Omegle=awesome?
So Tailsy and I just fucking ransacked this Omegle thing (here) for kicks. It's basically set up to automatically connect you to a stranger, so you start talking. I'm compiling the most hilarious ones here. U:
This one is, by far, the best one ever. I'm seriously in love with Ricky.
You: hi!
Stranger: pachycephalosaurus
You: oh my god i think i love you
Stranger: inorite?
You: totally
You: talk dinosaur to me some more
Stranger: Rawr
Stranger: I'm Ricky the Allosaur
Stranger: I'm 147 years old
Stranger: from Pangea
You: What a fine specimen
Stranger: a/s/l?
You: Nancy the Brontosaurus
You: only 42, still young ;)
Stranger: oh wow
Stranger: I think I just jizzed myself
You: oh baby we are a match made in heaven
Stranger: if I got some pics of you
Stranger: that's like cp for dinos
You: i don't know, i'm a little shy
Stranger: Oh shit
Stranger: Pinchy the Procompsognathus just stole one of my eggs
Stranger: COME BACK HERE YOU NIGGER
You: That son of a bitch! The same thing happened to me last week.
Stranger: Damn. He got away. Same guy?
You: Same guy.
You: Someone should do something about him.
You: You know anybody?
Stranger: I could hold a council meeting with Brokehorn the Triceratops
Stranger: We'll catch that little rascal
You: Oh, thank god there's big strong dinosaurs like you around!
Stranger: Not ta worry, miss
Stranger: You may carry on with your evening.
You: Thank you so much, Ricky.
Stranger: Good-night, Nancy
This was the first one I got. I:
"Stranger: im your male slave now, what you want me to do?
i would like u said thing i can do in real life"
Second try.
Stranger: hi
You: Hi. Are you not a creep? Last time I got a creep."
Stranger: no
Stranger: promise
Stranger: are you a gil?
You: Wtf is a gil
Same convo. I took the opportunity to impart some wisdom on the omeglers.
Stranger: im tired of talking to guys
You: You know, you're probably talking to a guy now.
You: Everyone on the internet is a dirty pervert, you know.
You: They pretend to be girls because they're queer.
Stranger: where you from?
You: Wisconsin. Land of dairy products. And fat people.
Stranger: haha
Stranger: please tell me you're not one of them )
Stranger: you're one of the skinny ones
You: I could tell you, but you wouldn't be able to tell if I was lying.
You: People lie on the internet a lot, you know.
This happened to Tailsy.
Stranger: r u black
You: yes
Stranger: I HATE U
Tailsy being awesome:
Stranger: hi
You: Hi
You: Want to go out?
Stranger: where
You: With me, silly (:
Stranger: tell me abt yr self first
You: Well
Stranger: m/f
You: I'm a girl
You: My name is Regina, and I really enjoy going out shooting every now and then
You: It's actually my job
You: Not animals, though.
You: People.
You: I'm a hitwoman
You: Awesome. (: No sex before marriage, though. Just, fyi. Also, I'm gay. So I hope you're a woman.
Stranger: yes i am
You: You're cool with a gay relationship?
Stranger: yea
You: Are you gay? Or just doing it because I'm a sexy hitwoman?
The funny part about this one is Tailsy didn't know what was going on, either:
Stranger: i just ate corn
You: Ohh you blessed child.
You: The golden starch of wisdom!
Stranger: really?
You: Devoured, by your mortal soul!
Stranger: thank you
You: You see, child, Corn is the ultimate answer to life.
Stranger: of course
Stranger: but what happens if i mix aspirin with a can of coke and drink it up
You: From it's emerald shell and golden heart, it bestows the answers to life's mysteries upon us!
You: You would die.
Stranger: are you the 'mother' in sanitarium?
Stranger: i always wanted to talk to you.
You: Well, you have gotten your wish, Child.
Stranger: i wanted to ask you if you want some instant curry
You: Ohh, of course. It's delicious.
Stranger: but it's instant, mother
Stranger: it has notorious stuff mother
You: Child, do not worry yourself.
Stranger: such as monosodium glutamate
You: Blessed monosodium glutamate! It is one of Corn's Apostles, Child!
Stranger: oh thank you mother
Yeah, it's up there:
You: Just to let you know, I'm gay.
