POV

[foxymcfox]

Okay, so this is completely unplanned (like most things I do), but something made me start typing at 4:20 in the morning. Maybe something is bugging me, I don't know. What I do know is that should you continue to read you will be along for the ride. Will we ever reach our destination? Who knows. What I do know is that the journey will be fun

Comments

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[anonymous]

Okay, so I know my opinion means shit to you, but hell you asked for feedback, so here it goes. It is my humble view that on a scale of One to Horribly Bad Pick-Up Lines, the phrase "I'm a hopless romantic" falls dangerously close to "Is there a mirror in your pocket cause I can see myself in your pants" This hopless romantic crap is like Santa Clause, a bizzare fictional notion you feed little kids to make them shut up. Except in this case, its brainless females. Now, I'm not trying to be the embodiment of Susan B. Anthony on speed or anything, this isnt a pro-feminist push. I'm not saying all guys are dogs trying to get girls sex. I'm just saying that those who try and feed them some crap about "hopeless romanticism" are bullshitting them. Unless you can honestly tell me you stood outside some girls window holding up a boom box blaring "In Your Eyes" I'm going to doubt youve ever done more then dream about all the wonderfully romantic things you could do to a girl, had you, say, the balls to go out and take a chance on one. Romantic crap means nothing to a girl. No one expects rose petals lining the carpet. If you just suck it up and talk to girls like they are intelligent human beings, your giving them much more then even Llyod Dobler could. You need to realize that girls don't all have the mentality of a lamp post. "Hopeless Romanticism" means nothing without a genuine concern for their well being. You should get some...Maybe thats why you dont date?

This cat's got claws

[foxymcfox]

Okay well I was going to do the boom box thing, turns out it leaked to Hollywood, and they stole it for a movie. Live and learn I guess.

Okay since you stayed anonymous I can only guess at your identity...there are only a handful of girls that I know that put things on a scale of 1 to (((insert relevant witisism here))). And only a handful of them who would beleive that their opinion is worthless to me.

First off, I don't beleive I ever compared any girl or her intelligence to a lamp post, but If I did I Apologize to any and all lamp posts I may have offended. See I can be witty too.

I don't see where you ever saw me say that I didn't have a concern for a girls well being, I have a concern for almost everyone's well being, save a few of course. I was never "fed" hopeless romantisism, I happened into it. I came to the conclusion that I was what society had dubbed hopelessly romantic through my interactions, and FEELINGS. Yes, that is right males often have feelings. So what you are saying is that I should only concern myself with a girl's well-being, while ignoring my very core. I am not faking romantisism here, I truly beleive in love at first sight. I feel, and believe that I will happen into love. Maybe she'll be a good friend of mine and one day it hits us. Maybe I will be in a Radio Shack looking for a 14 ohm resistor and she will help me find it. And in that moment I see love.

So, now you have the audacity to tell me that my 18 years of experiences, feelings, and gut instints are wrong? Feel free. But I know the truth, I know what I feel, and I know that those who doubt love's powers will never find it becuase they will ignore it. They settle for lust.

Lust is the part of you that tells you that nothing is worth waiting for. It is the "here and now" that I spoke of. I feel that you think I am confusing these two words 'love' and 'lust' trust me I haven't. For me, when I was younger being in love was not an ever present idea. (sob story, get your tissues) My Father walked out on me and my sister when we were quite young. He ran off to be with his secretary. And we speculate that he had a child out of wedlock with her. He never did marry her. Instead he married a woman for whom finger painting is too complex.

I didn't see what a couple in love looked like until my real father, my stepdad Tony came into my life, and married my Mother when I was five. That is five years, the most influential time in a child's life, the time when most notions about the world are created, that I spent without any idea of what love was/is. To say that I was force fed love is malarky.

You have obviously been hurt by someone or many someones. Maybe you hurt yourself. Whatever happened it would seem that something has turned you from trusting those who open themselves up to you. Maybe you have taken heart to the cynical view expressed so eleoquently by Friederich Nietzsche when he said, "Talking much about oneself can also be a means to conceal oneself." I'll tell you, this is not a method of concealing myself, you can trust me, despite what may have heppened to you in your past. Learn to have faith when it is most difficult, for it is in these times that the true nature of your character will shine. Those who blindly leap into the abyss only beleiving in a safety net will find one. Those who refuse to leap will never know the pleasure, the sense of adventure that awaits them in the dark.

