The Upcoming Holiday Season
My work schedule is full next week for the first time in two and a half month. Finally, a full 40-hr. week. That's good news. Some not so good news is they're taking away our weekends for the upcoming holiday, which irritates me to some extent because I usually need at least one good weekend off to unwind. But at least I'll have a little more money flowing in.
On that front, I was hoping I wouldn't have to really celebrate Christmas this year like I was able to last year. Honestly, I don't want anything from my parents. The only thing that I could possibly want is to acquire my truck and move back out of here. My dad's always too drunk to be around and my step-mom always tries to run everyone lives because her's sucks. It's any wonder I put up with them at all, after the history we've been through. I know it's all in the past, but it's hard for me to let go. I think had it not been for their interference, I'd already be well in and out of college with a good job that I would enjoy. Instead, I'm working tirelessly at an overnight job that pays somewhat decent but doesn't work me enough. And to be honest, I do want to go back to school at some point. I want so much to go to ITT Technical Institute and take up either Multimedia or Game Design. The problem is at this point, if I were to enroll, how to pay for it. I don't know if I can get Financial Aid for myself because I certainly can't rely on my parents for anything. Both my dad and step-mom's credits are screwed up, so I can't run off of them (hell, my dad's the reason my brother's not in college anymore). I'd have to do it on my own, and I'm not sure if I can or not. I can possibly look into it, but I'm not getting my hopes up. Maybe I'm not meant to work at a career-type job. It's like every career-type job I get I get, I always lose (first my railroad job in 2003, then my truck driving job in 2004). I so wish I could find some way to get ahead in my life but so many things keep winding me back here, back to St. Louis, back to the ends of the world. What is so important here in this pathetic city that I have to stay here the rest of my life? Tell me! What?
Maybe this is why I always try to wish my friends a better life. Because somehow I doubt I'll ever have a better life, not at the rate I'm going.
Oh, and people who know me in RL (and you know who you are) please don't bother to respond to this. I'd rather not hear it.
On that front, I was hoping I wouldn't have to really celebrate Christmas this year like I was able to last year. Honestly, I don't want anything from my parents. The only thing that I could possibly want is to acquire my truck and move back out of here. My dad's always too drunk to be around and my step-mom always tries to run everyone lives because her's sucks. It's any wonder I put up with them at all, after the history we've been through. I know it's all in the past, but it's hard for me to let go. I think had it not been for their interference, I'd already be well in and out of college with a good job that I would enjoy. Instead, I'm working tirelessly at an overnight job that pays somewhat decent but doesn't work me enough. And to be honest, I do want to go back to school at some point. I want so much to go to ITT Technical Institute and take up either Multimedia or Game Design. The problem is at this point, if I were to enroll, how to pay for it. I don't know if I can get Financial Aid for myself because I certainly can't rely on my parents for anything. Both my dad and step-mom's credits are screwed up, so I can't run off of them (hell, my dad's the reason my brother's not in college anymore). I'd have to do it on my own, and I'm not sure if I can or not. I can possibly look into it, but I'm not getting my hopes up. Maybe I'm not meant to work at a career-type job. It's like every career-type job I get I get, I always lose (first my railroad job in 2003, then my truck driving job in 2004). I so wish I could find some way to get ahead in my life but so many things keep winding me back here, back to St. Louis, back to the ends of the world. What is so important here in this pathetic city that I have to stay here the rest of my life? Tell me! What?
Maybe this is why I always try to wish my friends a better life. Because somehow I doubt I'll ever have a better life, not at the rate I'm going.
Oh, and people who know me in RL (and you know who you are) please don't bother to respond to this. I'd rather not hear it.