Dear Cory,
My goodbye letter to Cory. Tonight is the memorial episode, and this will probably also be the last episode I will ever watch. Some people asked if I could post it on Tumblr and LJ…So here it is.
Dear Cory,
You helped me. You helped me so much. I will never be able to thank you for that. It’s been nearly three months since I was woken up by a text from my friend. The first text said ‘Is it true?’ Then I received another text; that said ‘Has it been confirmed?’ I didn’t know what was going on. But then I received the last text message.
‘Cory Monteith is dead.’
I didn’t believe it. It had to be some sick joke. It had to be. You couldn’t be dead? You were just fine; you just left rehab and you were about to get married with Lea. This couldn’t be real. Please, God or someone else. This couldn’t be real.
I decided to check out the internet, and what I found there…. I had never seen an entire internet community so broken. You were actually gone. It wasn’t some hoax or joke. It was real life.
I want to explain to you why you helped me so much. When it was the summer break just before the second season started airing…I was busy watching Glee. It made me so happy. I loved the show so much. It was the best show out there.
Back then. I was in a bad place. I had shit going on in life and sometimes I just didn’t see the point of it anymore. But then there was one thing that kept me going. Glee. It was some stupid show about a group of outcast teens who sang songs about everything. From show tunes to rap. I fell in love with it. This was amazing. I fell in love with you and the other cast.
No, Finn wasn’t my favourite character. He really wasn’t. But I loved him. And I also loved you.
One thing. One little thing that always stood out for me. There was one episode; it was in the middle of the first season and Kurt had persuaded Finn to sing this song. This beautiful song. I’ll Stand By You. That song. In my opinion that was the best performance on glee ever. You were amazing. This was the one time that I actually understood and could relate to Finn. He was just a young lost boy; who only had to clean up everybody else’s and their own messes. All alone against the world.
This song is the only song I never removed from my iPod. I have always loved, and always will.
Glee saved my life; it changed everything for the better for me. I found online communities that are amazing. I wouldn’t even have found my Star Trek writing group without Glee. Without you. Because Glee isn’t Glee when you’re not in it. That’s why I will probably will stop watching the rest of the season after this week. I just cannot handle it. I can’t imagine Glee without Finn. There’s no Finn without Cory. I just can’t do it. Perhaps, one day I will be able to watch the rest of the show, but this is the moment where I quit. I can’t see the choir room without you singing songs and with your awful dance moves.
I still don’t believe you’re dead. It’s all so unreal to me. You can’t be dead. You inspired…and continue to inspire me every day. You were the lost kid that didn’t have anything else; you are nothing of importance. You had a dream. That’s all you had. And you made it. You fulfilled that dream. You did the impossible and did what you loved.
That story; it will always motivate me to keep on going. I am nothing. I am just a random girl who likes to draw and write. That’s it. But I can do it. You did.
I just listened to the songs for your memorial episode. They are beautiful. Amber did a great version of I’ll Stand By You. It broke my heart in a million pieces. It was perfect. You would have loved it. I think you would have.
In a couple of days the episode airs. Honestly, I don’t know if I can watch that. I will watch it… for you. I can do it for you. I will have to pull through. I am probably going to cry buckets of tears, but that’s okay. Because you will stand by me. It’s going to be a tough watch, but I can do it.
I never thought that your death would affect me this way. Truth to be told, I never thought about the fact that you could die. It seemed so unreal to me. I thought about actors passing away; I wondered how I would be affected when I read in about 40 years that one of the Glee cast had passed away. I didn’t want to imagine that and totally ignored it.
I never thought that this day would come so early. I am not even twenty yet. I thought I would be old and have settled down somewhere. I would hear it on the radio or whatever we will have in the future that one of you had passed away in your sleep. Why did life have to be like this? It’s unfair. It’s oh so unfair. You didn’t deserve to end like this. But I won’t remember you as the actor who died of drugs. No, I will remember you as this amazing person who inspired countless people with his spirit and enthusiasm. The man who battled an awful addiction for his entire life, but he sadly lost. But he went down fighting. You never gave up. You kept on fighting for it until the very end.
I want to think you for touching my life and all the other lives you’ve touched. For inspiring me. For living. For being Finn in Glee. For singing I’ll Stand By You.
I never had and never will have the chance to thank you for what you did for me. Never meeting you will always be the one thing I will regret. But it’s okay. I am okay with that.