If I have struck a nerve I am truly sorry. I am not a naturally vindictive person. It is just that when I am attacked, I must respond accordingly. But if ever you need a friend, I will be there for you. I ralize now that this could have easily been a new entry but it's too lat for that now, seeing as though it is 2:21. So with that I bid you all adeu and goodnight. May God bring you all wisdom far beyond your years.

^-^Foxy~>

Re: This cat's got claws

[anonymous]

No claws here, I swear. My posting wasn't meant to be an attack on you, nor your feelings. It was simply an attack on the notion of a hopeless romantic, which I, for one, can't understand. You yourself attack the idea of lust, but then talk of "love at first sight." What is that love based on? A quick glance from across the room, a hair toss, or an immediate attraction to a persons phsyical self? While it may look wonderful in black and white films, how is this a practical start to a relationship? It is my belief that a relationship should be based on a foundation of friendship, caring for one another, and the ability to make each other laugh. Not the most glamourous aspects, sure, but those are the foundation of all relationships. You talk of love, of wanting to get dressed up even if your not going anywhere, but how about the flip side of that? It is one thing to love someone at their best, and quite another to love them at their worst. Can you sit and talk with a girl when shes sick- sniffling and coughing in her flannel pajamas with her hair in a mess of a ponytail? You wont find this scene in any teeny-bopping eighties brat pack movie, but isnt that what real love is about? Being able to take out the sappy romantic fluff, and still care about the person with whats left. Even if its not the good stuff. They (although I'm not quite sure who "they" is) say that art imitates life, and perhaps the same is true of love. While Monets impressions certainly are breathtakingly beautiful, I for one, have never stumbled upon sparkling blue water and radiant flowers in a field. Its simply not real. Love like Manet- the realist who takes life at face value. Maybe my post came across as too angry, and I apolgize for that. I guess I just get fed up with the girls who swallow a notion of a "hopeless romantic" blindly, never questioning what real love may or may not be. To each his own definition of love I guess, and this is just one persons ramblings on the topic.

Re: This cat's got claws

[foxymcfox]

Okay, I see what you're saying, but you accuse me of things just becuase I never made mention of them. I simply gave the "hallmark" version of my hopeless romantisism. But I would never dream of simply leaving a girl on her own when she is sick. I could expound upon all of this more, but two days of long postings and sleepless nights take a lot out of my desire to write. I am just telling you to be careful of accusing people of things, just becuase they never mentioned them. Just becuase I never explicitly said that I wanted a strong relationship founded on friendship, being able to make each other laugh, and the like, you assumed that I wanted none of that. Be careful.

You brought up the idea of Monet and Manet, to me I tend to avoid Manet, he doesn't intrigue me. I for one have seen sparkling blue water, never radiant flowers in a field (I haven't been to many flower filled fields). When I am in an exceedingly good mood, and see a scene of beauty, I see what Monet painted. Just becuase you haven't seen it doesn't mean it doesn't exist. Have you ever seen a million dollars? I doubt it, but that doesn't mean that it doesn't exist.

I for one have seen too many of the standard "depressed teenage girl" who has completely given up on love becuase of one bad experience. An early relationship in which they so beleive in the concept of love that when it turns out that they have been lying to themselves the entire time they find it nearly impossible to pick themselves back up. Rarely if ever do I see a hopelessly romantic girl anymore (maybe you have a better position from which to state your point, but this is how I see it). I see far too many teenagers today simply concerned about "hook-ups." I honestly don't see the point, the idea of simply "hooking up" is not an intriguing idea to me. As I sad, I like the abyss, it brings intrigue, it brings wonder, it brings a sense of beauty that only Monet could have painted. It brings all those things, but only to those who venture into it.

