Rape, Abuse, and Absolutely Nothing Funny

[foxstarreh]

I think the worst thing a person can say to me is that they couldn’t ship Spuffy after 6.19 “Seeing Red.”

These people are mortified over Spike’s actions towards Buffy, and they have every right to be, but what this shows me is that they are completely dismissing Buffy’s abuse of Spike through the entire sixth season.

I’m going to say something now

Comments

[kikimay]

Here thanks to your beautiful Spuffel saga on AO3. (I'm really enjoying it. So much love!)

It's interesting to read the opinions of authors I like. Also because you write about Spike, Buffy and Angel is such a perfect scenario and I'm curious to know your take on them.

Necessary premise: I'm a big Buffy Summers fan. Like really. But I didn't like her immediately and I didn't sympathize with her during the first 3 seasons. My love for Buffy starts with The Freshman and, unironically, something that makes me love her is S6. I adore her journey into depression and the struggling to live in S6. I know that S6 made her hateful for so many fans, but that journey in the darkest parts of her made her much more interesting, fascinating and complex to me. That said, I'm also a big Spike fan. He's like my favorite Whedonverse character.

I'm going to the point. I agree with you, when you write that Buffy abused Spike. She was emotionally and physically abusive with him and it's a shame that the show pointed out how wrong was Spike's behavior but didn't really went there with Buffy. I also think that Spuffy in S6 was all about mutual abuse, Spike was also psycologically abusive and they basically fueled their relationship with violence and self-hate. The more they felt bad, the more the relationship was fucked up.

I also believe that Spike, at that time, wasn't really able to tell the difference between love and violence. He expressed that himself when he said that he wanted to take back Dru *with torture* (Lovers' walk) So basically for him it was all the same violence = expression of love. So he let himself being beated to the ground by Buffy as an "act of love". It was really fucked up. And Spike had to snap out from that terrible believe and he does when he see rape = violence, not love.

So ultimately it was really fucked up. But I think that they really become better in S7. Buffy is very gentle, even physically - or especially that - with Spike and Spike doesn't use anymore violence to court her.

[foxstarreh]

At the point that I wrote this, I was mostly responding to the people I'd seen who were only put off by the rape seen and didn't seem to think the whole season six relationship was abusive. Like, you know, right where it starts at "Wrecked." Violence front and center.

So at this point I'd only seen the blame on Spike, which is why I focused on him.

Now I'm feeling like I should take this thing down entirely, since I've gotten to see the 'Spike is perfect and it's all Buffy's fault because she didn't just love him even when he was being an abusive dick to her!' side of things and I... really, really don't want the people of that mind to think I'm on their side.

The shit Spike does (the stalking, the violence, the trying to convince her that no one else cares about her) is creepy, cruel, abusive, and just completely fucked up. The only thing that really redeems him for me is that his immediate response to almost raping her is to realise how far he's crossed the line and to go try to fix it and make sure it doesn't happen again.

And you're right. He didn't know the difference. Which is why he needed to go learn it, by getting the soul. So for him to realise that is huge.

I love Buffy. She's permanently settled up in my favourite characters ever. So even if I'm not happy with her behaviour, I do still think she's a wonderful character.

And as far as her relationship with Spike goes, season seven is what settled it for me. That they both went through the level of shit they did in season six, being both abusive and abused, and still come out of it wanting to help and look out for each other and, in the end, capable of having a deep and caring relationship (whether or not it's sexual or romantic) is incredible.

[kikimay]

And as far as her relationship with Spike goes, season seven is what settled it for me. That they both went through the level of shit they did in season six, being both abusive and abused, and still come out of it wanting to help and look out for each other and, in the end, capable of having a deep and caring relationship (whether or not it's sexual or romantic) is incredible.

AMEN.
So many people - among the Spuffy haters - disregard S7 and the huge progress Buffy and Spike made. It's S7 that made me a Spuffy fan. Honestly if all ended in S6 I could have seen the point of the hating, but since I'm amazed by how much they learn in S7 and how deeply they care for each other after all that happened I don't. It's a giant maturity level that I don't see in Bangel which is always the same (Starcrossed lovers, tears and everything but they never "grow up" with their relationship. Which is also why I like your Bangel so much in the Spuffel you created, because the dynamic change)

Yes, while I'm a huge Buffy fan I can admit that she was cruel and abusive to Spike in S6 and it was wrong. But bashing her for that it's absurd to me. As absurd is to put all the blame on her. (They both fucked up. Spike had the justification that he was soulless and educated to violence and Buffy was clinically depressed)