run away from my mistakes, and I wish I could run away this life that I've chosen to lead. But, I can't. I can't fold under the pressure, I have to face my mistakes, and I have to hold my head high as I walk along my chosen path. I'm absolutely horrified that because I made a simple mistake, easily made and often made by many other students, I may not even be able to return to Orme. I mean, this is the time in my life where I'm SUPPOSED to be making mistakes, where I'm SUPPOSED to be dealing with heartache, where I'm SUPPOSED to scrambling to get things back to the way they were. Through all the shit that I'm going through right now, all my friends and most of the faculty have been really supportive of me. They have all provided a temporary sanctuary in which to lay my head.
I've always been a pretty optimistic and very confident person. Hell, I have a giant picture of Shaquille O'neal about to stuff the shit out of Michael Jordan with the word CONFIDENCE in big bold letters at the bottom hanging up in my room. And, anyone who knows me also knows that I rarely ever frown, and I usually try to smile. But, for some reason, I find it so hard to smile lately and even harder to have confidence in myself. Failure is not an option anymore, but I can't help but wonder what it would be like if I really did fail. Would it be all my fault? Or are there others I could use as scape-goats?
Mas o menos. No se.
I just don't know anymore. I've never doubted myself in my whole life, but all of a sudden, a wave of fear has seemingly crept into my spine. This wave is at low tide right now, and it will most likely stay there, but low or high tide doesn't matter when you can't swim. I guess I had better learn pretty damn quick. Don't shine, Richard. Burn.
"Lemme run with you tonight... I'll take you on a moonlight ride... There's someone I used to see, but she don't give a damn for me... So Lemme get to the point. Let's roll another joint. And turn the radio loud; I'm too alone to be proud. And you don't know how it feels... No, you don't know how it feels... You don't know how it feels... To be me..."
Aaaaahhhh.... I need to learn how to play the guitar...
I've always been a pretty optimistic and very confident person. Hell, I have a giant picture of Shaquille O'neal about to stuff the shit out of Michael Jordan with the word CONFIDENCE in big bold letters at the bottom hanging up in my room. And, anyone who knows me also knows that I rarely ever frown, and I usually try to smile. But, for some reason, I find it so hard to smile lately and even harder to have confidence in myself. Failure is not an option anymore, but I can't help but wonder what it would be like if I really did fail. Would it be all my fault? Or are there others I could use as scape-goats?
Mas o menos. No se.
I just don't know anymore. I've never doubted myself in my whole life, but all of a sudden, a wave of fear has seemingly crept into my spine. This wave is at low tide right now, and it will most likely stay there, but low or high tide doesn't matter when you can't swim. I guess I had better learn pretty damn quick. Don't shine, Richard. Burn.
"Lemme run with you tonight... I'll take you on a moonlight ride... There's someone I used to see, but she don't give a damn for me... So Lemme get to the point. Let's roll another joint. And turn the radio loud; I'm too alone to be proud. And you don't know how it feels... No, you don't know how it feels... You don't know how it feels... To be me..."
Aaaaahhhh.... I need to learn how to play the guitar...