You: I love me some tits
Stranger: lol well i love tits too
Stranger: so dont feel alone
You: Alright, awesome.
You: Vag is awesome too. But tits are just like, fucking magic
Stranger: i love the taste of a wet vag
Stranger: its the best
You: Not as good as Swedish Fish
You: But still up there
THIS HAPPENED TO ME TOO MUCH. WHY DOESN'T ANYONE KNOW?
You: Do you know the way to San Jose?
Your conversational partner has disconnected.
And then I tried asking someone trying to talk through a translator:
You: hiii!
Stranger: hi
You: so what's up?
Stranger: chat
Stranger: ~..whatever who knows~
You: oh, how mysterious
You: hey listen, can you do me a favor?
Stranger: favor
You: Do you know the way to San Jose?
Stranger: o am
Stranger: am sorry
You: well, it was worth a try
You: how about down to Kokomo?
Stranger: star·～
You: are you retarded
Stranger: ok
Stranger: 。。maybe
You: i think that is a resounding "YES"
You: i mean like, do they let retards use computers?
Stranger: why～
You: i thought that was illegal
Stranger: o～。。。so you like Kokomo
Stranger: I am not familiar with this
You: i don't like it if i'm talking to a retard
You: seriously
You: are you even like, reading this?
You: i'm insulting you
You: moron
Stranger: You are too bad manners
You: I think you need to find a better online translator, retard
Your conversational partner has disconnected.
And Tailsy tried translators, too:
Stranger: china.
You: I'm not China. Are you China?
Stranger: yea im
You: English. Do you speak it mutha fucka?
I also insulted guys. A lot.
You: creep only refers to things with dicks
Stranger: haha ohh really?
You: yeah, you use other words for chicks
Stranger: like stalkers
You: yes
You: exactly
Stranger: haha ya i hate girls that wont leave me alone
You: i'm sure it's not a problem for you
You: ZING mofo!
Everyone was gay.
Stranger: hey
You: Hi there
You: Are you a dude?
Stranger: yea
You: So you have a penis
Stranger: yea
You: Is it veiny?
Stranger: can i put my finger in your asshole?
You: You are not allowed near my asshole.
Stranger: AWWW
You: Is.
You: Your penis
You: Veiny?
You: This is very important
Your conversational partner has disconnected.
This one was my other favorite.
Stranger: hi
You: hey, are you gay?
You: because i am totally gay
Stranger: yeah
You: like, i-watch-bravo-and-even-logo gay
Stranger: nice
Stranger: so you wouldn't be offended by seeing my pic?
You: no i don't want to see your pic
You: what the hell
You: what do you think this is
You: a whorehouse?
You: no
Stranger: mmm
Stranger: mayb
You: i was just sharing
You: excuse me for making conversation
You: the correct followup would be
Stranger: see my pic at lemonparty.org
You: "oh hey, i watch that too! have you ever seen real housewives? I love that show!"
You: i do love that show
You: if you had been more polite about it, maybe i would have looked at your pic
You: and i wouldn't have even made any comments about it
You: i mean, any negative ones
You: i would have been polite
You: but now you're just out of luck
Kelsey says:
then he sent me a text picture of rick astley
You: you missed out on a catch, mofo.
You: you missed out on a CATCH
You have disconnected.
Also, I'm a gangsta.
You: hiii
Stranger: yo
You: sup dawg?
You: keepin' it real?
Stranger: yea
You: yea, me too
You: i'm 2 legit 2 kwit
Stranger: where from?
You: your mother
You: whooaaa, burn, dawg!
You: too slow for that one, foo
Stranger: i knew it
You: You've been there too?
You: pretty big, i guess, but not bad considering
Stranger: u rela gangsta bitch?
You: she makes me feel like a real man, u kno?
Stranger: real*
You: fuck yeah i'm real gangsta! i can even spell that shit!
Stranger: :D :D :D
Stranger: fuck u
You: fuck your mother
You: wait, i already have
More insulting guys.
You: penis or vagina? "p/v?" how's that?
Stranger: uhm... I see...
Stranger: You're a "cool" and friendly wanker. And I should like you for it.
You: you're avoiding the question
You: obviously you have something to hide
You: that's okay, man
You: this is the internet
You: we are accepting of all types
Stranger: Oh...
