Joy is a flower that blooms when you do
Last week was one dark and gloomy week. And it began with a pretty awful weekend to Atlanta, GA for AKPsi's Success Institute. It was cloudy, rainy, and the traffic is difficult to comprehend after being so used to that of Gainesville. I went with my friend Cameron who made it bearable. We're becoming really close and I love the adventures that she gets me into. And I do entirely blame her for being in them. On a small upside to Atlanta, I saw my big sis, Alex. I miss her a lot. I don't know what came over me, but I told her every thing when I saw her. Okay, I left out the part that I've had sex, but I actually think I might tell her. It just felt so nice to be honest. It is so tiring pretending I'm someone else just to avoid feeling like a failure because I don't agree with my families's views/morals. Also, Alex's apartment is so pretty. I love how she decorated it. And there was a painting Cameron and I were admiring and then my sister reminded me I painted it! I didnt even remember, man I really wish I had time to do that again. Now I really want to go back to Atlanta with Christy. And stay at my sisters. I wouldnt want to bring Laura. I just think she is averse to staying at my sister's because she wants to just be drunk and have fun. But I think there's more to Atlanta. However getting Christy to enjoy its nature might be quite a task.
Then there were all of last week's tests. I stayed at the library all day long. I havent gotten back my economics test yet, but I got a B on finance!!! A massive improvement from the last test's D grade. I'm immensely proud of myself. And I am rewarding myself by getting a massage tomorrow. With last week in the past, I can enjoy this week and get excited for my springbreak in JAMAICA!!!! oh I just can't wait! There is sooo much to do, to pack, to get prepared for. Finance is already starting to put a damper on my excitement. Turns out we have an exam 2 weeks after break and with 4 chapters! thats a lot of prac. questions so I have to start now. BOO.
I saw many old friends and it was so much fun catching up. I saw Mollie, Alok, and Rachel Wang. I talked to Andrew, Shalu, Neil, and Andy. I'm doing very well on #15 and progressing nicely on #9. Oh, and I'm cooking! I started easy w/ those Campbell soup recipes but the main factor is I'm not being lazy and i'm consuming food.
Eileen called me, she broke up w/ her bf and wanted someone to listen to her to give her advice/comfort. Usually, when my friends call upon me for this service, it makes me feel special. Special because they choose me to share their problems, to just talk about whats on their mind, to ask for advice. But Eileen aren't close anymore. Yes we used to be, but I hadn't even spoken w/ her since Christmas and before that since Summer break. I felt like a stranger was pouring her heart out to me, and all I could say was "um yeah thats sad". I am proud of her, she has grown and matured so much from her past relationships but I dont feel like I could help her and I felt uncomfortable being told about her life/feelings b/c I dont know her like that anymore. I wonder if thats horrible of me, but I dont feel as if she would be able to comfort me in any way either. For that, I'm so glad I have Christy.
Well anyways, I went outside today and the sun was out and it was warm and I felt happy. I was blooming and most definately felt joy.