The Psychology of Drama
It's interesting sometimes, how when you read something negative about an unnamed someone, you might wonder if it's about you. Surely, when I rant, I try to avoid ever mentioning names, but it makes me wonder if someone is thinking the exact same thing when they read those rants.
I suppose many of our brains are programmed, for whatever reason, to think in terms of our own limited views; not just on this topic, but many others. But it is true, that people do talk about others behind their backs, long after we think an issue may have been resolved, or when we don't even know that an issue even exists.
"If all our friends only knew what we have said about them behind their backs, we wouldn’t have four friends in all the world."
Blaise Paschal
But why do people do such things? Is it a struggle to make oneself feel better by berating others (aka, "bully syndrome"), or merely a need to vent to defeat pent-up tension? Or perhaps other reasons, both innocent and sinister?
There are individuals, like myself, who attempt strongly to avoid ever naming names, despite needing to vent at times.1 And of course, there are individuals who, suffering for whatever reason, have taken to lash out at specific individuals, berating them at every turn without mercy, as well a belittling anyone who dares to show opposition to their point of view.2
Why can people not agree to simply disagree? Why can people not agree to simply live and let live? I understand we need to find ways to release our anger and frustrations at times, but there are means of doing such without causing harm to specific individuals. I also understand we may wish to protect our friends, which can be a noble cause, but I think it depends how one proceeds in this regard, otherwise it may lead to simply causing drama.
"Trying to do the right thing, play it straight, but the right thing changes from state to state."
Soul Asylum3
I suppose that's exactly what this post is all about, really, is wondering why people do such things, when is it appropriate and not appropriate, and, in particular, a plea to ask people to avoid names and implications whenever possible, and to open up communications with those they may have trouble with, to try to resolve the issue directly rather than creating drama, if at all possible.
Insights and alternative perspectives are, as always, highly appreciated. ^.^
I suppose many of our brains are programmed, for whatever reason, to think in terms of our own limited views; not just on this topic, but many others. But it is true, that people do talk about others behind their backs, long after we think an issue may have been resolved, or when we don't even know that an issue even exists.
"If all our friends only knew what we have said about them behind their backs, we wouldn’t have four friends in all the world."
Blaise Paschal
But why do people do such things? Is it a struggle to make oneself feel better by berating others (aka, "bully syndrome"), or merely a need to vent to defeat pent-up tension? Or perhaps other reasons, both innocent and sinister?
There are individuals, like myself, who attempt strongly to avoid ever naming names, despite needing to vent at times.1 And of course, there are individuals who, suffering for whatever reason, have taken to lash out at specific individuals, berating them at every turn without mercy, as well a belittling anyone who dares to show opposition to their point of view.2
Why can people not agree to simply disagree? Why can people not agree to simply live and let live? I understand we need to find ways to release our anger and frustrations at times, but there are means of doing such without causing harm to specific individuals. I also understand we may wish to protect our friends, which can be a noble cause, but I think it depends how one proceeds in this regard, otherwise it may lead to simply causing drama.
"Trying to do the right thing, play it straight, but the right thing changes from state to state."
Soul Asylum3
I suppose that's exactly what this post is all about, really, is wondering why people do such things, when is it appropriate and not appropriate, and, in particular, a plea to ask people to avoid names and implications whenever possible, and to open up communications with those they may have trouble with, to try to resolve the issue directly rather than creating drama, if at all possible.
Insights and alternative perspectives are, as always, highly appreciated. ^.^