Stranger: I guess... I guess I should tell you the truth...
Stranger: I'm a transvestite and you just lost the game.
You: you mother fucker!
Kelsey says:
and then i disconnected
Annnnd the desperate who-knows-what-gender.
Stranger: hey
Stranger: i like sex
Stranger: f
Stranger: bi
Stranger: u?
You: oh. wow. that was, uh, straightforward
You: are you asking for sex?
You: or was that just like
You: "getting to know you 101"
Stranger: idk
Stranger: depends
You: ...on what?
You: obviously you don't care about genders
You: so what the hell does it depend on?
Stranger: on you willing to have cyber
Stranger: on you willing to have cyber or not
You: idk
You: i might be too much for you
Stranger: are you a girl or boy
You: bitch you ain't never seen dick like this
Stranger: ok
You: that's not how you do it, man
You: you go "ohh yeah baby that's the biggest i've ever seen"
You: "can i have some more, sir"
Stranger: haha
You: this isn't a laughing matter
You: this is my dick, bitch
Your conversational partner has disconnected.
(And I thought I was doing pretty well, too. D: )
Alright, let's try this cybering shit again. Tailsy me wanted to do a robe/wizard hat one.
You: hi!
Stranger: hey
You: wassup? :)
Stranger: r u male or female
You: female
You: is that bad?
Stranger: no r u straght les or bi
You: idk bi i guess?
You: i have a gf now tho
Stranger: ohh im a female and m bi too
You: ohh, that's cool
Stranger: have u ever tried cyper sex
You: i think it's "cyber"
You: and yeah a couple of times
Stranger: yeah srry bout that hey do u want to try it with me
You: idk, are you into dinosaurs?
Stranger: uhh y
You: i like dinosaurs
You: its ok if you aren't
You: i mean, they're just really cool
Stranger: i am sort of
Stranger: do u want to try the cyber sex
You: sure
You: can i be a dinosaur?
Stranger: sorry but no u have to b ur beautiful self
You: well, shit
Stranger: ok u start
You: ummm what do i do
Stranger: havent u ever done cyber sex
You: well it was a while ago
Stranger: allright ill start
Stranger: ok im kissing passionatly while taking off ur shrt
You: ohh that's hot
You: i put on my robe and wizard hat
Stranger: now i take ur pants off
You: I cast Lvl. 3 Eroticism. You turn into a real beautiful woman.
You: I meditate to regain my mana, before casting Lvl. 8 Coc--pussy of the Infinite.
Stranger: wow thanks now take my clothes off
You: hold on i'm not ready yet
You: I spend my mana reserves to cast Mighty F*ck of the Beyondness.
Stranger: fine i take ur underwear off
You: I steal yo soul and cast Lightning Lvl. 1,000,000 Your body explodes into a fine bloody mist, because you are only a Lvl. 2 Druid.
Stranger: now unstrap ur bra
You: Robots are trying to drill my brain but my lightning shield inflicts DOA attack, leaving the robots as flaming piles of metal.
Your conversational partner has disconnected.
(...the worst part is, I was copying and pasting, and got that far before they gave up.)
I don't even know what this is. I'm just shocked it went on this long.
You: hi!
Stranger: YO!
You: what's up man!?
Stranger: Donde esta?
You: que?
You: i mean what?
Stranger: Spanish is for stupids
You: damn right
You: i ain't no stupids
Stranger: dammmmmn straight
You: yeah, super straight
Stranger: Do you hate Honkeys as much as I do?
You: fuck yeah i do
You: fuck honkeys (What the fuck is a honkey? "insult to white people. same as whitey and cracker, but no white person is offended by these words no matter who is saying them. unless u call a wigger a honkey. then they get pissed." ...huh, I'm not retarded. No wonder I didn't know.)
Stranger: Im gonan start a group called Honkey killers anonymous
Stranger: you in?
You: totally
You: this is definitely the best place to recruit for that, too
You: man i bet there's like, a million people already right?
Stranger: hels to the yeah
You: you missed an l i think
Stranger: We have jackets and shit
Stranger: DONT CORRECT ME BITCH!!!!!
You: fuck man, how do i get a jacket?!