^-^Foxy~>

Re: This cat's got claws

[anonymous]

Hy, this is Heaslip. Anonymous Person #3, I guess. Anyway, this is a classic idealist vs. cynic argument that I can't help but take interest in. Although Nick's more of a realist than you'd think from these posts. I've found myself agreeing with almost everything I read here, which is weird considering I started looking at it like it was an argument, but now I'm starting to realize that you're not really arguing contradicting points. It's possible to have realistic expectations and still strive for an ideal in the way you act --at least, that's what I always do.

As far as the hopeless romantic line goes, I cringe when I read it, but for a different reason than you think. Guys who use that kind of line to snag girls get no respect from me, but knowing Nick he's not just buying into a catchword. That being said, I would consider myself one if it wasn't for the 'hopeless' part. The only way it can be hopeless is if your overly high expectations make it so.

By the way, Anonymous #1, who are you, if I don't already know you? You seem like the kind of person I'd enjoy arguing talking with.

Re: This cat's got claws

[anonymous]

To follow Rick's revolutionary idea of identifying ourselves, this is Harry. So I am sitting here reading this seemingly controversial series of posts and I realized "I DONT CARE." Don't take this the wrong way. I don't mean that this is a waste of precious gigglebytes of data. I mean that I have only in BS conversations talked like this, and, believe me, I can toss the crap as well as anyone else. It seems like so many people try so hard to figure out a list of rules or an ironclad philosophy on how to live our romantic (gulp, i used that word) lives. Am I being totally naive or completely simplistic when I say that I go with the flow? The only real rule or system I follow is what seems right. (despite sometimes telling people otherwise because its what they want to hear) I know it must sound absolutely cheesy or something, but it seems like the people who follow their gut are the happiest. I'm not sure whether I'm trying to prove a point or not, I just felt the need to add my possibly simplified and probably illogical train of thought to this mix. It has seemed to work fairly well so far. I am not afraid to admit (likely because im not in the majority in this group(yes, im making fun of you(except nick who is very proud of his status))) that I am a virgin. It is not because I want to reach some state of nirvana through some form of self deprivation (not meant as criticism, i just seem to find happiness through balance b/t the "here and now" and the "down the road") or because I have failed in my excessively realist goal to screw anything with 2 or 4 legs. It is because even in situations where it may have been possible (i dont know. i didn't try), something wasn't right. Wrong girl? Wrong place? Wrong time? I don't know. I just feel that when its right that crazy voice they call a conscience will tell me. So, I'm still up in the air. Was I better with my philosophy of go with the flow, or is it better trying to capture something intangible in the bottle that is livejournal?

Feel free to respond to chizat it up with skipjack234.

Re: This cat's got claws

[anonymous]

I'm not going to lie, calling me the "standard depressed teenage girl" is a bit harsh. While I will admit to, on occassion, rocking out to some Avril in the car every once in a while, I am hardly classified as the manic depressive "I hate the world and all thats in it" scary punk emo chick. I promise. There has been no "one bad expierence that has forced me to give up on love." I am a strong supporter of love. I just fear for girls who fall for the wrong type of love. I do not consider myself a cynist, but rather someone who likes to look at things the way they are. I am going to concede to your point about hopeless romanticism, just because I don't think you want to respond to another long winded posting. I'm sure you have only the best intentions. But I will offer you the same advice you gave to me- be careful. You said in your original post that you followed nothing which did not have the potential for love. This comment worried me- how can one know? As human beings all we have is potential. There is potential in every single person you meet- potential for friendship, potential for a role model, potential for someone who makes you laugh so hard you cry, potential for someone you someday realize you care alot more about then you thought, and sure, the requisit potential for heartbreak. The potential for love isn't something you wear on your sleeve, like a Livestrong bracelet (thats actually your wrist, I guess), letting everyone know how you stand on the subject. Don't give up on people so soon. You never know when one day the "potential for love" you talked about will hit you. And when it does, feel free to be romantic, but also remember to be realistic. Girls aren't looking for the guy who will put their coat down over a puddle for them. Girls are looking for a guy who cares enough about them to say "Hey, watch the puddle." We can take it from there. And, if, by some horrible misfortune, neither of us sees the puddle, and we happen to fall in, soaking us to the core, girls want a guy who can look up, smile and say, "That look works for you."

ready for a nap

[anonymous]

Before I say anything meaningful, because I am not sure I am even capable of such a feat, I would just like to say that the few people who have been commenting and posting here are some of the brightest that I have ever had the fortune of listening to. You all had such deep and well argued points that my mind is still racing trying to catch up. Few people have ever made me feel so stupid when it comes to words, debates, and expressing feelings... but you all have shocked and tested me to expand my mind and I thank you.