Thank you for touching my life.
I love you Cory,
Rest in peace.
Dear Cory,
You helped me. You helped me so much. I will never be able to thank you for that. It’s been nearly three months since I was woken up by a text from my friend. The first text said ‘Is it true?’ Then I received another text; that said ‘Has it been confirmed?’ I didn’t know what was going on. But then I received the last text message.
‘Cory Monteith is dead.’
I didn’t believe it. It had to be some sick joke. It had to be. You couldn’t be dead? You were just fine; you just left rehab and you were about to get married with Lea. This couldn’t be real. Please, God or someone else. This couldn’t be real.
I decided to check out the internet, and what I found there…. I had never seen an entire internet community so broken. You were actually gone. It wasn’t some hoax or joke. It was real life.
I want to explain to you why you helped me so much. When it was the summer break just before the second season started airing…I was busy watching Glee. It made me so happy. I loved the show so much. It was the best show out there.
Back then. I was in a bad place. I had shit going on in life and sometimes I just didn’t see the point of it anymore. But then there was one thing that kept me going. Glee. It was some stupid show about a group of outcast teens who sang songs about everything. From show tunes to rap. I fell in love with it. This was amazing. I fell in love with you and the other cast.
No, Finn wasn’t my favourite character. He really wasn’t. But I loved him. And I also loved you.
One thing. One little thing that always stood out for me. There was one episode; it was in the middle of the first season and Kurt had persuaded Finn to sing this song. This beautiful song. I’ll Stand By You. That song. In my opinion that was the best performance on glee ever. You were amazing. This was the one time that I actually understood and could relate to Finn. He was just a young lost boy; who only had to clean up everybody else’s and their own messes. All alone against the world.
This song is the only song I never removed from my iPod. I have always loved, and always will.
Glee saved my life; it changed everything for the better for me. I found online communities that are amazing. I wouldn’t even have found my Star Trek writing group without Glee. Without you. Because Glee isn’t Glee when you’re not in it. That’s why I will probably will stop watching the rest of the season after this week. I just cannot handle it. I can’t imagine Glee without Finn. There’s no Finn without Cory. I just can’t do it. Perhaps, one day I will be able to watch the rest of the show, but this is the moment where I quit. I can’t see the choir room without you singing songs and with your awful dance moves.
I still don’t believe you’re dead. It’s all so unreal to me. You can’t be dead. You inspired…and continue to inspire me every day. You were the lost kid that didn’t have anything else; you are nothing of importance. You had a dream. That’s all you had. And you made it. You fulfilled that dream. You did the impossible and did what you loved.
That story; it will always motivate me to keep on going. I am nothing. I am just a random girl who likes to draw and write. That’s it. But I can do it. You did.
I just listened to the songs for your memorial episode. They are beautiful. Amber did a great version of I’ll Stand By You. It broke my heart in a million pieces. It was perfect. You would have loved it. I think you would have.
In a couple of days the episode airs. Honestly, I don’t know if I can watch that. I will watch it… for you. I can do it for you. I will have to pull through. I am probably going to cry buckets of tears, but that’s okay. Because you will stand by me. It’s going to be a tough watch, but I can do it.
I never thought that your death would affect me this way. Truth to be told, I never thought about the fact that you could die. It seemed so unreal to me. I thought about actors passing away; I wondered how I would be affected when I read in about 40 years that one of the Glee cast had passed away. I didn’t want to imagine that and totally ignored it.
I never thought that this day would come so early. I am not even twenty yet. I thought I would be old and have settled down somewhere. I would hear it on the radio or whatever we will have in the future that one of you had passed away in your sleep. Why did life have to be like this? It’s unfair. It’s oh so unfair. You didn’t deserve to end like this. But I won’t remember you as the actor who died of drugs. No, I will remember you as this amazing person who inspired countless people with his spirit and enthusiasm. The man who battled an awful addiction for his entire life, but he sadly lost. But he went down fighting. You never gave up. You kept on fighting for it until the very end.
I want to think you for touching my life and all the other lives you’ve touched. For inspiring me. For living. For being Finn in Glee. For singing I’ll Stand By You.
I never had and never will have the chance to thank you for what you did for me. Never meeting you will always be the one thing I will regret. But it’s okay. I am okay with that.
Thank you for touching my life.
I love you Cory,
Rest in peace.