Stranger: i dont mean that im sorry
You: i'm nobody's bitch
You: you'd better be sorry
Stranger: you have to kill 20 honkeys
You: i won't join your stupid club if you're gonna insult me like that shit
Stranger: cracker ass crackers
You: only 20? shit son
You: you're setting your standards kind of low man!
Stranger: thats for the jacket
Stranger: ask how many for the watch
You: how many for the watch?
You: you didn't mention the watch before
Stranger: 6.25 trillion
You: oh, is that all
Stranger: its a nice fucking watch
You: yeah i bet it is
You: only high quality shit for our club
You: amirite?
You: right?
You: right?
Stranger: its made of Space Rhino
You: oh i love that shit
You: totally deluxe
Stranger: totally
You: where'd you get it?
Stranger: uhhh space...duh
You: oh yeah
Stranger: geez
Stranger: can't teach you anything rookie
You: sorry man, sorry
You: i'm trying, man
You: i'mma work my way up the ranks
Stranger: im gonna have to demote you and take away your ostrich riding priviledges
You: oh fuck no!
You: please, bossman!
You: give me another chance!
Stranger: i dunno
You: please, man, i'll do anything
You: you think 6.25 trillion is a lot, you ain't seen nothing yet
Stranger: amateur hour
You: exactly man, exactly
You: i can do so much better
You: you've just gotta let me
You: please, godfather!
Stranger: im not sure im willing to give you the chance
Stranger: You have failed me for the last time
You: you want i kiss your ring?
You: you want i shine your shoes?
You: i'll do anything
Stranger: Kiss my shows and shine my ring
Stranger: shoes*
Stranger: then take out my garbage
Stranger: pick up my dry cleaning
Stranger: feed my pet pandas
Stranger: and my pet snake
Stranger: do not feed them the pandas please
Stranger: I will also need you to pick upa few things from the store for me
Stranger: A marky mark autographed poster
Stranger: 4 gallons of mayo
Stranger: and 17 syringes
Stranger: can this get done?
You: yes sir, i am happy to do it
You: ...do the syringes have to be new?
You: 'cause i can get the used ones for cheap
Stranger: oh my god...Do you really have to ask?
Stranger: I want used ones from hobos duuuuuuh?
Stranger: its like you dont even know me at all
You: i'm sorry, mang, i'm working on it
(I think this one is the most retarded.)
This one is, by far, the best one ever. I'm seriously in love with Ricky.
You: hi!
Stranger: pachycephalosaurus
You: oh my god i think i love you
Stranger: inorite?
You: totally
You: talk dinosaur to me some more
Stranger: Rawr
Stranger: I'm Ricky the Allosaur
Stranger: I'm 147 years old
Stranger: from Pangea
You: What a fine specimen
Stranger: a/s/l?
You: Nancy the Brontosaurus
You: only 42, still young ;)
Stranger: oh wow
Stranger: I think I just jizzed myself
You: oh baby we are a match made in heaven
Stranger: if I got some pics of you
Stranger: that's like cp for dinos
You: i don't know, i'm a little shy
Stranger: Oh shit
Stranger: Pinchy the Procompsognathus just stole one of my eggs
Stranger: COME BACK HERE YOU NIGGER
You: That son of a bitch! The same thing happened to me last week.
Stranger: Damn. He got away. Same guy?
You: Same guy.
You: Someone should do something about him.
You: You know anybody?
Stranger: I could hold a council meeting with Brokehorn the Triceratops
Stranger: We'll catch that little rascal
You: Oh, thank god there's big strong dinosaurs like you around!
Stranger: Not ta worry, miss
Stranger: You may carry on with your evening.
You: Thank you so much, Ricky.
Stranger: Good-night, Nancy
This was the first one I got. I:
"Stranger: im your male slave now, what you want me to do?
i would like u said thing i can do in real life"
Second try.
Stranger: hi
You: Hi. Are you not a creep? Last time I got a creep."
Stranger: no
Stranger: promise
Stranger: are you a gil?
You: Wtf is a gil
Same convo. I took the opportunity to impart some wisdom on the omeglers.
Stranger: im tired of talking to guys
You: You know, you're probably talking to a guy now.
You: Everyone on the internet is a dirty pervert, you know.
You: They pretend to be girls because they're queer.
Stranger: where you from?
You: Wisconsin. Land of dairy products. And fat people.