Nick, this is once again your Anonymous classmate. Reading your original post gave me a hard slap to the face. I have developed an overwhelming respect for you that was not there before, perhaps because I never tried to understand you. As a fellow non drinker I agree with your views and would like to let you know that you are not alone. I have found that the hardest part of holding onto my values is the sense that I am alone, and knowing that someone else shares my principles is great reassurence.

As someone who has looked at you crosseyed or made many a sarcastic remark after a comment you have made in class I feel ashamed. You have reminded me of exactly what I have become, which is exactly what I had always wanted to avoid. Knowing that you would be targeted by your peers and still continuing to truely be youself is inspiring, and I promise that from now on you have my support and I have your back.

I know that I have much more that I wanted to say, but all of this reading and writing has taken alot out of me. I would like to leave you with a great thanks for one of the most well written and heartfelt pieces that I have ever read, and am looking forward to taking you up on many future conversations that you offered

Responses Galore

[foxymcfox]

Alright, well first off I would like to thank everyone for posting their comments. When I got the strange urge to start typing less than 48 hours ago, I never thought it would result in the response that it has. Now, that being said, I would like to adress all of the most recent "responders."

Heaslip: If I ever have a court case, I will most certainly turn to you to be a character witness should ever I need one. Are you available on the 29th, there's this whole sexual harrasment "thing." And might I say that you are a genious for putting a striketrhough effect in your feedback, that is truly magical to me, and I am a freakin' magician. You are extremely logical and your position is a very well thought out one.

Harry: Thanks for your open admission of virgindom. On the "End of Days" we will be given nice white robes and ushered into heaven, avoiding the mercilous punishing of the heathens we call friends. Your ability to be able to rationalize all that has been said is truly a gift. And I will take you up on your offer to chat online, man, I miss our 4 AM school night chats. Pretty much just us, exhaustion, and procrastination...good times.

Anonymous #3...if that is your real name: I never called you a "depressed teenage girl" I was merely stating what I had seen in most girls. I am sorry if my writing was unclear. I would be willing to chalk up the misunderstanding to sleep deprivation on my part.

Anonymnous: HEYYYYY! Good to see you around these parts again. I still have no clue who you are, but then again many people will never know who I am. I feel honored to have read your post. You have reminded me of some of the rarest aspects to people; the ability to rationalize, the ability to acknoledge ones mistakes, and the ability to change in accordance with their mistakes. That being said I don't believe that any "crosseyedness" or sarcastic comments on your part were a mistake. When I started acting "goofily" around 6th or 7th grade I did it so that I could observe people and their reactions...it's really fun, you should do it next time you are around a new group of people. I have discovered that sarcasm is the most natural of our responses. For you to respond in such a natural manner, you should not be ashamed. You were simply doing what you always do.

Things that are different than us make us feel uncomfortable, and sarcasm helps people to deal with the awkwardness in the situation. For making you feel ashamed of yourself I am sorry. I thank you for your shining words, and for "having my back." Seeing as though I don't plan to stop acting goofily any time soon, I'm sure I'll see who you are soon enough. Ask Heaslip...I can find people I know in a message borad with over 15,000 memebers. You seem to be a very intelligent person, which makes you rarity at our school. Sure there are many smart people, but very few are truly intelligent. And it would appear that most of the others who are intelligent are leaving me feedback too.

Well, I can see that my writing has deteriorated due to my lack of sleep. Stupid caffeine free soda! So I'll just post and hope that my words are true to their purpose. Good night, and good luck in all that you do.

^-^Foxy~>

PS: If I misquoted or misattributed anything I am sorry, I am doing 90 % of this from memory since I can only see one of the responses.