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Sep 11, 2011 16:43


I need a release, a cleansing, a purging of myself. I am not sure how to get about it. Last night my dreams were such a wonderful reprieve from the constant guilt that is now burning in my mind. I was in an open plaza, a small one, with a square of wrought iron balconies which looked down on me. It was dark, but not daunting. The sky was a deep blue, the stars were shining brightly as was the moon, but the plaza itself was shadowed by the building which surrounded it, and trees which people were growing on pots ballooned over the sides.
  Eyes peeked out of the side of a wrought iron gate. A girl stood there, ageless -- wild. Her eyes were large, unnerving. She was color-less, angelic. I was in a state of anxiety and she could sense it some how, I knew she could. I stared at her and all of a sudden I was.. well I can't explain it. it was a progression of time and feelings and I was outside of myself then, standing with her. We did this a couple of times, going from balcony to balcony, we ended up in an old barn, high on its beams, watching myself at a different time. I had escaped myself and I cried from relief. "It isn't real," she said, "anyone can do this, its only a part of your mind, focus." And then I was myself again, in the barn, this time amongs the hay. There were gaping holes among its walls, its roof, everything was falling apart except the structure itself, the beams which looked down on it and the posts that kept it up. It was nighttime still, and a terrible storm was about to come. I grew scared again, and looked for the elfen like girl who had left me here. Before the storm came fog creeped in through the holes, coming from every direction. It was beautiful, really, other worldly. The stars shone through in long streaks, the moon seemed a reflection, the fog lingered in tendrils at the top of the barn. I caught her eye then, and she helped me escape again. There I was, watching myself tremble, but I, the conscious "I" was back on the beams, dancing in the fog, and once the rain came I layed with my arms hanging over the beam and let it drench me, smiling.

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