Stranger: haha
Stranger: please tell me you're not one of them )
Stranger: you're one of the skinny ones
You: I could tell you, but you wouldn't be able to tell if I was lying.
You: People lie on the internet a lot, you know.
This happened to Tailsy.
Stranger: r u black
You: yes
Stranger: I HATE U
Tailsy being awesome:
Stranger: hi
You: Hi
You: Want to go out?
Stranger: where
You: With me, silly (:
Stranger: tell me abt yr self first
You: Well
Stranger: m/f
You: I'm a girl
You: My name is Regina, and I really enjoy going out shooting every now and then
You: It's actually my job
You: Not animals, though.
You: People.
You: I'm a hitwoman
You: Awesome. (: No sex before marriage, though. Just, fyi. Also, I'm gay. So I hope you're a woman.
Stranger: yes i am
You: You're cool with a gay relationship?
Stranger: yea
You: Are you gay? Or just doing it because I'm a sexy hitwoman?
The funny part about this one is Tailsy didn't know what was going on, either:
Stranger: i just ate corn
You: Ohh you blessed child.
You: The golden starch of wisdom!
Stranger: really?
You: Devoured, by your mortal soul!
Stranger: thank you
You: You see, child, Corn is the ultimate answer to life.
Stranger: of course
Stranger: but what happens if i mix aspirin with a can of coke and drink it up
You: From it's emerald shell and golden heart, it bestows the answers to life's mysteries upon us!
You: You would die.
Stranger: are you the 'mother' in sanitarium?
Stranger: i always wanted to talk to you.
You: Well, you have gotten your wish, Child.
Stranger: i wanted to ask you if you want some instant curry
You: Ohh, of course. It's delicious.
Stranger: but it's instant, mother
Stranger: it has notorious stuff mother
You: Child, do not worry yourself.
Stranger: such as monosodium glutamate
You: Blessed monosodium glutamate! It is one of Corn's Apostles, Child!
Stranger: oh thank you mother
Yeah, it's up there:
You: Just to let you know, I'm gay.
You: I love me some tits
Stranger: lol well i love tits too
Stranger: so dont feel alone
You: Alright, awesome.
You: Vag is awesome too. But tits are just like, fucking magic
Stranger: i love the taste of a wet vag
Stranger: its the best
You: Not as good as Swedish Fish
You: But still up there
THIS HAPPENED TO ME TOO MUCH. WHY DOESN'T ANYONE KNOW?
You: Do you know the way to San Jose?
Your conversational partner has disconnected.
And then I tried asking someone trying to talk through a translator:
You: hiii!
Stranger: hi
You: so what's up?
Stranger: chat
Stranger: ~..whatever who knows~
You: oh, how mysterious
You: hey listen, can you do me a favor?
Stranger: favor
You: Do you know the way to San Jose?
Stranger: o am
Stranger: am sorry
You: well, it was worth a try
You: how about down to Kokomo?
Stranger: star·～
You: are you retarded
Stranger: ok
Stranger: 。。maybe
You: i think that is a resounding "YES"
You: i mean like, do they let retards use computers?
Stranger: why～
You: i thought that was illegal
Stranger: o～。。。so you like Kokomo
Stranger: I am not familiar with this
You: i don't like it if i'm talking to a retard
You: seriously
You: are you even like, reading this?
You: i'm insulting you
You: moron
Stranger: You are too bad manners
You: I think you need to find a better online translator, retard
Your conversational partner has disconnected.
And Tailsy tried translators, too:
Stranger: china.
You: I'm not China. Are you China?
Stranger: yea im
You: English. Do you speak it mutha fucka?
I also insulted guys. A lot.
You: creep only refers to things with dicks
Stranger: haha ohh really?
You: yeah, you use other words for chicks
Stranger: like stalkers
You: yes
You: exactly
Stranger: haha ya i hate girls that wont leave me alone
You: i'm sure it's not a problem for you
You: ZING mofo!
Everyone was gay.
Stranger: hey
You: Hi there
You: Are you a dude?
Stranger: yea
You: So you have a penis
Stranger: yea
You: Is it veiny?
Stranger: can i put my finger in your asshole?
You: You are not allowed near my asshole.
Stranger: AWWW
You: Is.
You: Your penis
You: Veiny?
