driving fastly past you in slow motion
things have been weird lately, i dont know if its me or the both of us. This whole me not being able to trust him is causing daily problems with us. Its your fault. If ih ad never found out you cheated on me after all that time of believeing you didnt i wouldnt be like this. I could have trusted him. I love him, more than i loved love you, in a diffrent, healthy way. He says he loves me more. Why doesnt he treat me that way. I hate writing in my livejournal whining. I try not to whine anymore, bitch as much, not smile, be clingy. I try alot of things. You say Ive changed i have. You did it to me, good? bad? I dont know what i was before, i dont even think i could be that again. I try to remeber the past 2 years of my life. I blocked it out I only remeber Disney World-the happiest day of my life with you. I wish i could go to disney, climb rocks in hawaii and sleep with kevin for the rest of my life. Why do i feel so alone when i have everyone around me all the time. AHH i hate this. And i cant find a car that is good for me. Which is just stressing me out really. I want to move out and have kevin support me, i hate working, i love money im in a predicament. Waking up with him........I would give up anything to wake up with him and sleep in his sent all morning while he's at work. Dammit. hug me please. Night.