You: This is very important
Your conversational partner has disconnected.
This one was my other favorite.
Stranger: hi
You: hey, are you gay?
You: because i am totally gay
Stranger: yeah
You: like, i-watch-bravo-and-even-logo gay
Stranger: nice
Stranger: so you wouldn't be offended by seeing my pic?
You: no i don't want to see your pic
You: what the hell
You: what do you think this is
You: a whorehouse?
You: no
Stranger: mmm
Stranger: mayb
You: i was just sharing
You: excuse me for making conversation
You: the correct followup would be
Stranger: see my pic at lemonparty.org
You: "oh hey, i watch that too! have you ever seen real housewives? I love that show!"
You: i do love that show
You: if you had been more polite about it, maybe i would have looked at your pic
You: and i wouldn't have even made any comments about it
You: i mean, any negative ones
You: i would have been polite
You: but now you're just out of luck
Kelsey says:
then he sent me a text picture of rick astley
You: you missed out on a catch, mofo.
You: you missed out on a CATCH
You have disconnected.
Also, I'm a gangsta.
You: hiii
Stranger: yo
You: sup dawg?
You: keepin' it real?
Stranger: yea
You: yea, me too
You: i'm 2 legit 2 kwit
Stranger: where from?
You: your mother
You: whooaaa, burn, dawg!
You: too slow for that one, foo
Stranger: i knew it
You: You've been there too?
You: pretty big, i guess, but not bad considering
Stranger: u rela gangsta bitch?
You: she makes me feel like a real man, u kno?
Stranger: real*
You: fuck yeah i'm real gangsta! i can even spell that shit!
Stranger: :D :D :D
Stranger: fuck u
You: fuck your mother
You: wait, i already have
More insulting guys.
You: penis or vagina? "p/v?" how's that?
Stranger: uhm... I see...
Stranger: You're a "cool" and friendly wanker. And I should like you for it.
You: you're avoiding the question
You: obviously you have something to hide
You: that's okay, man
You: this is the internet
You: we are accepting of all types
Stranger: Oh...
Stranger: I guess... I guess I should tell you the truth...
Stranger: I'm a transvestite and you just lost the game.
You: you mother fucker!
Kelsey says:
and then i disconnected
Annnnd the desperate who-knows-what-gender.
Stranger: hey
Stranger: i like sex
Stranger: f
Stranger: bi
Stranger: u?
You: oh. wow. that was, uh, straightforward
You: are you asking for sex?
You: or was that just like
You: "getting to know you 101"
Stranger: idk
Stranger: depends
You: ...on what?
You: obviously you don't care about genders
You: so what the hell does it depend on?
Stranger: on you willing to have cyber
Stranger: on you willing to have cyber or not
You: idk
You: i might be too much for you
Stranger: are you a girl or boy
You: bitch you ain't never seen dick like this
Stranger: ok
You: that's not how you do it, man
You: you go "ohh yeah baby that's the biggest i've ever seen"
You: "can i have some more, sir"
Stranger: haha
You: this isn't a laughing matter
You: this is my dick, bitch
Your conversational partner has disconnected.
(And I thought I was doing pretty well, too. D: )
Alright, let's try this cybering shit again. Tailsy me wanted to do a robe/wizard hat one.
You: hi!
Stranger: hey
You: wassup? :)
Stranger: r u male or female
You: female
You: is that bad?
Stranger: no r u straght les or bi
You: idk bi i guess?
You: i have a gf now tho
Stranger: ohh im a female and m bi too
You: ohh, that's cool
Stranger: have u ever tried cyper sex
You: i think it's "cyber"
You: and yeah a couple of times
Stranger: yeah srry bout that hey do u want to try it with me
You: idk, are you into dinosaurs?
Stranger: uhh y
You: i like dinosaurs
You: its ok if you aren't
You: i mean, they're just really cool
Stranger: i am sort of
Stranger: do u want to try the cyber sex
You: sure
You: can i be a dinosaur?
Stranger: sorry but no u have to b ur beautiful self
You: well, shit
Stranger: ok u start
You: ummm what do i do
Stranger: havent u ever done cyber sex
You: well it was a while ago
Stranger: allright ill start
Stranger: ok im kissing passionatly while taking off ur shrt
You: ohh that's hot
You: i put on my robe and wizard hat
Stranger: now i take ur pants off
You: I cast Lvl. 3 Eroticism. You turn into a real beautiful woman.
You: I meditate to regain my mana, before casting Lvl. 8 Coc--pussy of the Infinite.
Stranger: wow thanks now take my clothes off
You: hold on i'm not ready yet
You: I spend my mana reserves to cast Mighty F*ck of the Beyondness.
Stranger: fine i take ur underwear off
You: I steal yo soul and cast Lightning Lvl. 1,000,000 Your body explodes into a fine bloody mist, because you are only a Lvl. 2 Druid.
Stranger: now unstrap ur bra
You: Robots are trying to drill my brain but my lightning shield inflicts DOA attack, leaving the robots as flaming piles of metal.
Your conversational partner has disconnected.
(...the worst part is, I was copying and pasting, and got that far before they gave up.)
I don't even know what this is. I'm just shocked it went on this long.
You: hi!
Stranger: YO!
You: what's up man!?
Stranger: Donde esta?
You: que?
You: i mean what?
Stranger: Spanish is for stupids
You: damn right
You: i ain't no stupids
Stranger: dammmmmn straight
You: yeah, super straight
Stranger: Do you hate Honkeys as much as I do?
You: fuck yeah i do
You: fuck honkeys (What the fuck is a honkey? "insult to white people. same as whitey and cracker, but no white person is offended by these words no matter who is saying them. unless u call a wigger a honkey. then they get pissed." ...huh, I'm not retarded. No wonder I didn't know.)
Stranger: Im gonan start a group called Honkey killers anonymous
Stranger: you in?
You: totally
You: this is definitely the best place to recruit for that, too
You: man i bet there's like, a million people already right?
Stranger: hels to the yeah
You: you missed an l i think
Stranger: We have jackets and shit
Stranger: DONT CORRECT ME BITCH!!!!!
You: fuck man, how do i get a jacket?!
Stranger: i dont mean that im sorry
You: i'm nobody's bitch
You: you'd better be sorry
Stranger: you have to kill 20 honkeys
You: i won't join your stupid club if you're gonna insult me like that shit
Stranger: cracker ass crackers
You: only 20? shit son
You: you're setting your standards kind of low man!
Stranger: thats for the jacket
Stranger: ask how many for the watch
You: how many for the watch?
You: you didn't mention the watch before
Stranger: 6.25 trillion
You: oh, is that all
Stranger: its a nice fucking watch
You: yeah i bet it is
You: only high quality shit for our club
You: amirite?
You: right?
You: right?
Stranger: its made of Space Rhino
You: oh i love that shit
You: totally deluxe
Stranger: totally
You: where'd you get it?
Stranger: uhhh space...duh
You: oh yeah
Stranger: geez
Stranger: can't teach you anything rookie
You: sorry man, sorry
You: i'm trying, man
You: i'mma work my way up the ranks
Stranger: im gonna have to demote you and take away your ostrich riding priviledges
You: oh fuck no!
You: please, bossman!
You: give me another chance!
Stranger: i dunno
You: please, man, i'll do anything
You: you think 6.25 trillion is a lot, you ain't seen nothing yet
Stranger: amateur hour
You: exactly man, exactly
You: i can do so much better
You: you've just gotta let me
You: please, godfather!
Stranger: im not sure im willing to give you the chance
Stranger: You have failed me for the last time
You: you want i kiss your ring?
You: you want i shine your shoes?
You: i'll do anything
Stranger: Kiss my shows and shine my ring
Stranger: shoes*
Stranger: then take out my garbage
Stranger: pick up my dry cleaning
Stranger: feed my pet pandas
Stranger: and my pet snake
Stranger: do not feed them the pandas please
Stranger: I will also need you to pick upa few things from the store for me
Stranger: A marky mark autographed poster
Stranger: 4 gallons of mayo
Stranger: and 17 syringes
Stranger: can this get done?
You: yes sir, i am happy to do it
You: ...do the syringes have to be new?
You: 'cause i can get the used ones for cheap
Stranger: oh my god...Do you really have to ask?
Stranger: I want used ones from hobos duuuuuuh?
Stranger: its like you dont even know me at all
You: i'm sorry, mang, i'm working on it
(I think this one is the most retarded.)